On criticisms and being a single mom
It wasn’t all well wishes and support that Delamar received during her pregnancy. As a matter of fact, people would express their disapproval and one mom even asked Delamar how she would explain to her child when he grows up that he has a different family setup from his classmates.
Delamar reacted by being realistic about her situation as not being the ideal one for her child, but still being firm in her belief that she still can be a great mom despite everything. She thought to herself, “You know what? A lot of people are saying ‘You’re a role model.’ I’m not a role model! I’m just a girl who has a job on the radio. You can use me as your cautionary tale for your kids. And I hate that idea. I’m not saying this is okay. More than anybody, I’m brokenhearted about the situation. But I’m going to make the most out of it.”
Delamar goes further to champion single moms and their dedication to rearing good children. She does this while pointing out that it can also be rather unfair to hastily judge single women as incapable of being good parents or being less of a parent.
“You’re a parent,” she points out. “Your job really is to accept the child with any fact of his life, whether he’s adopted, whether he’s being raised by a single mom or a single dad, or you’re poor, your job is to equip the child na ‘Ah ito ang buhay ko. Ito ‘yung facts ng buhay ko eh.’ ‘How do I live my life in a happy way and accept all of it and be okay?’ It will be up to you. If you make him feel like he’s less (of a person because) you don’t have a husband, that’s exactly what he’s going to think. But if you tell him ‘You know what, I didn’t marry your dad. But you’re in no way any less than your classmates. Then that’s what he’s going to believe.”
“How many single women have been out there and actually did a great job than women who were married? A lot! You can’t ever say. Parenting is so tricky – you could be a single mom and do a spectacular job, or you could be married, and do the most horrible job ever.”
At the end of the day, Delamar acknowledges that her life, her world, no longer belongs to herself, but rather to her child. All her decisions will become a factor in her own fulfillment as a woman and in making sure Cooper grows up well. “I was just really winging it,” she says. “Every step of the way, I need to decide what’s good for Cooper, what’s good for me. I realized that my happiness, actually, nakakabit sa kanya eh. If I’m okay, and the dad and I are okay, whether we’re married or not, he’s going to be okay.