• couple bed sleep

    An important fabric of marriages is sex, and with fulfilling, mutually satisfying sex, relationships can reach a higher level of intimacy, closeness and connectedness. 

    However, because many couples experience challenges in their marriage and as individuals, leaving little room for “genuine intimacy, caring and interaction,” sex begins to lose its pleasurable, loving value. Without the feelings of bliss and contentment that accompanies a happy marriage, sex becomes a routine act, rather than a way for the couple to reaffirm their love for one another.

    “When husband and wife have intimacy through communication, trust, understanding and respect for each other, then I think they’d be healthy and comfortable in their sex life,” says Dr. Angelo Subida, clinical psychotherapist, author and speaker.


    Sex gone wrong
    “The list of ‘common problems’ [in a marriage] can be long,” says Subida. “Resentment, verbal/emotional abuse, physical abuse, unfaithfulness or infidelity, addictions, unrealistic expectations, suspicion/jealousy, financial problems, health/medical problems are some of the most commonly mentioned ones among my clients.” 

    Another factor that Subida attributes to sex being reduced to a mere ‘physical’ act is advertising’s portrayal and glamorization of sex that puts emphasis on orgasms. “Advertising is full of sex in order to sell products,” he says, “that people have become ‘objects’ rather than persons to be respected and loved. With an overdose of ‘unhealthy sex’ in the media or society, it can be tough for married couples to be discerning in keeping a realistic and balanced view when it comes to the sexual aspect of their marriage.”

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