Intimacy is an important aspect of a relationship and past research has shown that married and long-term couples who have sex regulary, specifically once a week, are the happiest. However, providing new insight is a recent study that reveals parents aren’t having as much sex as they were a decade ago.
Published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, researchers from the San Diego University analyzed data collected from surveys of over 26,000 adults in the U.S., of which near 10,000 were parents.
The study showed that individuals who “were married or living together had sex 16 fewer times per year in 2010-2014 compared to 2000-2004,” according to the news release for the study. Adults who were never married are now having more sex compared to married adults!
“In the 1990s, married people had sex more times per year than never-married people, but by the mid-2000s that reversed, with the never-married having more sex,” said lead author Jean M. Twenge, a professor of psychology at the university.
According to the study, the largest decline in sexual frequency was seen among parents with school-age children between 6 to 12 years old. Good news for new parents however -- those with children 6 years old and below were having as much sex as married couples without kids.
Researchers also found that Millennials (those born in the 1990s) were having sex less often than the generations before them, meaning their parents and grandparents. And it’s not because parents of today are working too much. The opposite is actually true. The study found that those who worked more hours had sex more often. Cheers to working Millennial moms and dads!
In addition, age seemed to play a significant role as well. The peak of sexual frequency was found to be at 25 years old and would drop by 3.2 percent each year after. “People in their 20s have sex more than 80 times per year, declining to 60 times per year by age 45, and 20 times per year by age 65,” according to the report. “Older and married people are having sex less often—especially after 2000,” explains Twenge.
So, mom and dad, are you part of the decline? If you're looking to have better sex and up your weekly count of business in bed, here are a few things you and your partner can do as hinted on by a few more studies about sex: 1. Meet your partner's needs outside the bedroom. The more you make your partner feel special and loved, the more your partner will want you under the sheets, says results from a 2016 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
“Sexual desire thrives on increasing intimacy and being responsive is one of the best ways to instill this elusive sensation over time; better than any pyrotechnic sex,” says lead author Gurit E. Birnbaum, Ph.D. 2. Snuggle, cuddle and kiss more. “An important reason why sex is associated with well-being is that it promotes the experience of affection with the partner,” says Anik Debrot, a postdoctoral fellow at University of Toronto.
Meaning, sex on its own is not enough to make us happier in the long run. She and her team found that the snuggling and cuddling before and after sex mattered a lot! Without the affectionate touching, sex failed to increase long-term satisfaction and happiness, found the study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology. 3. Try and be less tense, mom. The more “agreeable” a wife was, the higher the likelihood that she and her husband had sex often, according to a study from Florida State University.
Women who are more relaxed in their view of life -- who don't worry too much about things beyond their control, are more open to experience and learn new things, or who find happiness in making other people happy--get more of the action, and gain all the benefits of having a healthy sexual relationship with her spouse. It does make sense, right?