• How Favoritism Affects Families

    Parents should know that having an apple of the eye can result in raising a rotten apple.
    by Maan Pamaran .
  • mom kidsThere is one iconic line from the dialogue of the old-school show The Brady Bunch that has transcended time. In this scene, one of the Brady girls named Jan complained, “It’s always Marcia this, it’s always Marcia that! Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!” That’s because she felt that her prettier and more popular sister Marcia was favored by everybody, even their parents.

    According to Teacher Bunny Ty of The SchoolRoom Inc. in Pasig, this scenario is not only for classic TV  but is also played out in real life, even here in our country. “Favoritism isn't limited to race or ethnicity. It can just play itself out in different ways in different families.”  Everybody knows that having a favorite child is common among families with more than one child, but everybody also knows that there are very few parents who will admit to playing favorites.

    Who are these kids who can get away with almost anything? “There is no usual profile -- it differs across families and sometimes culture (Chinese prefer sons because they carry the last names, etc). Common or obvious ones include the "most good-looking one" or the one that most resembles the parent or someone significant (looks like Lolo, for example); the one with the highest grades or the easiest to raise; or the eldest child or daughters for the fathers, sons for the mothers, etc -- lots of things really, and there's nothing typical. This just goes to show that each family has its own story to tell.”

    She adds, “Favoritism is a parenting issue, something that a parent needs to work on and something the couple needs to discuss among themselves. Favoritism doesn't really have anything to do with the child (except that s/he is the favored one) but is usually a parent's act of preference. Children will rarely do things "on purpose" to be the favorite.  If they do, it is because of the kind of environment that they were raised in; in fact, children can be born being favorites already. Sometimes, it is brought about by other things also. like the child that survived an illness becomes the favorite.”

     

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