You’ve counted the days. Your menstruation is delayed. You’ve taken the test, and – voila – two colored lines. You’re pregnant. Hooray!
If you’re like many of us, you can’t wait to tell the world. Call the parents. Text the in-laws. Post on Facebook.
But is it really a good idea to tell the whole world about your pregnancy the very minute you find out about it? Or should you wait for a few days, a few weeks, or a few months before making the big announcement?
The truth is, the right time to tell varies from family to family. There are pros and cons to every kind of timing. There are no fixed answers; the decision is solely yours and your husband’s. But here are the pros and cons to help you decide:
Telling Early If you and your husband decide to announce your pregnancy while you are still in your first trimester,
PROS: • You get to release some of the excitement from your system. • People can be more understanding of your pregnancy symptoms. • Your boss and your office can prepare better for your impending maternity leave.
CONS: • You may get overwhelmed with unsolicited advice • In the unfortunate event that you miscarry, or your pregnancy test turns out to be a false positive, you’ll need to retract the news.
In many cases, it’s good to announce a pregnancy early. Your boss, certainly, will appreciate an early announcement rather than a late one. You parents may not understand either, if you only tell them about your pregnancy in your fourth month.
If you have severe symptoms and are constantly suffering from nausea, headaches, and sleepiness, it may be good to let the people around you understand why, rather than just let them think you’re incompetent, lazy, or excessively attention-seeking.
Telling Late If you decide to defer your pregnancy announcement until after you enter your second trimester,
PROS: • The chances are much smaller that you will miscarry after the announcement has been made.
CONS: • You’ll have to keep all that excitement all to yourself for a couple of months. • If you miscarry, you will have to lump together three huge pieces of news on your employer at the same time: (1) that you had been pregnant, (2) that you had lost the baby, and (3) that you will have to suddenly go on a sixty-day maternity leave with hardly any advance notice.
Although the advantages of waiting until the second trimester before announcing your pregnancy to the world may seem few, you may still prefer this option if your risk of miscarriage is high.
After the first trimester, when your risk of miscarriage has shrunk from 20% to just 5%, you may be more comfortable receiving all those warm congratulations.
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Of course, as we’ve said before, these are not hard-and-fast rules. Pregnancy is an intensely personal event, and the decision of when to announce it is highly personal as well.
In any case, the pregnancy will announce itself soon enough. Before that day comes and you receive everyone’s congratulations, receive ours: Congratulations on your pregnancy! May blessings pour upon you and your new baby!