There is a saying about marriage by American relationship consultant and author Barbara de Angelis that goes like this:
“The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make – not just on your wedding day, but over and over again — and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.”
Isn't this oh so true? We must always strive to treat our spouses with love — and show them how much we love them, too.
However, most of us would probably agree that the language of love doesn't necessarily use words alone. In fact, author Gary Chapman actually expounds on this in his book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.
The book describes five ways to express and experience love — love languages — namely: gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. To help people discover their love language, Chapman provides a free tool on his website.
While some of us may find it easy to use “words of affirmation” for our spouses, they may not appreciate our verbal displays of affection because their love languages are different.
We asked men and women how they show their partners they love them, and here’s what they had to say:
"I prepare my spouse’s favorite breakfast – danggit and fried rice -- even if I don’t particularly like the smell.” - Karina
“Whenever hubby does something unexpected, say, taking the kids to a park when one throws a tantrum, I “reward” him with an extra-long hug.” - Tesanne
“He loves mixed martial arts, so I try to watch it with him – even if I don’t have a clue what’s going on. I guess he appreciates it, because on rare occasions, he would return the favor by watching a local (read: John Lloyd) movie with me, but not without much prodding, of course.” - Vero
“I never leave home without giving her a hug and a kiss.” - Norman
“I send her an obscene text message while we’re in the same room, just to see her blush. Yeah, I can still make my wife blush!” - James
“On special occasions, I would tape a photo of me and hubby on the bathroom mirror, along with a stick-on note where I list the 3 things I love the most about him.” - Samantha
“When she goes out for dinner and coffee with her best friends, I let her, and I stay home to babysit. That’s when my son and I have our fun, too!” - Arvin
“When she least expects it, I’d drive us to a new restaurant for an impromptu date.” - Mart
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“I once was short on cash and our anniversary was coming up. I ditched the whole idea of buying her a grand gift. Instead, I unearthed our old dictionary at home and, using a highlighter, marked words that describe what she is to me. She thought it was sweet.” - Lawrence
“Instead of texting, I send him an email just to tell him I miss him.” - Peachy
“A relaxing foot rub always relaxes him, so when I’m not too tired myself, I do it for him.” - Rochelle
“Whenever my husband goes on travel for work, I give him a small gift for every day that he has been gone. When the budget is tight, I opt for handwritten love letters instead.” - Maire
“I always say a prayer for my husband when I wake up and before I go to bed. Sometimes, I even pray over him while he’s asleep.” - Joan
"One time, I left my wife a surprise love note in her bag, and she loved it so much. She still keeps it on her desk.” - Marvin
Although it may be challenging to consistently show our love for our better halves, it is still extremely vital that we do so, especially if we want our unions to last.
As Chapman wrote in his book, “Real love” — “This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.”
How do you show your love for your spouse? Let us know by leaving a comment below!
References: http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/21-ways-say-i-love-you-without-saying-word Chapman, Gary. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate