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Mom we Love: Delamar Arias

Radio sweetheart Delamar Arias shares with us the struggles and joys of being a parent, and answers your most burning questions in this exclusive interview.

DelamarOn criticisms and being a single mom

It wasn’t all well wishes and support that Delamar received during her pregnancy. As a matter of fact, people would express their disapproval and one mom even asked Delamar how she would explain to her child when he grows up that he has a different family setup from his classmates.

Delamar reacted by being realistic about her situation as not being the ideal one for her child, but still being firm in her belief that she still can be a great mom despite everything. She thought to herself, “You know what? A lot of people are saying ‘You’re a role model.’ I’m not a role model! I’m just a girl who has a job on the radio. You can use me as your cautionary tale for your kids. And I hate that idea. I’m not saying this is okay. More than anybody, I’m brokenhearted about the situation. But I’m going to make the most out of it.”

Delamar goes further to champion single moms and their dedication to rearing good children. She does this while pointing out that it can also be rather unfair to hastily judge single women as incapable of being good parents or being less of a parent.

“You’re a parent,” she points out. “Your job really is to accept the child with any fact of his life, whether he’s adopted, whether he’s being raised by a single mom or a single dad, or you’re poor, your job is to equip the child na ‘Ah ito ang buhay ko. Ito ‘yung facts ng buhay ko eh.’ ‘How do I live my life in a happy way and accept all of it and be okay?’ It will be up to you. If you make him feel like he’s less (of a person because) you don’t have a husband, that’s exactly what he’s going to think. But if you tell him ‘You know what, I didn’t marry your dad. But you’re in no way any less than your classmates. Then that’s what he’s going to believe.”

“How many single women have been out there and actually did a great job than women who were married? A lot! You can’t ever say. Parenting is so tricky – you could be a single mom and do a spectacular job, or you could be married, and do the most horrible job ever.”

At the end of the day, Delamar acknowledges that her life, her world, no longer belongs to herself, but rather to her child. All her decisions will become a factor in her own fulfillment as a woman and in making sure Cooper grows up well. “I was just really winging it,” she says. “Every step of the way, I need to decide what’s good for Cooper, what’s good for me. I realized that my happiness, actually, nakakabit sa kanya eh. If I’m okay, and the dad and I are okay, whether we’re married or not, he’s going to be okay.

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Comments
  • Guest Jul 05 2012 @ 05:29am
    Having a "different family setup" won't make somebody less of a person. I was raised by my grandparents, and I am proud that I was able to finish my college degree, and now working for a multinational company. People who think they are "perfect" tend to prejudge others. It's not about having a complete family. It's about HOW parents raise their children.
  • sexybogs Feb 22 2012 @ 01:11pm
    Great job! Congrats to the author of this article. To delle, after reading this i must say that you inspired me alot. Much loved to you and to cooper. Stay happy. Godbless. :)
  • aadensmum Feb 20 2012 @ 11:38am
    I so loved Delamar!!! Nice article to begin my rainy monday..
    More power to the TMR.. and to all single moms.. :)
  • anerba :) Feb 16 2012 @ 02:17pm
    I love Delamar :)

    Good job and All the best :)
  • Guest Feb 08 2012 @ 04:13pm
    Nice article. Delle, you'll be a great mom nomatter what, I just know it. Wag mo lang payagan na maimpluwensyahan nina C and G si baby Cooper. heehee! =)

    More power to you and the show.
  • Guest Feb 07 2012 @ 11:18pm
    It's GREEN Eggs and Ham. :)
  • Guest Feb 03 2012 @ 04:22pm
    I love this article! I All the best to Delle and her cute baby!
  • Guest Feb 02 2012 @ 09:16am
    We love Delamar! Del inspires women through any medium, whether it be print or online. By the way, Ivy, the website reaches over a million readers every single month, and I wouldn't call that sad :)
  • Guest Feb 01 2012 @ 03:11pm
    Hi,
    I enjoy reading all about Delamar. I hope that this will be in printed out in your magazine like this month. Sad naman if dito lang sa site nyo naka publish..

    Thanks SMART PARENTING for guiding us in motherhood.
    More Power!!!!

    Ivy
  • Guest Feb 01 2012 @ 01:26pm
    Reading the 10 comments and I'm touched. Actually, that'd be an understatement. I'll keep reading these comments just puffs the heart. 
  • Guest Feb 01 2012 @ 12:45pm
    simply inspiring :)
  • Guest Feb 01 2012 @ 10:24am
    Great article Smart Parenting. Love Delamar and her baby Cooper!
  • Guest Jan 31 2012 @ 10:41pm
    you're awesome delle :D and cooper is uber than awesome :D
  • Guest Jan 31 2012 @ 08:22pm
    Delamar is such an amazing woman for her beliefs and honesty....Such a handsome baby boy!
  • Guest Jan 31 2012 @ 01:34pm
    Very well said Delle. See, this woman comprises 50% (the other half is her partner- the nutty Chico, hehehe) of the reasons why i listen to The Morning Rush for 15 years (and counting!). So smart, so strong, so funny (yes, Delle, you are funny!) - she is my role model and her being a single mom just doubled my awe. I was tearful on the big reveal. Being a listener for so long, i felt the fear and concern of a sister for someone so dear who's about to face the repercussions of being a single mom in a very judgmental industry. At the same time, i am readying myself for a battle royal in case someone talks ill of Delle within my hearing distance, hahaha!
    And Cooper is just sooooo cute! A real gift from God. All those years of waiting are all worth it. ^_^
  • Guest Jan 31 2012 @ 09:10am
    hi delamar! you're so blessed to have a super cute baby boy. I'm also a single mom of 2 kids and i think we, as a family are doing just fine without their father. It is true that rearing a child without a father doen't make them less of a person. It's nice to know that im not the only one who think like that regarding marriage.
    Thank you for inspiring all the single moms out there!
    God bless you and Cooper!
  • Guest Jan 31 2012 @ 08:15am
    your lil prince is so cute! welcome to the real world of motherhood! goodluck and godbless to you and to your baby cooper! :)
  • Guest Jan 31 2012 @ 05:35am
    I have listened to Delle for years as she waited for "the right one". Ngayon nakita na niya ang "right guy", Cooper Matteo ang name, hehe.. See, everything is worth the wait, Delle. Congrats on being a mom, it's the hardest job in the world! Not to mention the most rewarding din.. God bless you, Chico, RX, TMR and Smart Parenting!
  • Guest Jan 30 2012 @ 07:30pm
    hi del, when i heard about your pregnancy, my first reaction was inggit! i had been a silent rusher since u started ur show, and i always admired and looked up to you. and now that you're a mom to this super-adorable cooper, i'm still inggit. but in a very good way! i know the 2 of u will have an even better future bec you have each other. thank u for making our mornings much easier. god bless!
  • Guest Jan 30 2012 @ 03:55pm
    yay! thanks Delamar for your words of encouragement. I also did the same thing. I didn't marry my son's dad because I don't want to get married just because he got me pregnant. Marriage is about two people in love taking the next big step of being together...for life. Now, he's married to someone else but no regrets because i have a very wonderful boy who lights up my life!

    God bless you Del and keep smiling! God is good!
    Thanks Smart Parenting! Keep it up!
  • Guest Jan 30 2012 @ 03:48pm
    you will be a great mom to Cooper because you are a strong woman and you know what your priorities are. Good Job Del!
  • Guest Jan 30 2012 @ 02:09pm
    cooper is so cute... keep it up delamar... =)
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