Men Get Depressed Too! McCoy De Leon Shares, 'Bigla Nalang Ako Yuyuko, Naiiyak, At Malapit Nang Sumuko'Here's what we can learn from McCoy de Leon and Elisse Joson on how to care for a loved one who has depression.by Judy Santiago Aladin .
Often, men with depression aren't diagnosed for several reasons, according to Mayoclinic. Some of them downplay the signs and symptoms, while others are not open to talk about it.
Actor and Hashtag member McCoy de Leon recently revealed that he was diagnosed with depression in 2020.
In an Instagram post, he shared that a photo of him and partner Elisse Joson in their new film Habangbuhay made him remember his depressive episodes.
"Masyadong naging personal itong pelikula na to sa akin dahil... Naalala ko nung tinamaan ako ng sakit na hindi ko alam na meron pala ako. Nung taong 2020 na-diagnose ako ng depression. Nakangiti ako pero sa loob ko hindi kinakaya yung mga bagay na pinagdadaanan."
The 27-year-old actor adds, he experienced sleeping problems, sadness, and hopelessness.
"Naalala ko rin naisama ko pa nga sa isang short film kung ano itsura ko nun. Gantong oras din yun 4:40am kaya hindi ko makakalimutan yun hanggang sa inumaga ako at hindi nakatulog. Bigla nalang ako yuyuko, naiiyak at malapit nang sumuko."ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
In the film which will be released in Vivamax, McCoy plays the role of JR, a family houseboy, who grew up with constant sadness in his life.
He fell in love with a girl, played by real-life partner Elisse, who was diagnosed with an illness that make her susceptible to viruses.
He says that the photo he shared on Instagram was the exact scene that reminded him of depression, and added that Elisse was the same person who became his rock and helped him overcome.
"Itong eksena na to ang parehas na parehas ng naramdaman ko nung nararanasan ko na yung sakit na yun. Hindi man parehas ang sakit na meron sa pelikulang ito... Pero parehas na tao ang nasandalan ko noon siya ang naging gamot ko, sinamahan niya ako magpadoktor, binilhan niya ako ng pusa na sinasabing makakatulong daw ito higit sa lahat nilapit niya ako sa Diyos lalo lahat ng way naging lunas sa sakit ko noon. Kaya laking pasasalamat ko sa taong ito.
In the end, he encourages other people who are experiencing the same to never give up.
"Sa lahat ng iba na nakakaranas pa nito laging may rason at wag susuko."
Elisse, recognized her partner's strength, in her comment: "Nagpakalakas ka, kaya din nalagpasan mo yun."
McCoy has a daughter with Elisse named Felize. Felize turned one last April 2022.
They first revealed having a baby during a Pinoy Big Brother guesting in October 31, 2021.CONTINUE READING BELOWRecommended Videos
How to help a partner with depression
From McCoy's experience, he shared ways on how he was able to overcome depression. Some of which are indeed what you can do when it's your partner who is experiencing the symptoms.
Clinical psychologist Adam Borland, PsyD shares tips on how to help your partner who might be having symptoms of depression.
1. Encourage your partner to seek professional help.
Like any other illness, depression is treatable. The first step is to seek the help of an expert, like a psychologist or psychiatrist, so that you can figure out what treatment needs to be done.
2. Work as a team.
It's not easy for men to open up about depression. Make your partner feel that you are his safe space and that you will accompany him throughout the journey.
“We don’t want partners to branch away from one another,” says Dr. Borland. “To avoid this, it’s important to show unconditional support. Express things like, ‘I’m in this with you. You’re not going to scare me. I’m not going to allow you to push me away.’”
3. Practice self-care
People who are suffering from depression tend to neglect habits such as hygiene and health. Make sure that you allow your partner to have time for himself, maybe try a new hobby, get a new pet, or join a new recreational activity. “You need to carve out time for yourself without feeling guilty,” Dr. Borland said.
4. Make them feel seen.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
Remember that depression is not anyone's fault. When your partner is having a bad day, Dr. Borland advises that you respond to him with assertive communication. "Say things like, ‘I see that you’re angry. I see that you’re sad. But remember I’m here whenever you need to talk, and I’m not going anywhere.'"
5. Educate yourself.
The last thing you want to happen is for you to have caregiver's burnout. It would help if you learn more about depression through credible resources, so that you can also care for yourself in the process.
Dads-to-be are prone to having depression too. Read more here.
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