We all know that finding the person who complements you and finds your little quirky habits appealing is definitely one of the most satisfying feelings in the world. But sometimes, when you’re so drunk in love, you also tend to settle. You end up compromising your standards to fit your partner’s capabilities, and you unknowingly turn a blind eye on the red flags of an unhealthy relationship -- yes, even if you're already married.
Manhattan-based clinical psychologist Joseph Cilona, Psy.D says that toxic relationships usually start with intense passion and attraction until it becomes controlling in the long run. "That makes it much more difficult for the person to push back or leave the relationship until it really starts to escalate," he adds. If your marriage is showing signs decay, recognize the signs early so you can overturn your relationships for the better.
Healthy relationships understand the importance of apologizing; toxic relationships play the blame game. Anne Brennan Malec, Psy.D., a Chicago-based clinical psychologist, marriage and family therapist, and author of Marriage in Modern Life: Why it Works, When it Works explains that the reason some people don’t want to say sorry is because it makes them feel vulnerable or flawed.
Couples who are in a healthy and mature union wouldn’t mind swallowing their pride when there’s trouble in paradise; both parties will strive to be the bigger and better person by acknowledging their mistakes instead of passing the blame on to their partners.
Healthy relationships bring out the best in you; toxic relationships pull you down and drain you out. Whether it’s good or bad, they say that the only thing constant in this world is change. You won’t be the same person you both were when you started dating so it’s important to accept the good things that come your way.
It may be in your career or life in general, if he can’t handle the way you’re growing into the woman you’re supposed to be, it will only lead to fights – and before you know it, you start to bend your ways just to satisfy his ego.
A healthy relationship is a two-way street; a toxic relationship is only focused on the benefit of one person. Remember that there are two people in the relationship – not just one; so if he shuts you down when you try to speak you mind, you’ll only end up bottling all your emotions inside which can be dangerous to your health.
A study conducted by psychologists from Harvard School of Public Health and the University of Rochester found that “suppressing emotions may increase the risk of dying from heart disease and certain forms of cancer.” Aside from that, it can also take a toll on your mental health. “Attempting to suppress thoughts can backfire and even diminish our sense of contentment,” says Tori Rodriguez, a psychotherapist and writer based in Atlanta.