Ahhh, childhood. The good ol' days when you had zero things to worry about. No bills to pay, no work to do, no annoying people to deal with. But look at you now; you have your own little beings to take care of. Sweet.
Do you remember when being forced to eat your veggies was probably the biggest stress of your life... and maybe the things your parents used to threaten you with when you were being naughty. It wasn't funny at the time, but looking back, it's all so silly!
Are you guilty of making the same threats to your child now. Here are five parental threats every Pinoy kid has heard.
1. "Kukunin ka ngguard!"
When you're being rowdy or acting like a spoiled brat, your parents' go-to threat is the guard nearby. Poor guards, they're accused of being scary when all they're trying to do is protect people.
2. "ISA! DALAWA! ..." A classic. When you're called for dinner or your mom is telling you to get something from her purse but you don't want to listen, she suddenly turns into a ticking time bomb that's going to go off after "tatlo!" Be afraid.
3. "May lalabas na pari diyan." Referring to the open wound that you don't want your parents to touch. Were we stupid little kids? How is that even physically possible? And why a priest? Other variations include a train coming out from your wound? Why?
This is usually said when you want a toy and your parents don't want to buy it for you; so you decide to throw a tantrum and start a planking protest on the floor. It may or may not have worked, but one thing's for sure: Your parents would never leave you there... not for real, at least.
5. "Sige ka, hindi ka na lalaki niyan." Because as a kid, nap time in the afternoon was boring and all you wanted to do was play. So unless you wanted to stay four-feet short forever, you weren't skipping nap time. Or you pretend to be asleep, anyway.
Illustration and GIF courtesy of SPOT.ph
This story originally appeared on SPOT.ph. You can read the rest of the list here.