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  • Bianca Gonzalez: 'What Has Worked For Us Is Huwag Muna Magpansinan'

    Ibinahagi niya kung paano sila magbudget at kung paano sila mag-resolba ng away.
    by Ana Gonzales .
Bianca Gonzalez: 'What Has Worked For Us Is Huwag Muna Magpansinan'
PHOTO BY Instagram/Bianca Gonzalez
  • Kilala ang TV host, at mommy vlogger na si Bianca Gonzalez, hindi lang sa galing niya bilang host, kundi pati na rin sa kanyang YouTube series na Paano Ba 'To?  Dito kasi ay sinasagot niya, sa pamamagitan ng maiksing interview kasama ang mga experts at kapwa niya artista, ang ilan sa mga mahihirap na tanong tungkol sa adulting, pagpapalaki ng mga bata, anxiety, at marami pang iba.

    READ MORE STORIES FEATURING BIANCA AND HER FAMILY: 

    Kaya naman marami ang humihingi sa kanya ng advice. Kamakailan nga, sa pamamagitan ng isang serye ng mga Instagram stories, sinagot niya ang ilan sa mga relationship questions na madalas itanong ng kanyang mga followers.

    "A lot of you had really good questions about relationships so [I] will try to answer a few," sabi niya. Narito ang ilan sa mga tanong na iyon at ang mga payo ni Bianca.

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    How do you stop an argument [from] turning into a full-blown conflict?

    "After 5 years of marriage, what has worked for us is hindi muna magpansinan," sagot ni Bianca. Ayon sa kanya, sa pagsasama raw nila ng kanyang hubby na si JC Intal, napansin niyang wala silang nareresolba kung parehong mainit ang ulo nila.

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    "Nothing gets resolved when emotions are high," paliwanag niya. "Pareho pa kaming may ego. So we wait for our heads to cool 'till we resolve things," dagdag pa niya. "What it is like is the bell after a round of boxing," biro niya. "Umiinit na ang laban so bell muna at punta muna sa kanya-kanyang corner."

    How do you manage your finances?

    Sabi ni Bianca, isa ito sa madalas na itanong sa kanya. Iba-iba ito sa bawat mag-asawa, ngunit sa kanila, naging epektibo na maghati sila sa bills pero mayroon pa rin silang sariling pera.

    "I have always been particular that I earn my own money," pagbabahagi niya. "Even when we were just going out, I would insist to split the bill. Ever since, my husband knew this!"

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    Kaya naman ngayong mag-asawa na sila, bagaman mayroon silang mga joint accounts, mayroon pa rin silang kani-kaniyang pera. "A bulk of our accounts are joint (for practical and legal reasons), but we both still own our own accounts that we do what we want with," kwento niya.

    "In terms of bills, we split. Whoever has, offers to pay." Dagdag pa ni Bianca, gawin mo kung anong gumagana para sa pagsasama ninyo. "But I do encourage every woman to earn her own money, it need not be "big," just something you earn and is yours."

    Do you resolve an issue within the day or do you try to sleep without resolving it?

    Hindi ba't sabi nila, huwag matulog hanggat hindi nagkakaayos? 'Yan din ang alam nina Bianca at JC. Ngunit ayon sa kanya, iba ang naging epektibo para sa kanilang mag-asawa. "In our case, this advice does not work. Ang sarap kayang matulog! Kung mag-aaway kami, sayang ang time na itutulog sana namin," sabi niya.

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    "Things are resolved much easier when our heads are cool, which is usually the next day after a night's rest. Matutulog naman kami na alam naming mahal namin ang isa't-isa, but talagang nagkakainisan lang minsan, at magkakaayos din naman," dagdag pa niya.

    Do you let yourself have time without each other? If yes, what do you do when that happens?

    "Time apart is essential for us," sabi ni Bianca. "Lalo na nitong quarantine, we realized that as much as time together is precious, time apart is also important."

    Kwento pa niya, magkaiba sila ng careers, interests, at gusto ng kanyang asawa, ngunit pareho sila ng mga values. "We both enjoy time apart because it's our time to do our own thing, our time to breathe," paliwanag niya. "He calls it time to 'reset' and 'recharge.'"

    Payo pa niya, "As a married couple, you may be 'one' but you are still two unique and independent individuals, evolving, growing, and learning."

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    How did you manage to overcome the struggles of having different personalities and careers?

    Ayon kay Bianca, hindi niya nakita bilang isang struggle ang pagkakaiba nilang mag-asawa sa ugali at career. "It's an advantage! Our fields of work are so different from each other and I love learning all about his and hearing his stories and seeing similarities din."

    Pagdating naman sa personalities nilang dalawa, sabi ni Bianca, "I think my life would be so boring if I ended up with someone like me!" Sabi pa niya, "Differences are advantages."

    READ MORE STORIES FEATURING BIANCA AND HER FAMILY: 

    Tinanong din ng mga readers si Bianca kung may advice ba siya sa mga taong kasalukuyang hinahanap ang kanilang 'The One'. "This may sound cheesy, but for me it's true," sabi niya. "Be the best you. The you that you really, really like and the you that thrives."

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    "You will attract the exact kind of person you are meant to be with, who can complement you, not 'complete' you."

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