• Sleeping in Separate Beds Occasionally May Improve Couples' Relationships

    Being together all the time may not be good, it seems
  • Couple sleeping in the same bed

    Photo Source: huffingtonpost.com

    Many married couples share a bed together, as sleeping together intensifies intimacy and builds closeness. A couple sleeping in separate beds might raise a few eyebrows, in fact.

    “Weirdly enough, at a certain age, people do start to talk about separate beds again, and it's an amazingly taboo topic. It's a big no-no in romantic terms,” said Lisa Grunwald, co-author of The Marriage Book with Stephen Adler.

    Isabel Hutton’s advice in 1932 when she wrote the book The Sex Technique in Marriage, however, suggested that newlyweds should first sleep in separate beds. This is so that the couple wouldn’t get too overwhelmed of their new married lives.

    “I think that [Hutton's] advice, which was given early on for honeymoon nights, was based on the assumption that women came into the marriage as virgins and that that first introduction to sex would be just so overwhelming for her that they absolutely needed to stay apart, and help the poor guy keep his excitement to a minimum. We like having one bed, and I think most people do.”

    This was not to say that the authors were completely against the idea of sleeping in separate beds. Adler added that sometimes couples would benefit from getting a little distance from each other, including distance in bed.

    “In a marriage, you're together so much and you see every moment, and every moment is not necessarily that attractive, so there is some point to be made that you have to maintain some mystery,” he said.

    “You shouldn't necessarily always see each other at your worst. Sometimes have some separation... Friendship and closeness pushes you towards seeing everything and being really together, but passion actually pushes you to have some distance, so you need to have a balance between the two,” he added.


    Source:
    May 18, 2015. "A Successful Marriage Doesn't Necessarily Require Sleeping In The Same Bed". huffingtonpost.com

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