This morning I woke up to a leg cramp and, after reviewing my What to Expect When You're Expecting book, I realized that I am now in my sixth month and nearing the end of my second trimester. It's a time of transitions for me. I don't know if it's my hormones or the idea that I'm going through another life stage that makes me all sentimental. But the fact is: I'm having mixed emotions right now.

Looking Back

This will be my last staff blog entry. I thought about it all of last week, wondering what to say, how to say it. There's really no way around it. I feel sad because I've loved being managing editor of this website. I've never had so much fun. I feel so blessed to have helped start SmartParenting.com.ph. I've grown to love the community, meeting so many wonderful moms along the way. I've also loved the work of writing, editing, corresponding with our talented set of contributing writers, and going on shopping adventures in places like Divisoria and Baclaran. Working on SmartParenting.com.ph was just perfect, especially because I got pregnant with my second child last March and I've learned so much more about motherhood and child rearing in the past few months. But it's also with great joy and expectation that I now look forward to a new phase (and adventure) in my life.

Time to Move On

They say that change is the only constant in life. And that's true. Without change, there would be no growth. And what kind of life would it be for any of us if we didn't grow? As parents, we know this deeply in our hearts. There's a bittersweet irony in being a parent: we cherish each moment in our children's lives and yet, we must constantly learn to let go and help them grow up. I look at my son and marvel at how much he's grown: physically, mentally, emotionally. Wasn't he just an adorable, fat and affectionate baby yesterday? Today, he's bursting with energy, running up and down halls, exclaiming over road signs and driving me nuts but surprising me with a candid kiss now and then. I hug and kiss him as much as I can today because I know that one of these days, he'll grow up and tell me that he's a big boy already. It's the same with opportunities and changes. It's easy to stick with what's safe and what's secure. But if we don't take risks and learn to let go, we won't see growth as well.

(Read Nikki Constantino's blog entry on her son and his independence, Bittersweet Victory).

Horizons

We've taken a journey together. But the story is far from over. In some languages, there is no word for goodbye. It's not surprising because not many people like that word either. I like to see it as reaching another stepping stone, another bridge to cross, a horizon to conquer. It's not about what will end, but what will begin. This leads me to a reflection on that one scene in Toy Story 3, when Andy's mom, looks at her son's empty room and sucks in her breath. I'm sure there weren't a lot of moms who left the theater dry-eyed. My reaction to it was automatic but the feelings and thoughts behind it were complex. It isn't the actual milestone that brings such richness into our lives. It's the journey, the hard work, "the climb" (to quote Miley Cyrus). Facing your son's empty room because he's going off to college stirs such intense emotions: happiness over his success, his new adventure and sadness over a stage that has ended. That's what I'm feeling today, this week.

To all the readers of SmartParenting.com.ph, thank you for a wonderful journey together.

Image from Flickr.com/ecstacist.