• 5 Reasons Why It's Important for Kids to Bond with their Grandparents

    They have wisdom to pass on, values and beliefs to share, skills to teach and a culture to honor.
    by Samantha Catabas Manuel .
  • grandparent and little girl

    Photo from huffingtonpost.com

    I have always shared a strong, intimate relationship with my parents growing up.  But when I started to pursue a career, got married, and had my own family, it became quite a challenge for me to spend quality time with them. That is why when I finally became a mom, I found the perfect reason in my child to renew that bond and keep in touch with them.  

    It felt great to see them transform from simply being my parents to loving grandparents to my child.  More importantly, I find joy in knowing that the people who matter most in my life are also the same persons who would be there for my children. 

    Most of us believe that grandparents are really good at spoiling their “apos” as I have witnessed.  But beyond that they are an important part of our children’s life.   

    Dr. Lillian Carson, D.S.W., L.C.S.W. Author of the Parents' Choice Award Winner THE ESSENTIAL GRANDPARENT: A Guide to Making A Difference, stated that effective grandparents have great power to change lives. They have wisdom to pass on, values and beliefs to share, skills to teach and a culture to honor.
     

    Here are 5 reasons why it is important for our children to grow in their relationship with their grandparents: 

    1. Grandparents teach important life lessons. 
    Given their wealth of knowledge and years of experience, grandparents normally share a lot of stories from their own lives.  This could be a way for our children to be connected to their family’s past and appreciate how simple life used to be.  Through this, our children will also have the opportunity to learn more about family traditions and history which will give them a strong sense of family identity.


    2. It creates an enriching bond between the grandparents, the parents, and the grandchildren.  
    Having a positive relationship with their grandchildren gives grandparents a sense of fulfillment and purpose as they age.  Being able to care for their grandchildren gives their lives meaning at a time when they feel like they have nothing more to contribute in society.

    For the parents, having the support of grandparents will make you even closer.  It will strengthen and even renew your ties with your own parents and even in-laws.

    Your own children will benefit as well from having a wide circle of adults who can shower them with love, care, and attention.  It gives them a sense of security to know that there are people they can depend on beyond their parents.


    3. Grandparents are a major source of comfort in times of family conflict.
    They can provide refuge and comfort in times when parents encounter difficulties in their married life.  That is why it is important for grandparents to stay neutral as much as possible and avoid getting caught up in taking sides.  Grandchildren will benefit from the stability they can offer and act as a surrogate when one parent cannot fulfill such a role.


    4. Grandparents are the most trusted and best support-system for parents. 
    It is often a challenge for parents to balance their work and family commitments.  That is why grandparents also play an important role in helping parents manage their time, priorities and even stress associated with trying to establish work-life balance.  Grandparents also allow parents to have a break to enjoy a few moments of “couple-time” and even “me-time”.

    However, be sure to have an open communication with the grandparents regarding setting the right expectations which should be consistent with your own parenting practice especially when you have to leave the kids to them.


    5. Our children feel “special” and “pampered” with their grandparents.  
    We probably often think that grandparents have the tendency to “spoil” their grandchildren.  At this point in their lives, grandparents can simply enjoy their grandchildren without the pressure of responsibilities.  That is why they can afford to just pamper them, give them undivided time and attention, and make them feel special.  Children think it’s fun to be with “Lolo” and “Lola” because there are lesser restrictions and more lenient rules.   

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    Related: 8 Signs Your Child is "Laki sa Lola"

    Giving our kids a few moments of freedom with their grandparents can also contribute to their emotional well-being.  It allows them time to have fun with other adults and be themselves beyond the protective watch of their parents.  Occasionally, this can be a welcome treat for our kids but it should still have certain limitations. 
     
    Not many kids are given the opportunity to bond with their grandparents.  Some may have lost them at an early stage, some may have never even met them, or for some, perhaps they just did not have the opportunity to be with them given their present family situations.  That is why for those who are blessed with their grandparents, let us make the most of this special opportunity to enjoy their presence in our lives. 
     
    References:
    “The Essential Grandparent: A Guide to Making a Difference,” (essentialgrandparent.com)
    “The Role of Grandparents” (olderiswiser.com)

    5 Reasons Why It is Important for Kids to Bond with their Grandparents

    BY: Samantha Catabas Manuel

     

    I have always shared a strong, intimate relationship with my parents growing up.  But when I started to pursue a career, got married, and had my own family, it became quite a challenge for me to spend quality time with them. That is why when I finally became a mom, my child gives me the perfect reason to make extra effort to renew that bond and keep in touch with them.  

     

    It felt great to see them transform from simply being my parents to loving grandparents to my child.  More importantly, I find joy in knowing that the people who matter most in my life are also the same persons who would be there for my children. 

     

    Most of us believe that grandparents are really good at spoiling their “apos” as I have witnessed.  But beyond that they are an important part of our children’s life.    

    Dr. Lillian Carson, D.S.W., L.C.S.W. Author of the Parents' Choice Award Winner THE ESSENTIAL GRANDPARENT: A Guide to Making A Difference, stated that effective grandparents have great power to change lives. They have wisdom to pass on, values and beliefs to share, skills to teach and a culture to honor.

    Here are 5 reasons why it is important for our children to grow in their relationship with their grandparents: 

     

    1.       Grandparents teach important life lessons.  Given their wealth of knowledge and years of experience, grandparents normally share a lot of stories from their own lives.  This could be a way for our children to be connected to their family’s past and appreciate how simple life used to be.  Through this, our children will also have the opportunity to learn more about family traditions and history which will give them a strong sense of family identity.

    ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

     

    2.       Creates an enriching bond between the grandparents, the parents, and the grandchildren.   Having a positive relationship with their grandchildren gives grandparents a sense of fulfillment and purpose as they age.  Being able to care for their grandchildren gives their lives meaning at a time when they feel like they have nothing more to contribute in society. 

     

    For the parents, having the support of grandparents will make you even closer.  It will strengthen and even renew your ties with your own parents and even in-laws. 

     

    Your own children will benefit as well from having a wide circle of adults who can shower them with love, care, and attention.  It gives them a sense of security to know that there are people they can depend on beyond their parents. 

     

    3.       Grandparents are a major source of comfort in times of family conflict. They can provide refuge and comfort in times when parents encounter difficulties in their married life.  That is why it is important for grandparents to stay neutral as much as possible and avoid getting caught up in taking sides.  Grandchildren will benefit from the stability they can offer and act as a surrogate when one parent cannot fulfill such a role.

     

    4.    Grandparents are the most trusted and best support-system for parents.  It is often a challenge for parents to balance their work and family commitments.  That is why grandparents also play an important role in helping parents manage their time, priorities and even stress associated with trying to establish work-life balance.  Grandparents also allow parents to have a break to enjoy a few moments of “couple-time” and even “me-time”. 

     

    However, be sure to have an open communication with the grandparents regarding setting the right expectations which should be consistent with your own parenting practice especially when you have to leave the kids to them. 

     

    5.    Our children feel “special” and “pampered” with their Grandparents.   We probably often think that grandparents have the tendency to “spoil” their grandchildren.  At this point in their lives, grandparents can simply enjoy their grandchildren without the pressure of responsibilities.  That is why they can afford to just pamper them, give them undivided time and attention, and make them feel special.  Children think it’s fun to be with “Lolo” and “Lola” because there are lesser restrictions and more lenient rules.     

     

    Giving our kids a few moments of freedom with their grandparents can also contribute to their emotional well-being.  It allows them time to have fun with other adults and be themselves beyond the protective watch of their parents.  Occasionally, this can be a welcome treat for our kids but it should still have certain limitations.   

    ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

     

    Not many kids are given the opportunity to bond with their grandparents.  Some may have lost them at an early stage, some may have never even met them, or for some, perhaps they just did not have the opportunity to be with them given their present family situations.  That is why for those who are blessed with their grandparents, let us make the most of this special opportunity to enjoy their presence in our lives. 

     

    References:

    “The Essential Grandparent: A Guide to Making a Difference,” (essentialgrandparent.com)

    “The Role of Grandparents” (olderiswiser.com)

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