When my son, Badger, was two, his pediatrician asked me about how he was getting along speechwise. I said that he was babbling but apart from saying Dada and "mamam" (his "word" for breastfeeding), he didn't really say anything that I understood. She then shared with me that at his age, he should be saying a few words already apart from Mama and Dada. She suggested that I see a developmental pediatrician just to be "on the safe side." My husband told me not to worry. "He's a boy kasi," was his excuse. I heard it before: boys are not as verbally advanced as girls who can talk as early as 12 months old. I wasn't sure what to do.

Getting the News and Wondering If It Was My Fault

I decided to err on the safe side. I called up the developmental pediatrician at St. Luke's Hospital and set an appointment. I was surprised to find out that he had a three month waitlist! That was how in-demand he was. Nevertheless, I set up the appointment and told my pediatrician about it. She told me that a 3-month wait was not surprising at all.

I wasn't around during the actual appointment because of my full-time work at the time. So, my husband took Badger to the developmental pediatrician. When they came back, I was informed that Badger was indeed speech delayed for his age and that he needed occupational therapy as well as speech therapy. I was devastated. I felt like I was such a bad mom. Was it my fault?

I'm lucky to have a patient and loving husband who explained to me that it didn't matter whose fault it was. The important thing was what to do about it. Later on, I also realized that it was good that we had consulted with the developmental pediatrician early on so that we could do some early intervention. Apart from giving us advice on how to give Badger set routines that would help him with his behavior, our developmental pediatrician recommended a nearby school with available occupational therapists. When we inquired about speech therapy, the waitlist was even longer than the one of the developmental pediatrician. They could only accommodate us much later for speech therapy but his occupational therapy could start immediately.

A Firsthand Look at Labeling

During his first week there, the yaya who accompanied Badger to the school came back with some surprising things to say. "Ate, yung mga bata sa school, parang hindi normal. Si Badger po ba may problema katulad nila?" (Ate, the kids in the school didn't seem normal. Is Badger like them?).

This was his first taste of "labeling" and my heart felt like it was breaking. I gently explained to her that Badger needed some help with his talking and that not all kids developed at the same rate. Some of those kids need more help than the others. I told her the importance of not labeling other kids "normal" or "abnormal." It didn't matter. What mattered was that those kids have people who love them and want to help them.

The Turning Point: A Two Month Maternity Leave

In the middle of everything, I got an ectopic pregnancy and lost a baby. I felt really, really bad, inconsolable, in fact. Everyone begged me to take the requisite maternity leave to recuperate. For me, God really does work in mysterious ways. Those two months were actually very critical in my growth as a parent.

Instead of getting depressed and going into more self-blame, I took it as an opportunity to concentrate on Badger. I read up on speech delay, speech therapy and went to his occupational therapy classes to observe what was going on. I realized that, more than anything, Badger needed some practice in patience and observation. He quickly learned how to greet his teacher, put aside his back pack and participate in the morning's activities with his occupational therapist. I saw him get the habit of "quiet hands" and waiting for another game or toy. At home, I would find lots of opportunities for us to play and for him to model what I was saying. I read books to him more often and introduced him to Starfall.com.

The Payoff: Dramatic Improvement

One evening, after attending a friend's birthday party, Badger was starting to get cranky but we just needed to wait a few more minutes for my husband to finish up a video game. I started singing the alphabet to him to calm him down.  My heart stopped when he started singing it back to me. In fact, I just stopped singing and he continued with the rest of the alphabet. I wanted to cry.

Not long after, he began his speech therapy sessions. According to his speech therapist, Badger's gap in speech delay was already closing and he was doing quite well. After six months of occupational therapy and some speech therapy, we went back to Badger's developmental pediatrician for an assessment. I personally took him to the doctor this time. His developmental pediatrician prounced "a dramatic improvement." Badger greeted the doctor and was very patient with the activities. The doctor was quite happy with Badger's progress and told us to continue towards the end of the program.

What I Learned

I was overjoyed to witness Badger's learning progress. My husband and I talked about what to do next and we realized that, with a set routine, loving care and some early intervention, anything was possible for Badger. I also finally understood a parent's role in bringing up a child: We are our children's first teachers, whether we like it or not. That means, whatever quality time we give to our children will have a long term impact.

I also appreciated the sacrifice that working parents have to make so that their kids will grow up happy and healthy. After I went back to work, of course, I had some conflicting feelings. Imagine what two months of my time could do for my son! However, the reality is: I still needed my full time job. But at least, now, I truly know and cherish "quality time." It's more than just a couple of hours playing with the kids. It is everything I do that influences and teaches my son how to behave. A parent's love and constancy is what keeps a child's world together. It is priceless and of utmost importance.  Don't wait for a problem to arise. Give it all you've got.

Read more about Speech and Language Delay in an article by Lili Narvaez.