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Bakit Relate Much Ako Kay LJ Reyes Na Gusto Kong Yakapin At Sabihan, 'You Will Be Okay'
PHOTO BY Instagram/lj_reyes, Unsplash
  • I just finished watching A Far Away Land a couple of days back and marveled at how good Paolo Contis was in the movie, especially in that airport scene. Naiyak pa nga ako.

    Little did I know na mas maiiyak pala ako sa interview ni Boy Abunda with LJ Reyes, Paolo Contis' partner for six years. Habang nanunuod, sabi ko sa sarili ko "Nancy, ikaw ba 'yan?" Sobrang pareho. Sobrang relate.

    Five years ago, I was in the same boat. Gusto ko yakapin si LJ at sabihing, "Been there done that, Sis. You and your children will be okay."

    Losing your pride

    LJ mentioned in her interview that she observed a sudden change in Paolo's behavior. Relate ako dito kasi sa totoo lang, yung ex ko para siyang nasaniban. Biglang madalas na siyang nagagalit at ang daming pinupuna. Nakapagtataka at nakakagulat. "Sino itong kaharap ko?"

    Pero gaya ni LJ, hindi ko ginusto na makipaghiwalay. Hindi ko lang ibinaba ang pride ko — kinalimutan ko ito. Nagmakaawa pa nga ako. But when I asked my ex-husband if he was still willing to fix it, ang sagot niya, "NO."

    Nakakadurog ng puso kasi hindi mo akalain na kaya kang iwan at ang mga anak ninyo. Kung sila six years, kami 22 years. But it is not how long you were together — the pain is the same.

    Know your worth

    Umabot sa point na inisip ko baka kasalanan ko why the marriage was falling apart. A friend told me I was going through "verbal abuse." Another friend, a psychologist, told me my ex was projecting — shifting the blame on me to justify his actions.

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    Hearing these made me feel so much better because the emotional torture stopped. I realized that how he sees me should not be the yardstick of who I really am.

    Hindi naman natin puwede ipilit ang sarili natin sa mga taong ayaw na. Self-preservation and self-worth are important, too. That is not to say the path to recovery will not be painful.

    The stress showed. Kung si LJ ay nalagasan ng kilay, ako nalagasan ng buhok — a bad case of "falling hair." Kahit anong palit ko ng brands ng shampoo na anti-hairfall, walang epekto! Nangayayat ako dahil walang gana kumain. Nangalumata kasi walang tulog. Pumangit pero sandali lang!

    You cannot give up

    At some point, you will realize you need to be physically, mentally, and emotionally strong for yourself and your kids. Matindi ang pagsubok.

    Ang lagi ko biro sa mga co-single mom ko, "Bawal ma-depress. Bawal magkasakit. Bawal maloka." Yes, natutunan ko ang art of being "dedma." Hindi option ang sumuko. There are children who depend on you — and YOU ALONE.

    Sabi nga ni LJ, "Para 'kong naka- auto pilot...'yung pain ko, naisantabi kasi mas nasasaktan ako para sa mga bata."

    Gaya ni Lj at ng maraming mga babae na nakaranas ng ganitong sitwasyon, gusto natin ng isang kumpletong pamilya. Ayokong maranasan ng mga bata ang magkaroon ng "broken family." But the absence of one parent does not make the family "incomplete."

    Kung wala ang mga anak ko, I would not have survived. At talagang masasabi ko na kaya narito pa kami ng mga bata ay dahil sa prayers at tiwala sa Diyos at sa mga nagmamahal na pamilya at kaibigan.

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    Kaya't sa mga gaya ko naka-relate kay LJ Reyes, mahigpit na yakap, solo moms! Kung nakaya ko, kaya n'yo rin. One day you'll see, okay ka na pati ang bata. In fact, you might be MORE OK than the time you were with that person.

    Nancy Galang, M.A., is a single mom to four children, Nicolette, Nastassia, Nadja, and Rocky. She was a college teacher for more than 20 years at Miriam College and worked as an executive producer for ABS-CBN, TV5, and Solar TV. Currently, she is a communication and marketing consultant for one of the local government units in the country. She blogs and vlogs at nancydavidgalang.blogspot.com.

    Want to get something off your chest? Send us an email with the subject "SP submission" to smartparentingsubmissions@gmail.com.

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