• bossyEach child’s personality is unique. Now imagine putting together 20 or so little kids with different backgrounds and upbringing in a classroom … and you’re sure to end up with more fireworks than New Year’s Eve.

    One of the common reasons why kids fight is when one tries to order another around. If your child comes to you and says that her classmate is bossing her around, here’s what you should do:  

    Get the facts first
    Ask your child to relay to you why she feels this way. Ask her to be specific, without putting wordas into her mouth. Some children are made to pick up a classmate’s things, buy him food or copy notes for him. Hold your comments while your child speaks, as this would encourage openness and trust. Clarify if needed and validate the details of the story, but never jump into conclusions or give judgment immediately.

    Ask how she feels
    Ask your child how she feels about the incident. This would help you assess how affected you child is.  If she cannot name her feelings, be of help by supplying words like “Are you mad, irritated, annoyed about it?”  This would help her develop insight, self-awareness and ability to handle these kinds of situations.

    Speak with the teacher or the counselor
    The teacher or the counselor is the best authority in school to handle this kind of situation, since she would be aware of the daily occurrences in the classroom and would know the students under her class. Schedule an appointment or correspond by a written letter with her. In your communication, ask the teacher how the other child can be helped while limiting your judgment towards him. Note, too, that it’s not a good idea to deal directly with the other child, as this may create more problems later. This matter should be handled by the school authorities. You as a parent can work with the counselor and teacher in developing interventions to help your child both in school and at home.  

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