Every day, moms give so much of themselves for their family. So much of their love, effort and time are given to the people they love. And sometimes, offhanded comments and remarks from relatives and friends, though often with good intention, undermines what they've done and their very identity. Whenever you hear these, remember the wise words these fellow parents have to say:
1. Dad: “Come on, kids, let’s all help Mom clean up!”
“Cleaning — at any level in our home — should never be about “helping” me. Cleaning is not just my responsibility because I happen to be the mother.” ---Chaunie Brusie, writer for Babble
2. Stranger to breastfeeding mom: “Ugh! In public, really?”
“You should not ever feel shamed, belittled, embarrassed or wrong for feeding your baby the way nature intended. Breasts were made to sustain your baby's life before they were made to bring pleasure to any other man, woman, partner or spouse. There is nothing weird about this and there's no difference in me feeding my baby with my breast than you feeding yourself with a spoon.” --Ashley Kaidel (read her story here)
3. Friend: “Masi-CS ka na niyan sa laki mo!”
“Commenting on a woman's weight, let alone someone pregnant, is considered bad manners. Tell her your doctor says your baby is doing okay and thank her for the concern.” --Rachel Perez, writer for SmartParenting.com.ph
4. Friend to a mom going through postpartum depression: “Why are you sad? You're being too negative.”
This was said to SP mom Rai Raiwhen she was going through a tough time after giving birth. The hardest part of suffering postpartum depression, she shared, was finding support, understanding, and care from the people around her.
“For all the new moms experiencing low mood or anxiety, please seek help and talk about your feelings. You are not alone. You are not a bad mother.” --Kim Chen, husband who lost the mother of his child to PPD (read his story here)
5. A defiant child: “No, mama! You're wrong!”
“I know when my children’s reasoning crosses the line between standing up for themselves or being bastos. I have to be aware of how I respond to them. First, calm down and then explain that they can tell me their thoughts without being rude or disrespectful,” --Sue Espiritu, mom-of-two
6. Relatives giving unsolicited advice: “Papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako”
“Don’t feel pressured to follow everything they say just to be in their good graces. Follow your own instincts. If magtampo sila, lilipas rin naman yun.” --Reina, SP Mom
7. Mother-in-law: “Buti pa si Anne ang payat. Bakit hindi ka ganun?”
“Disarm your MIL by asking her what she would do if she were in your place!” --Emily Abrera, mother-in-law to TV host Suzi Entrata-Abrera (read more of her MIL advice here)
8. Friend: “Now, who does your baby look like? Because she looks nothing like you.”
“I certainly don't think my friend was intentionally trying to hurt my feelings. But, if I'm being honest, she did. It was a lesson to me, at the very least, to pipe down with the 'who he/she looks like' nonsense when talking to parents.” --Nicole Fabian-Weber, writer for What To Expect
9. Husband to pregnant wife: “Nag-iinarte ka lang.”
This is what Shey Biboso Vitug's husband told her when she asked him to take a leave from work because she suspected she was in labor. Dads, there's a lesson here. Your wife is about to give birth to a human being she carried for nine months. She can do anything she wants at this point. 10. To a parent of a special needs child: “Sayang.”
“It is like telling me that he is not good enough and I worry that I’m not doing enough,” Leira, mom to Joshwa (age 14 with Autism), shared with SmartParenting.com.ph. “I want people to know that her special character is a gift, although wrapped in a different package,” added Vanessa, mom to Sophie (age 5 with Cockayne Syndrome).
Have anything to add? Let us know at the comments below!