When is enough, enough?

[kulotski]

Hi guys. Just want to ask your opinion kung ano na dapat next step ko. I'm pregnant and kami pa rin ng daddy though we're not yet married. We've been together for more than 8 years na (since I was 13 imagine that) pero may onting breaks in between because bigla siyang mananawa. He's always been good with girls. sinulot nga niya pati best friend ko at one point. But still I forgave him. Aside from being kami, we're really the best of friends kaya when okay kami, parang perfect couple talaga. He still had his moments of unfaithfulness until mga 2010. After that, smooth-sailing na kami kaya I was never happier.

Then I got pregnant. I made semi-kwento in the other topic about how he's excited for the baby pero napalayo siya sa akin. There was a time nga na sa sobrang laki ng galit niya, puro mura inabot ko even when all I did was ask him to come see me. Tas eto, he made a new friend na bading around October, and true to his "malandi" nature, pati yun linandi niya. Alam kong medyo weird pero nagalit pa rin ako kasi maski na sabihin nating bading yun, I still don't appreciate him being too friendly. Siyempre parang siya ang labo ko daw kasi harmless naman blablabla. Tas nung time nga na he was so mad at me for no reason kinakatwiran niya nung tinatanong ko kung bakit kinakausap niya yung bading na kesyo buti pa daw yun, hindi siya binubunganga.

And then just this week, I saw through a common facebook friend na naging sila nung bading. GInawa pa talaga nung bading yung profile picture niya na silang dalawa tas ang caption "<3". I told my boyfriend's mom about it, tas sabi niya, kinalikot nga daw niya cellphone ng anak niya recently and found sweet messages between him and the gay. And dahil mahal ako ng mom, kinuha daw niya number tas inaway daw niya ng sobra. Etong boyfriend ko nagalit naman daw kasi nangingialam nanay niya.

So I confronted my boyfriend about it, hindi naman niya dineny. Pero tapos na daw and he's sorry and it was just for fun lang daw. "Tinarantado" lang daw niya, tanungin ko pa daw mga kaibigan niya. Siyempre ako, that can't be the end of it lang; sobrang lala nung ginawa niya this time. I'm not a homophobe by any means pero being cheated on with a gay person is really really insulting. We have common friends pa who apparently know about the ordeal so how does that make me look di ba. Malamang pinagtawanan or kinaawan pa ko ng mga yun.

I'm really really really hurt and angry. How could he do this to me when I'm pregnant. I told him we're basically over kasi I'm sick of being a doormat for so long. He says he wants to make up, pero I really really don't see it. I told him it's about time he allowed himself to look like the fool for once at virtually magmakaawa sakin. Siya pa yung magsungit kasi kung makapagsalita daw ako sa kanya parang ako nagpapakain. And I'm being selfish daw kasi I'm depriving our son of a family. And he's trying his best daw to make up. Granted, he's being really nice lately pero I seriously don't think that's enough to make up for all the pain I went through.

What should I do? Should I give him another chance? Sorry ang haba.

[Mommy France]

We all have our limitations and it seems may problem talaga yung partner mo.
You can  do what you think is right pero make sure na kahit anong magiging kahihinatnan ng decision mo, kaya mong panindigan.

Kung ako na situation mo, I will only accept him kapag he proves he deserves my love and my son.
I won't make myself available for him anymore which i think you did kasi magkaibigan kayo ang napaka-convenient ng mga ginagawa niya dahil konting sorry eh andyan ka na ulit.

Wag kang papadala kapag binabato niya sayo yung mga pagkakamali na you're the one depriving your child a family. Siya naman yung nagloko. Actions and consequences.

The same for you. If you accept him, dapat ready ka for the worst. If you can't take another of this, then this last incident is enough already.

[borntrippy]

hi mommy kulotski -  the truth is ikaw lang makakaalam kung enough na talaga. from the ''outsider'' point of view a lot of people would think na deal breaker na ang pagkakaroon ng gay relationship, pero sa totoo is you set your own limits. ang isipin mo na lang is you need to think about baby also. he needs to grow up in a loving and stable environment and kung hindi mo pa siya ma forgive or hindi pa niya gusto magbago, wag niyo muna pilitin kasi that will result in a very stressful environment for the baby. malapit ka na mommy just focus these next few weeks on yourself and baby hayaan mo muna si daddy magtanda

[kulotski]

Thanks Mommy France and borntrippy. Grabe talaga, I still can't believe he'd go that far. We talked today kasi it's my mom's birthday and since I haven't told her yet about what happened, ininvite siya. Sinasabi lang niya na he's sorry pero tapos na daw yun nung December pa. Sarap sirain ng mukha niya e.

I feel bad for the gay person though. S/he (IT) goes to my brother's school kasi, and since my brother and I are pretty close, I told him about what happened. He's beyond pissed. Kanina nga muntikan din niyang bugbugin si baby daddy if it weren't for me calming him down.

Hay pag-ibig.

[angelicanery]

grabe naman yun hindi ka na niya ginalang. naku mommy dapat ikaw ang hinahabol hindi ikaw ang naghahabol. true nga na kaylangan ni baby ng daddy pero kung yung daddy naman eh hindi responsable at lage lang kayong magaaway eh wala din. panget din yung environment na lalakihan ng anak nyo. pero na sa sayo pa din ang desisyon, opinyon ko lang yan.

[Mommy France]

You should tell your parents... not exactly detailed pero don't try to get an impression na everything is OK kung hindi naman. Mas malalaman mo kasi na yung support na kailangan mo eh hindi lang sa partner mo makukuha.

[borntrippy]

agree with mommy france - you have family and friends who truly love and respect you na hindi ka kailangan naghahabol ng commitment or trust. spend some time first with them and find your worth.

[kulotski]

Thanks everyone. Alam na ng families and friends namin na on-the-rocks kami and everyone's trying to cheer me up. I'm feeling a tiny bit better na. Pray lang ako kay God to give me the strength to get over what happened and make the rest of my pregnancy stress-free para kay baby. Parang pareho kaming aburido e, lahat ng tao nagsasabi ang baba na daw ng tiyan ko. Sana wag mauna si baby sa EDD!

[angelicanery]

kelan ba due date mo? hehe..

[kulotski]

March 8 pa dapat angelicanery. Waaah wag sana mapaaga!

[Mommyjazz]

Pray lang ako kay God to give me the strength to get over what happened and make the rest of my pregnancy stress-free para kay baby.

You can say this prayer from the book Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian about your partner's sexuality
http://andsheprays.blogspot.com/2007/09/day-four-his-sexuality.html

Other prayers are mentioned here:
http://marcielynns.wordpress.com/2009/06/10/power-of-a-praying-wife-by-stormie-omartian/

[kulotski]

Thanks Mommyjazz[/b!]

[mariann]

it's a big "eeewww" for me!  if i were in your shoes, that would be the end of our relationship.  but of course, we have different perspectives, sis.
 
for me, mas matatanggap ko pa kung ang third party ay babae, huwag lang lalaki.  it's a big insult for me. i have best friends who are gays and i like being around with them.  but for my hubby to have a relationship with a gay?!  yuck?!  huwag siyang pakita sa akin!

[kulotski]

I know sis mariann! Sobrang kadiri talaga. Sinasabi niya na the most he went was text lang daw, di daw niya maaatim na itake further pa. Pero di ba, how do I know he's telling the truth? Sobrang kinikilabutan ako just thinking about it.

[angelicanery]

goodluck mommy @kulotski!