It isn’t easy being a boy. On the one hand, you expect little junior to be strong and tough. If he sheds even a tear, he’d be labeled a wimpy loser.
On the other hand, the lad would be criticized if he were insensitive and uncaring. So what’s really the ideal?
A softy or a toughie? The answer is both. A strong and sensible young man who is not afraid to show his emotions?
It is possible, experts say.
Boys will be boys “Males are more aggressive and physically active than females. This difference appears as early as 2 years and 6 months. It continues to manifest throughout the school years” says Violeta Bautista, Ph.D., psychologist and family therapist at the Care and Counsel Wellness Center in Quezon City. One theory states that girls are ahead of boys in terms of development, and that girls are less active than boys because they are more developmentally “mature,” she adds.
In Raising Cain, a book that looks into the emotional development of boys from birth through adulthood, co-author Michael Thompson, Ph.D., explains that before puberty, boys and girls have the same level of testosterone. However, “boys are predisposed to higher activity levels as a result of androgens or male hormones.” Boys are generally competitive and physically rough, though this does not prove their penchant for violence. Girls are less physically aggressive. They like talking while playing. Boys are “noisy at play” but usually, they imitate the sounds that guns, laser weapons, or cars make.
Revising the boy code In Real Boys, author William Pollack, Ph.D., refers to the Boy Code as an outdated set of assumptions and rules that seem to stifle their emotional development. Real Boys is a book that dispels the myths of manhood and gives ideas on how to raise boys to be successful men.
“Donít show your feelings,” “act really tough,” “don’t be too nice” ; these are some of the rules of the Boy Code.
Click here to learn more about how to start teaching your boy to be a man.