Confession: I don’t get excited about Valentine’s Day. Why spend over P1,000 for a bouquet of flowers that will wilt in three days, or wade through hours of traffic to order an overpriced meal at a crowded restaurant? Valentine’s Day takes too much money, effort and stress -- what is romantic about that?
You know what’s romantic? Making your wife feel special, desired and as beautiful as the day you fell in love with her. And you both don’t even need to get out of the house.
1. Give compliments, not flowers. Remember the first time your husband said he liked you? And how he explained why – how you made him feel, the features or personality traits he loves the most, and how you make his heart skip a beat whenever you smile? Or maybe he didn’t say anything. He just had a way of looking at you that made you feel like you were so beautiful.That kind of gets lost in married life.
We think the compliments, but we don’t say them. You think your husband looks really hot in his suit and tie -- say it. You get flutters in your tummy when you see him playing with the kids -- say it. You love the sound of his voice on the phone -- say it, say it, say it.
And, of course, we want to hear those compliments too. So, hubbies, you don’t need to give flowers but give compliments. Don’t just say why you love her; tell her why. Tell her how she still makes you feel.
2. Get a gift that shows you that you know her. The best gift I ever got from hubby was a makeup palette. I was honestly shocked that he knew I wanted this particular brand since I’d never even mentioned it to him. But he had seen a Facebook post when I had gushed about its launch, and he quietly ordered it and had it sent to our house. He didn’t even make a big deal about it when I called. “Yeah, I thought you’d like it."
You know what I loved about that gift? It showed that he was listening to me. He may not have liked the post or initiated any conversation about makeup (because, c'mon, that would’ve been weird), but he just bought it because he thought I’d like it.
So, hubbies, stalk your wives’ social media feeds. Hint: don't just look at the posts where she tags you, but look at the ones she posts on her Facebook or Instagram. Has she a Pinterest board? Congratulations, you just found her digital depository of hidden desires.
In short, give her something that makes her say, “You know me better than anyone else.”
3. Kiss your wife like you’ve never kissed her before. When was the last time you just…kissed? Lots of kissing. JUST kissing. You wonder why so many women in their 40s read romance books like Fifty Shades and Twilight? Do you think it’s because we like the writing? It’s the sexual tension, husbands, the sexual tension.
You don’t get sexual tension in married life. There is no more relationship drama. Now, I don’t want the drama, but I do want to want something and not quite get it…yet. Kissing is a good way to build anticipation. I tell you, skip the candlelight dinner and the traffic, and just make out on the couch. It’s more fun, and you don’t have to worry about parking.
4. Ask her. Seriously. Just ask her. “Babe, I want to give you something real and personal. I think flowers and chocolates are just…ordinary. I don’t know how to make this special, so please tell me, because it’s really important to me that you feel how much I love you.” Jackpot -- and you didn’t even technically give anything yet.
5. Finally, the 's' we really want -- sleep. Oh my God, sleep. Wives want sleep. Lots of sleep. But we’re usually the first ones to wake up and the last ones to go to bed. And weekends? Weekends are even busier, especially since kids love to wake up before 6 a.m. on a Saturday.
If you want us to go all gooey inside, say, “Honey, sleep in today. I’ll make sure breakfast is ready. I’ll entertain the kids. I’ll even do the groceries. Stay in bed and sleep.” MY. HERO.