You’re ready. He’s not.He’s ready, you’re not. You’re both ready, your budget is not. For many aspiring parents planning to get pregnant, the persistent ticking of a biological clock does not always fall in line with their partner’s plans and preparations. Deciding when to start trying to have a baby or to initiate adoption proceedings leaves many couples on different sides of a decisive boundary lines. Parents in waiting contemplate how to pinpoint that they’re ready for a child, or if a bank balance should drive a conception cycle. Should the size of your home or office dictate how many children you should have? If you’ve been waiting for the “perfect time,” to have more money, or for your career to take off before having a child, you’re not alone. According to U.S. Census Bureau statistics collected in 2005, the average age that people are becoming first-time parents is steadily trending upward as the average number of children in a family is slowly sliding downward. Although your or your partner’s head may be saying, “Wait!”, your biological clock might have a different opinion. Sorting out your reasons for waiting or not, if your partner is ready, and just what your biological clock is saying will be beneficial regardless of how long the road to parenthood you’re traveling on is.
Telling the time
For some, a biological clock provides the gentle nudge to open dialogue and thoughts about becoming a parent. Thoughts of the number of children to have, the names you want to give them, and speculating whom they might take after are often fueled by the subtle ticking of a biological clock.
For others, a biological alarm clock is a jarring realization of the desire to have a child and raise a family. “Before exploring conceiving or adopting, a couple needs to understand what they want to achieve,” says licensed family and marriage therapist Andy Atwood of Michigan.
Most hopeful parents want to celebrate their commitment to each other and share in the joys and occasional frustrations of raising a child. Others want to pour love and affection into an extension of themselves or their beloved partner. “There are instances when couples believe having a child will ‘save’ their relationship, or fill a void in their lives,” cautions Atwood. Interpreting your needs and expectations will help you tell time on your biological clock. Planning to get pregnant involves open communication and honesty.