With social media part and parcel of our daily routine, it is so easy to share our lives with friends and family. Of course, we post a lot about our children -- their daily activities, a funny thing that happened during potty training, and endless cute photos and videos. But can it be too much?
The millennial mom sometimes gets criticized for “oversharenting,” that is, sharing too much information about her children on social media. But, in this generation of updates and uploads, where do we draw the line when it comes to posting in excess?
We asked moms why they post about their kids and whether they think they overshare or not. Here’s what some of them have to say:
1.We post because it’s a way to cherish the little moments and express our happiness. Most of the moms we’ve talked to share stuff on social media simply because they’re happy. “I’d rather post about the good stuff—my kids—than the bad stuff like traffic, pollution, stress, etc.,” says mom Em Matias-Sulit. “Our kids are a great reminder of the blessings we have. Moms face many challenges every day, and it’s nice to see moms focus on the positive things in life.”
Moms Alfie Saniel and Louise Dalangin share the same thoughts. “Life of a working mom is very tiring, and sharing photos of my baby is a way for me to combat stress,” says Alfie. “Sharing my baby’s photos is my way of coping and forgetting about my other issues in life. He makes me so happy that I forget everything even for a while,” Louise adds.
2.Your (social media) wall, your choice. Other moms say that you shouldn’t worry about how other people are going to react to your posts. “If it makes you feel good, do it!” urges Dedet Reyes Panabi. “Parenting is hard. We get our good vibes where we can.”
Besides, if people think you overshare, you can always choose to stop seeing the posts. “I simply just unfollow friends if they overshare,” says mom Maita de Jesus. “Okay lang naman to post stuff about your kids as long as it’s not humble bragging or a by the minute account of stuff.”
3.We post milestones because we are naturally proud of our children. Speaking of “humblebrag,” some people think that parents overshare just to have a chance to do so, but that is not the case. “Before, I used to post almost everything on Facebook, but now I do my best to filter them and only post my daughter’s major achievements,” says Xy Eugenio, a mom of one. “I’m not competitive—I just want to share my overflowing happiness.”
Mom Anne Tiangco says that she posts about her children’s milestones and good deeds because social media helps capture moments. She and her family can look back on it someday, and she knows it will bring smiles to their faces. “All parents are proud of their children and would have the natural tendency to share,” she says. “There is always the unfollow button if you feel that there is oversharing.”
4.Posts get annoying only when parents get sanctimonious about how they raise their kids. Posting about your kids on social media seems like a natural thing to do, and parents even revel in the fact that they have a circle of friends who can relate to their experiences. However, some get exasperated with parents who act superior to their parenting style. “Some parents tend to judge the way you raise your child, and they're not afraid of calling you out, especially if it is different from their beliefs," Trixie Delmendo points out. "For example, they’ll think you aren’t a good mom if you don’t feed your child organic food, which is something they believe in.”
5.Oversharing happens when you compromise the security of your child. “It’s the responsibility of parents to know whether they are over sharing or not,” says mom Kristine Revil. “If it comes to the point that what you are sharing is offensive, or threatening the child’s safety, then that’s the only time you can really call it ‘oversharing.’”
Tisha Alvarez, former editor-in-chief of Good Housekeeping Philippines, agrees. “I post about my son, but I don’t post his name for security purposes. I’m not going to judge other parents for posting anything and everything --who’s to say how much is too much? Often, I’m more concerned about kids’ privacy than annoyed by whatever is posted.”To be safe, the moms advise refraining from posting personal information like your child's full name, birthday, and locations, as well as sensitive photos like private parts and nudity. For ways to protect your child, click here.
6.Posting photos of your children are okay, but make sure you get their permission, too. There will come a time when your children will finally care about whatever it is that you’re posting when it concerns them. If this happens, don’t forget to consult them because you have to respect their privacy, too. “I have Facebook posts that are set to ‘Only Me’ or selected people like close relatives,” says mom Laarni T. “I respect my child’s privacy; she is an individual, too.”
Your wall is your own. As long as you're aware of all the implications of posting (such as privacy concerns or oversharing), who is to stop you from doing whatever you like. And if other people don't like it, remember: There's always the 'unfollow' option.