For the last two weekends I've been swamped with children's parties! Last July 3, I attended two seventh birthday parties: one of the celebrants was a former office mate's daughter and the other one was my nephew, Matthew.  Just last Saturday, I attended the baptism and reception of my new niece, Lexi. I realize that being a parent means anticipating birthday party and reception expenses (apart, of course, from the gift expenses from birthday party invitations you'll get throughout the year).

Is It Necessary to Spend on Children's Parties?

In the Philippines, maybe this question isn't really asked a lot. It's part of our tradition to have birthday parties. Filipinos are well known for making up any excuse to have a salu-salo since we are so fond of eating together, both for gustatory and socio-cultural reasons. However, given the hard times, it's worthwhile to ask.

The "biggies" in terms of celebrations cover the following:

• Baptismal Reception (typically, when the baby is 3 months old)
• First Birthday Party
• Seventh Birthday Party

I've scoured the internet for reasons why the seventh birthday is really important and the most I've come up with is: it's a major milestone in a child's life. I can understand why a baptism and first birthday party are special. A baptism is the community's way of welcoming its newest member. A first birthday party marks the parents' celebration of their child's first year of life.  I guess "7" marks a child's entry into his primary schooling (first grade, big school, etc.) and indicates that he's no longer a "baby." Much later on,  the 18th birthday also is special because this mark's a child's transition from childhood to adulthood.

Now, is a party really necessary? It all depends on the parents (since they're the ones spending for it).

Celebrations: A Thin Line Between "For Love and For Show"

I actually reflect back to my wedding day when I think about celebrations. My husband and I had the option to elope and just spend for a honeymoon. I've actually heard of couples doing this. It definitely saved them a lot of money. However, we took other things into consideration: our families, our friends and how much we wanted to include them in this commitment we were making. Filipino family tradition and our respect for it also played a role. I guess the same thing applies to birthday parties. It depends on who you want to include in your joy and your celebration. The more wealthy the couple, the more generous the reception or party. Many a couple have fought over bloated expenses for a party. At some point, a couple will be forced to go back to their original reasons for having a celebration. Important question to ask would be, "Who are we doing this for? Why are we doing this? Who should we involve? How much is our budget cap for this?" As I see it, though, there really is no obligation on anyone's part to have a big party.

A Simple Rule of Thumb on Spending

The first thing parents need to figure out is whether the party is a need or a want. There's really no right or wrong answer. It all depends on the couple. After they've decided, then they can determine the budget cap for the expense. In our SP article, Your Family Income: Some Budget Models, it's recommended that a couple put 20% of their family income into the "Debt" category, covering credit card expenses and auto loans. Depending on the size of the party, a couple can put in an additional 2-5% to cover a birthday party on top of the 20% covering debts on a monthly basis for a series of months (3-6 months, once again, depending on the budget).

In the end, it's all about what a family prioritizes. No one will take it against a family if they prefer not to spend on a party. It could very well go to a child's educational fund or a trip that the child is anticipating. Apart from that, the size of the party and the kind of expense required (whether it's just a small gathering of friends and family at home or an all-out mini-debut) will all depend on the parents' judgement.

Image from Flickr.com/bozarth.