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Nobody likes fighting; conflicts can be stressful and difficult and leave us feeling vulnerable. But the truth is that conflicts are a natural part of every relationship. Sean Glover, LCSW writes in an article for Psychology Today that true intimacy will remain elusive until you learn how to deal with difficult feelings and accept that disagreements are healthy.
Glover continues that avoiding conflicts can lead to more conflict between you and your partner; it causes you to hide how you feel, bottle up your frustration, and neglect your needs. Meanwhile, learning how to handle conflicts helps stabilize your sense of self, improves your confidence, and brings you closer to others.
Here are six conflicts that couples tend to avoid, but shouldn’t:
Money
You and your partner might have differences on how you each spend money; maybe one of you enjoys shopping often while the other prefers to save. These can cause issues not just in your relationship but even in your finances.
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWHow to solve it: Be transparent about what you’re spending on and listen to your partner’s concerns over your finances, Heidi McBain, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, tells Bustle.
Lack of intimacy
One common issue long-term couples may deal with is a lack of intimacy due to factors like busyness, insecurities, or always having kids in bed with them. Lack of intimacy may mean an emotional disconnect where one feels like the other isn’t listening to or interested in them.
How to solve it: Communicate with your partner openly and honestly. You don’t want to wait until the lack of intimacy becomes so unfixable and jeopardizes your relationship.
Parenting
Even if you and your spouse agree on how to raise your kids, you will inevitably still disagree on subjects like how much allowance to give your child or how much screen time they get every day. One spouse might also feel like parenting labor is unfairly divided among the two of them.
CONTINUE READING BELOWwatch nowHow to solve it: Talk frankly and kindly away from the kids. When you know what your partner’s parenting concerns are, your empathy increases and you can support them better.
Work
Work-related issues can be another big cause of conflict in couples. Factors like differing work hours and a high workload can make spouses feel like they don’t get to spend as much time together anymore.
How to solve it: Discuss how you can make the most of the time you have for each other and the family.
Social media
Social media-related concerns among couples might include worries about how much time their partners spend online, who they talk to on social media, or how much they post (or don’t post) about your relationship or your family.
How to solve it: Relationship expert Chuck Rockey advises being sensitive enough to correct your behavior before it ends up making your partner feel isolated.
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Unfortunately, it’s still common to hear of spouses — usually women — who feel unfairly burdened by household responsibilities. This can not only strain a relationship but also negatively impact a person’s mental and emotional health.
How to solve it: Communicate your expectations with each other and share responsibilities, so that your relationship feels more like a partnership.
One more reason why fights shouldn't be avoided: Experts say couples who don't argue are more likely to separate. Click here to learn more.
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