Hello. You are writing this several years backward. I am hoping that when you stumble upon this and take a look at the past, you are already the successful self you could only hope to be once. By success, I don’t mean having all the material things you wished for (although it wouldn’t hurt to already have your own house by then), I mean success in such a way that you are contented, fulfilled, and a way better person than you are during my time.
I hope you are happier. I hope, by now, you have already done everything you've wanted and more. I hope you do not have regrets. I hope you have already finished what I am just about to start and that you are doing well. I wish you are in a good state, emotionally, physically (if you have already quit smoking, congratulations!), spiritually (never forget Him ever again), and mentally (by this, I mean I wish you peace of mind). I also hope your heart has completely healed and has already found the one worth giving itself again to.
But when you look back, it is still okay to relive all the pain you have experienced, not to cauterize old wounds, fan old flames, and hurt yourself again in the process. It is to remind you that you were once at this lowest pit and you made it out. To remind you of everything you had to go through in what could be one of your darkest hours (coming second to losing Mom) and the things you learned from it that have made you who you are when you read this.
Do not let anger and resentment get to you. And I wish you have already found it in your heart to forgive those who have wronged you. You do not want to hold grudges, no matter how badly you were treated. It is okay to forgive because only then can you—no, we—free ourselves and our hearts from pain.
As you are writing this, remember that you are slowly trying to rebuild your self for your future. You are still a work-in-progress. You do not know how long and how painful the process is going to be, but you do know that beautiful things take time because they want you to be ready for all the happiness your heart can contain. You do not want to be overwhelmed and mess it up again. You do not want to waste time with wrongs again; you want to be careful not to make the same mistakes. More importantly, you want to be happy and contented within. Somebody once told you that you cannot make other people happy if you are not happy with yourself. It is regretfully, true.
So, wait for me, okay? I sure cannot wait to see you, to be YOU. I hope you are ready for me.