According to marriage and family therapistMichele Weiner-Davis, "Betrayal is in the eye of the beholder." People define cheating differently. Others say that something only counts as cheating if there's sex or sexual contact, while others say that it's cheating when there's already an emotional connection with someone else. It's really a broad spectrum.
That said, couples should care about each other's feelings and behave in such a way that the relationship will stay intact.
2. Cheaters can be happy in their relationship.
Based on a study, men and women cheat on their partners even if they claim that they're content in their relationship. So why do they cheat? Because they can. Lousy reason?
They don't justify cheating, EVER. Michele writes that it's being unfaithful that leads to cheating. Because the fact is that other people are also unsatisfied in their relationship but they remain faithful to their partners.
4. Cheaters usually cheat with someone they know.
Research has found that 85 percent of cheating begin with coworkers and friends, and the amount of time they spend together and understanding each other's work have something to do with it.
5. Women cheat too.
Men get a lot of flak for being cheaters, but gender alone doesn't really make a person more prone to cheat. The reasons for cheating, though, are divided and you can see similarities within the genders. Studies find that women are more likely to cheat for emotional satisfaction, while men are more likely to cheat for the sex. Both are damaging, of course.
6. Cheaters can hate themselves.
No matter what the reason is for cheating, if a person puts his ego aside and thinks about the betrayal he committed to someone he loves or claims to love, he'll feel like a piece of crap, according to relationships expertCharles J. Orlando.
7. Cheating doesn't "just happen."
"It just happened" is the line of so many cheaters out there. Know that affairs aren't spontaneous. Michele states that they require careful planning and decision-making. Sure, your husband may just be having an innocent lunch with a lady friend (just the two of them) to catch up. But that can lead to another date and then another. The whole thing is actually a "slippery slope," meaning to say it can happen so easily without your husband even realizing it.
You have every reason to worry, but that doesn't mean you stop trusting your husband. Make sure he still protects the relationship, aka he acts taken. He needs to be aware that something so small like an innocent catchup session can lead to something dangerous.
This is a NORMAL reaction, so don't let anyone give you hell for being devastated by something that truly is devastating. It can lead to anxiety and depression, and research has seen that people who have been cheated on also experience trauma.
9. It's not your fault.
This might be obvious to some, but this still needs to be said since there are people who blame themselves for their partner's infidelity. Take it from clinical psychologist Andra Brosh who says "When a man cheats, he's making a conscious choice to do it."