• What to Do When Your Child Makes Up a Story About Absentee Father

    Find out why kids make up stories about absentee parents and how you can deal with this situation as a single parent.
    by Rob Del Rosario .
  • boyA 6-year-old’s story
    This is a true story, and so naturally the names have been changed. Six-year-old Ashley, raised solely by her mother, a finance executive, declared to whole first grade classroom on “family introduction” day that: “My Mommy manages a big bank, and my Daddy…” she stopped to inhale, “My Daddy is a scientist who works for Barbie!”

    An amusing antic to most of us that would garner a chuckle at Sunday brunch may be a little more serious for a child with a single parent. Speaking with Dr. Reinald F.J.T. Castaneda, a psychiatrist, he notes that these events occur with countless causes based on the type of society the child is exposed to, as well as its general belief system, level of understanding and cognitive sophistication.

    In other words, a child may be trying to keep up with his or her peers. This does not denote any level of insecurity, or lack of care in the part of the single mother but may indicate that there may be a lack of open communication between mother and child about his or her father.


    The challenges of being a single parent
    As with our culture, even if it has evolved as a modern society, some still see being a single parent as a crutch of sorts, which is never actually the case unless neglect is a factor. There are many successful and confident adults raised by one parent, notably U.S. President Barack Obama, whose parents were divorced, and former U.S. president Bill Clinton, whose father died in a car accident before he was born. If you want to hit closer to home, note that Manny Pacquiao was raised by “Aling Dionisia” since his parents were separated when he was in sixth grade. Add actor Tom Cruise to the list as well.  
     
    My sister-in-law Justin Ahorro, a graduating nursing student, had a son at 18. Things did not work out between her and her ex, and thus had said this about her now 4-year-old son Seth’s father: “I told my son that mommy and daddy are both good things like oil and water, but they can’t mix. I maintain a casual relationship with his dad, but I don’t see him a lot, but I tell Seth that he can see him anytime, so I never have a problem with him and school”.

     

    Click here to learn more about the possible triggers and what you can do about it.

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