How To Say No To Expensive Gifts On Your Child’s Wish List
Christmas is for kids and parents are happy when their kids enjoy the season. However, it’s not an excuse to splurge or spoil. Contributor Lorela Sandoval gives some tips on how to respond when your child asks for an expensive gift.
Pampering kids too much, even if that means giving into their overindulgences, comes naturally to any parent. Besides, as loving parents, you always want the best for your kids. Nevertheless, that shouldn’t be a justification to spoil your kids. Your kids may really go overboard and ask for more than they can chew. So should we always give in?
Identify The Spoiler There are two sides of the coin here. First, ask yourself—are you a spoiler? If not, is there anyone in the family who spoils your child? Identifying the spoiler is significant in the process of responding to your child’s pleas. You should ensure that, even if you refuse to buy the expensive gift for your child, the spoiler will also not buy it. Someone else buying it for you will not help your child understand the situation and learn the values of discipline and respect for parental authority. You may not buy it, but your child may depend on the spoiler. Discuss your finances, the values you want to teach your child and effects of spoiling your child in the long run with the spoiler. Remind the spoiler that material things are lesser priorities, and spending quality time with your child is more important to you.
Simply Explain And Get Everyone To Be Consistent Second, after talking with the spoiler, talk to your kid but make sure that the spoiler is present as well, simply to give your child the idea that neither you nor the spoiler will tolerate his behavior. Explain to your child why you are setting limits on purchases and how much you can really spend for the occasion. In addition, let your child know that you can only spend for something that is truly needed. Just when you think your child is too young to understand things—think again. Kids are smarter than we think. Don’t get tired explaining things to them; your efforts will be rewarded.
As a parent, you might find utmost joy in seeing your kids light up with all the gifts in front of them, it shouldn’t be an excuse for extra pampering. The social psychologist, Susan Newman, Ph.D, says: “The more kids are spoiled, the less giving will be appreciated, the more it will come to be expected, lose meaning, and probably over stimulate them if they’re still young.” So next time your child approaches you for his wish list, make sure that you’re ready to say no to some items and explain why to your child. It will be good for them in the long run.