Losing a baby is one of the most painful experiences a mom will ever go through. Many try to find ways to cope and find closure. For 31-year-old Joan Bremer, she found a way that wasn't only beautiful but meaningful for her.
Joan noticed something was wrong when she started bleeding during her seventh week of pregnancy. After seeing her doctor and an excruciating two days of waiting for blood test results, she found that she was miscarrying.
“When I got the phone call I was at work, and I just ended up walking out in the middle of the day. It was just devastating because for a few days I had hope,” she told Babble.
For the next few days, she stayed at home to recover from her miscarriage. This was also when she first started contemplating on ways to commemorate her lost child.
“It took about three days to recover, and during that time I thought of getting a tattoo to mark this life experience,” Joan told TODAY Parents. Joan was already a proud owner of several tattoos, including one she had gotten with her husband, so this felt like the right decision for her.
“For me, all the tattoos I have signify something, and even though this was a painful time, I still wanted to be able to remember it in some way," she said. “I talked to my husband and we said we would wait a few days to make sure it wasn’t an emotional decision, so I did, but I still knew I wanted it done.”
Joan decided on a simple but elegant tattoo of a woman drawn in curving lines with her heart connected to another one in her belly. After getting the design inked, she posted a photo of it on Imgur with the caption, “And I got this to remember the baby that wasn't meant to be.”
Unsurprisingly, it touched the hearts of many and went viral. One of the top comments on the post reads, “Small, artistic, meaningful.” Many sympathized, like one who commented, “What an exquisitely beautiful tattoo. I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sorry for all parents who go through this. My heart is with you.” Some were also comforting: “Just remember, with some things, there is never getting over it, but there is moving on. I wish you the best of luck.”
Through all the pain she endured, Joan shares that opening up about the miscarriage helped her out a lot and it’s something parents going through the same situation should consider doing, too. “For me, it was healing to be able to speak about it,” she said. “That was one of my motivations for getting the tattoo in the first place — I really think it's healing to be able to talk about it.”