Para po sa lahat ng namamalo pa rin ng bata ang message na ito.
Paki-usap naman po...huwag nating papaluin ang mga bata.
Pag pinalo, sisirain po natin ang personalidad ng bata.
Pangalawa, sa pamamalo natin, tinuturuan natin ang bata na mamalo at manakit...kahit pa magpaliwanag tayo kung bakit tayo namamalo.
Sa mga 1-3 years old, ang Language ay very abstract. They need to be exposed to Language for many years, like us, to be able to decode and fully comprehend oral communication. Small children learn instantly with actions and body movements. Kaya kung paanong natutuwa siguro tayo na madali silang matutong magsayaw...ganon din ang bilis na matuto silang mamalo, mangurot o manghampas.
Pasensiya na kung mainit na naman ako sa topic na ito. This week lang, nalaman ko na may kumukurot na classmate sa anak ko. Ang huling nakarating sa akin ay tinulak na raw ang anak ko. Nine years old na ang daughter ko at Grade 3 sa isang all-girls school. Nag-report na kami sa homeroom teacher at sa Guidance Counselor.
Pinalaki namin ng maayos ang daughter namin. She's very kind and caring to her classmates. She will not respond with violence even if she is confronted by violence.
Sana po isipin natin ang epekto ng ginagawa natin, hindi lang sa anak natin, kundi ganoon din sa ibang tao.
Kung mali po ang gagawin natin habang 1-3 years pa lang ang bata, ang kamalian na iyon ay magpapatuloy hanggang sa paglaki niya.
Nakailang ulit na po ako ng pakiusap na ito...na sana ay makatotohanan nating gamitin ang Smart Parenting - magbasa, magresearch, um-attend sa mga seminars, atbpa - nang hindi na natin ulitin ang mga maling practices ng mga nauna sa atin.
Bakit pinalo? Ano ang ginawa ng bata?Tayo po ang matanda, ang magulang. Tayo po ang mas may kakayahan na alamin ang dahilan. Mag-research pa po tayo.
Malalaman po natin na sa stage na 1-3 years old, small children are testing their environment and their newly discovered senses. Pabubulain nila ang laway nila, paglalaruan ang pagkain (tactile), magbabato ng utensils (visual, auditory), magbabasag (auditory)...in short aalamin nila kung ano mangyayari. They're trying to understand their environment...help them, don't hurt them or ruin their notion of things. Huwag maging extreme sa reaction. Iligpit ng tahimik at normal lang kung may nagkalat.
Ang problema ay ang parent na hindi alam ang gagawin. Kung magagalit o maiinis at pagagalitan ang bata o kaya ay papaluin...lalo lang mauulit ang ganitong situation. Malamang sa mga moments pa na gusto ng bata na makuha ang attention ng parent.
This stage usually occurs when the child is about 2 years old...kaya tinatawag ito na
Terrible Two. Kung palapak ang parenting, hindi nag-iisip at gagawin na lang ang iniisip na pinakamadaling reaction...ang mamalo. Asahan natin, kasunod nito ang
Terrorist Three. Kung ayaw pa rin nating subukan ang maging Smart Parent...paghandaan po natin ang patuloy na ganitong situation hangang sa paglaki ng bata.
Sana, kahit kung school age na at apektado na ang ibang mga bata, like classmates ng anak natin... makapagdesisyon na tayo na baguhin na ang ginagawa natin. Hindi na po talaga tama kung apektado na ang iba.
Nasa ibaba po ang isa sa marami ko nang sinulat noon tungkol sa topic na ito. Please stop teaching violence to children now.
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Daddy Jojo
Date: Mon, Oct 16, 2006 at 1:36 PM
Subject: Re: namamalo si yaya, should i let her go?
To: smartparenting <smartparenting@lists.summitmedia.com.ph>
Ang pagpalo po ay child abuse.
Bakit ba pinapalo ang bata? Meron bang matinong dahilan at kailangan mamalo? Dahil ba naranasan din ng namamalo na paluin din noong bata? May kabutihan bang nagawa ang pamamalo?
Bata po iyan, bago pa lang sa mundo natin. Tayong mga matatanda ang dapat magturo kung ano ang tama at mali. Tayo ang nagkukulang ng pagtuturo, na hindi kasi nagbibigay ng panahon kaya hindi alam ng bata kung ano ang tamang asal.
Sorry ha, pero lumalabas ang violence ko sa ganitong topic. Pag ako nakakita ng namamalo ng bata, lalo na dun maliit pa...mamamalo ako ng matanda! At tulad ng ginagawa niya sa bata hindi ko sasabihin o ipapaliwanag kung bakit ako namamalo. Magkita na tayo sa baranggay o sa korte, makulong na ang makulong.
What's worse than the physical pain inflicted here is the Psychological damage to the child.
Let us leave the primitive, brutal, uncivilized, senseless world behind and be smart parents. Here's a quick start:
http://www.joburbank.com/Child_Development_and_Parenting.htm
Excerpt:
Psychosocial Theory – Erickson
Autonomy –vs- Shame and Self-Doubt (18 to 36 mos)
Also known as the terrible twos, this stage of development tests the child's ability to assert and develop his own will. It is as if the child is exploring his social world in an attempt to discover his limits. Parents who encourage their child while setting realistic limits will enable him to explore his environment and to establish a sense of self-confidence. Parents who are overly permissive or are overly harsh or demanding can overwhelm the child and lead him to develop a sense of shame or self-doubt.
Children who develop a healthy sense of their own autonomy are more likely to explore and may be more adaptable. Children who are raised without limits may have difficulty developing an appropriate respect for the consequences of their own actions. Children who grow up in a harsh, critical or overly controlled environment may end up feeling inwardly restrained and may have difficulty experimenting and adapting to new situations.
Initiative –vs- Guilt – (3-6 years)
At this stage of development children begin to develop the ability to make their own decisions. In the process they are also learning to develop a sense of accomplishment in the tasks they undertake. As younger children they may have been coming to the realization that they actually have choices. As they enter this new stage children begin to learn how to make decisions and what social and environmental limits they are subject to. In a rudimentary way they are learning to take into account the basic rules that enter into the decision making process. Children who are encouraged to make their own decisions and who are supported in an appropriate manner may develop a sense of accomplishment. If children are unsupported at this stage or if they are subjected to unrealistic expectations or demands they may react by feeling guilty or shameful.
