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These 4 Simple Secrets for a Happy Marriage Should Be Our Mantra
  • Photo from stevenaitchison.co.uk

    Every couple who has been married for a long time knows it takes a lot of hard work to make the "happily ever after" promise stay true forever. But we can all agree that the rewards we reap are so worth it. A U.S. statistics show that married people are more financially stable, healthier, physically and emotionally, and have "happier, more stable and more successful kids," says TEDtalk speaker and author Jenna McCarthy.

    And one of its awesome perks, according to McCarthy, married people have more sex than their swinging single friends.
    "We even live longer, which is a pretty compelling argument for marrying someone you like a lot in the first place," she further quips. 

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    McCarthy, who is the author of the book If It Was Easy They'd Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living With and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married, delivered a funny and engaging talk on TED on what really makes marriages work based on the countless of studies devoted to it. The takeaway lessons are surprisingly simple and easy to do.  

    1. Invest in yourself.
    Yes, taking care of yourself--and not just physically--is the first step. Having me-time is about loving yourself. And with self-love comes happiness that you can offer to your marriage. You cannot give what you can't have, so saying goes, and it's true. So don't scrimp on growing as an individual.  

    2. Focus on the positives.
    Make the decision to see the silver lining in every situation. “The happiest couples are the ones who focus on the positives. They find good in every situation," McCarthy says. When you set your mind to see the positive side during the lowest of times, then it could be easier to think of ways to turn it around. Mindset is key.

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    3. Share the responsibility.
    According to one study, wives will find their husbands more attractive if he more willing to do housework (thanks, science, but we kind of knew that already). Men should take note because, as McCarthy explains, “The more attractive she finds [her husband], the more sex they have. The more sex they have, the nicer he is to her. The nicer he is to her, the less she nags him about leaving wet towels on the bed--and ultimately, they live happily ever after,” she explains. It actually makes sense. 

    4. Stop comparing.
    Conflicting studies have shown that merely watching a romantic movie can cause relationship satisfaction to plummet for some couples. But, on the other hand, it can also help improve a couple’s relationship. The difference happens when you become envious of a fictional couple, and you failed to see the little things that probably made the movie romantic. Appreciate what you have and, yes, never stop working and improving. 

    You can watch Jenna McCarthy's TED talk in full here.

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