Trust is probably the most basic tenet of every household. It should be treasured and observed. It should be a non-negotiable… so just in case you have the bad luck to catch your yaya sneaking back into your home in the wee hours of the morning…act! Act immediately.
Action does not under any circumstances mean recklessness. What is important is that immediate measures are taken to face the situation head-on. Sitting your yaya down and speaking to her privately but with the knowledge of the rest of your household will send the message to everyone else that this kind of behavior cannot be tolerated nor is it acceptable.
Upon speaking to your yaya, certain assumptions have to be made: 1. Ground rules regarding departures and arrivals within your home have already been set and properly explained and understood by every member of your household. 2. Following these rules are more than just a requirement for discipline but also one for respect. While she is under your employ, living under your roof, she must abide by the rules you set forth. 3. Ask your yaya to explain herself – and again, give her a real chance to explain her actions. Do not prejudge based on hearsay or first impressions. Allow her the chance. Make sure your tone is one that is firm but not fearfully forceful. 4. Ask yourself how “valuable” your yaya is to your household. Next should she prove a vital part of it, how far are you willing to go to allow her a second chance and what effect does this have on the rest of your staff…Will they feel you are playing favorites by keeping her? These are things that must be weighed carefully. 5. Evaluate Yaya’s story… listen to the details, time frames and scenarios presented. Her capacity to tell “half-truths” are just as indicative of her ability to tell an outright lie. 6. Ask yaya…if the tables were turned…what does she feel you should do? What would be the proper “consequence/sanction” for her actions? This will give you a clear indication of her sense of justice and perhaps a read on whether or not you can still trust her.
At the end of the day, short of a blatant infraction, everyone deserves a second chance. However, if at any point you are no longer comfortable with any member of your household because of a lack of trust or respect --- do not hesitate to consider letting them go. You have every right to choose the inhabitants of your house --- after all, it is your home.