They love with all their heart and work with all their might. They’d do anything for their children. Mothers – can they ever do anything wrong?
Yes, they can. Mothers are making a big mistake if they give too much and expect too little from their children.
Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., an adjunct assistant professor at Harvard University and author of Too Much of a Good Thing, says "We're hurting our children by expecting too little and giving too much -- too many toys, too much help, too much leeway in how they can behave."
In a study he conducted in 2002, Dr. Kindlon found that of the 2,400 parents surveyed, 91% said that they are more lenient nowadays. They also admit that it’s not always a good thing. Dr. Kindlon explains, "We want open communication with our kids, not dictatorial rule. We want, to some extent, to be their friends. But sometimes that desire comes at a price: not being able to set a limit when a child needs it."
He says parents need to realize that by not setting limits, they are hindering their children’s character development. When they are too protective, children miss the chance of learning important life lessons that they will need as adults. This misplaced kind of love does more harm than good, and often, it’s the mother who has the tendency to overindulge the kids.
If you feel like you’ve somehow started parenting on the wrong foot and realize that it’s a big mistake, it’s never too late to change the order of things. Start small. Here are some ways you can prevent further damage :
1. Make mealtime a no-electronics time. Turn off the TV. Make a rule that no mobile phones or gaming consoles should be present at the dinner table. Reclaim family time by getting rid of all possible distractions.