Thinking of marrying or moving in with a man of a different race, background or even religion? The truth is, it’s not much different than any marriage, where the rules of unconditional love + hard work apply.
There will be challenges, yes—plenty of them. But the beauty of a mixed marriage is the diversity that both parties bring, and the multi-cultural world you get to create within your own home. Just imagine how well-rounded culturally your children could be!
In random order, here are ten tips for maintaining a mixed marriage, and being happy in it. 1. Know yourself and be yourself. It’s okay to be who you are. In fact, it’s essential. Marrying someone else should not change you, the person they fell in love with in the first place. It should give you the opportunity to discover even more about yourself and your own potential, enhanced by your partner’s.
2. Don’t try to change the other person. Love is about acceptance, tolerance, and forgiveness. If anything, learn to change your own bad habits and your own negative reactions.
3. Communicate, communicate, communicate. There will be misunderstandings, for some, most of the time. Realize that a lot can get lost in translation, and you will need to learn to explain things through.
4. Learn about his background so you can understand him as a person. Talk about cultural differences so that you know each others’ expectations when it comes to holidays, religious celebrations, etc.
5. Be realistic. No, good old love won’t solve all the problems you are going to encounter. But talking honestly and openly about them, working on solutions, and making greater efforts to love despite them will strengthen your bond.
6. Ignore the general public’s musings. A lot of what you feel is influenced by your family and community’s acceptance of your lifestyle. If their reaction is negative, don’t let that sway you. Know what you want for yourself and for your own new family, and then be willing to do the work to make it happen.
Click here to see more tips on how to make an interracial marriage work.