SmartParenting.com.ph got to talk to Alden last October 15, 2021, along with other Summit Media editors during the media briefing for his contract signing with GMA-7. We asked him about dealing with the loss of a parent, how he copes, and a message to others who have the same experience.
Learning how to live with grief
Alden's mom, Rosario Faulkerson, died in 2008 of pneumonia. He admits that even though it has been 13 years since his mom's passing, the grief is still there.
"It's not really okay to lose someone. It's not okay to lose a parent, especially a mom. Napakasakit no'n. There's no really moving forward with that moment, it's really a matter of management," Alden said.
Alden shared his mom's passing felt like losing a part of himself. "Thirteen years na siyang wala but still, I just learned how to manage the emotion. The sadness, the space that was left there...Mahirap siyang pagdaanan kasi magulang 'yan eh, parang nawalan ka ng kalahati ng buhay mo."
Sharing how he is working on recovering from this pain, Alden noted the importance of giving yourself permission to express your sadness.
"It's okay to cry, it's okay to be sad, it's okay to mourn for someone you've lost that's very dear to you but make sure you set a cap for that, 'dapat hanggang dito lang,'" he said.
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Alden says that every time he feels a surge of sadness, he would set a deadline, or a "cap" as he calls it, as to when he can confront his negative emotions. For him, what works is giving himself at least two days when he can let it all out and cry.
"[Kung] malungkot ka, bigyan mo lang sarili mo ng two days. 'Sige umiyak ka dalawang araw, dire-diretso.' Basta make sure after that second day of you mourning, okay ka na then you move forward," Alden narrated.
He says anyone dealing with grief needs to acknowledge these negative emotions, but the balance lies in not letting it consume you.
"Para na rin do'n sa nawala mong mahal sa buhay. You live your life for them because they don't wanna see you mourning, they don't wanna see you broken. You live for them," Alden explains.