Although quite unusual, instances can happen where your yaya becomes your brother’s girlfriend. You all live in one house and are awkward about dealing with her and her job responsibilities…such is the situation posed to us by one of our readers. How does one deal with this situation?
There are a number of ways to address the situation. Here are some suggestions:
1. In order to preserve harmony in the home and to avoid any feelings being hurt, one option could be to change your yaya. The premise behind this would be that you have already spoken to your brother regarding your apprehensions as to how to deal with the current situation and have explained that it would be beneficial for all concerned in order to avoid the possibility of any disunity within the household.
2. Another option would be to have a heart to heart talk with your yaya, explaining to her that in as much as you respect her relationship with your brother, she must also respect your role as her employer. She needs to understand that professionalism is key and that she should not take anything personally. For example, should you reprimand her for any wrongdoings, she must be aware that it is really just constructive criticism about her work --- nothing to do with her as a person or her relationship with your sibling. She needs to separate her personal life from her professional life just as you need to do the same. This way, you stand the chance of keeping both your yaya and brother happy as well as your own household contented and at peace.
3. Should you decide to keep your yaya, you also do need to speak to your brother and similar to your talk with her --- he also needs to separate work life from personal life. He must not take any reprimands against his girlfriend as a personal affront to him. It’s just work, nothing else. Otherwise, it could complicate your family relationships.
4. Speak to your own household. Understand that due to the special circumstance, there will also be some awkwardness with regard to dealing with your brother’s girlfriend when it comes to the rest of your domestic staffers. Many times, they may not know how to relate with your yaya. You could possibly be accused of favoritism and the like. Clarify the boundaries and define what proper decorum in your family means. Lay down the rules so as to avoid any miscommunication by any party. In this regard, it would also be wise to speak to your children as well as your spouse. Knowing the sensitivities of the relationship, they must also be more considerate.
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In this situation, all things considered --- awkwardness is definitely a given. However, with the right attitude and a generous heart… a home can remain harmonious regardless of the circumstances surrounding it.