• mom kid1.    She fears that her new partner may accept her, but not her child.
    Before considering dating again and the possibility of coming into a relationship,” the big question a single parent asks, first and foremost, is “can my partner accept my child?” As a responsible parent she cannot afford to think of only herself; she must also consider the dynamics that the child’s person brings into the budding romance.  


    2.    She fears she will be haunted by her past.
    Aside from the issue of the child, her past relationship is altogether another story.  Single parents have varied reasons and experiences that led them to their status.  Due to shared custody or visitation rights, some single moms may still be in communication with the father of their child.  On the other hand, some only keep civil relations with their exes, and a number choose not to be in contact at all. Whatever the case, single parents should set boundaries and be clear on the role each parent plays.  Sometimes, the conflict arises when the ex and the new partner are not sure where they stand.  


    3.    She is not sure if her child will welcome the new relationship.
    Inevitably, a single parent’s actions will affect her child. Expect that when a new person comes into the picture, a child will worry about sharing his mom with a “stranger”.  Most likely, there will be some resistance and he will not readily approve of his mom’s new partner.  The parent must prepare the child and assure him that no love will be lost between them.  She must also be honest about the new relationship, as denying it or delaying a discussion may make the child feel betrayed.


    4.    She worries about what her family or other people might say.
    No matter how independent-minded single parents may be, it can’t be helped that she would think about what other people will say about her coming into a new relationship.  On the part of the family, it is often out of concern for the child’s wellbeing.  Given our culture, a single parent must herself be prepared to handle the strain of comments, whether constructive or not.  This should be communicated properly with the important people in her life, especially the child.

     

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