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  • 5 Signs You're In A Happy, Healthy Relationship: 'You Share Household Chores'

    A happy marriage means being committed to making it work.
    by Kitty Elicay .
5 Signs You're In A Happy, Healthy Relationship: 'You Share Household Chores'
PHOTO BY iStock
  • If you were asked, right now, if you are happily married, what would your answer be? Would you be able to confidently say, ‘Yes, I am!”?

    5 signs you're in a happy, healthy relationship

    They say marriage is hard work, and that saying holds true for happy marriages: you have to really commit for you to achieve it. That includes having an open line of communication, treating each other with respect, and making sure to pursue both personal and couple goals.

    But what are the other signs of a happy marriage? Here are some that suggest you’re on the right track.

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    1. You and your partner treat each other with respect.

    Disagreements happen to any couple, and hurtful words can be said during a heated argument. But despite the fights, those in happy relationships still have respect for one another.

    “Respect is essential in a marriage and it can still exist even in the face of disagreement or anger,” explains marriage counselor Raffi Bilek to Fatherly. “But when you see your spouse as someone unworthy of your respect, your marriage is likely to go downhill from there.”

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    "That doesn’t mean necessarily sacrificing yourself in order to make or keep your partner happy, but it means communicating with love, even when it’s difficult.”

    If you still manage to think about your partner’s needs and wants despite seething in anger, then that’s a sign of respect. “In a relationship, mutual respect looks like speaking to one another in a respectful and considerate fashion, keeping your partner in mind when you’re making decisions, and responding to your partner’s needs and wants,” says Saba Harouni Lurie, a licensed marriage and family therapist, to Fatherly.  “That doesn’t mean necessarily sacrificing yourself in order to make or keep your partner happy, but it means communicating with love, even when it’s difficult.”

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    2. You try your best to stay truthful.

    It may sound cliché, but according to research conducted by Dr. Karl Pillemer, a sociologist at Cornell University, honesty and open communication are two key elements of successful, lasting relationships. After interviewing over 1,000 elderly couples, Dr. Pillemer found a person’s biggest regret include not being able to be fully honest with their partners — something to think about when you find yourself keeping secrets from teach other.

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    3. You let each other grow separately.

    Yes, the husband and wife should grow as a couple, but it is equally important to let each other grow as individuals, too.

    When you’re in love, it’s so easy to put your personal needs aside because you want your partner to be happy. But when you start to lose yourself, you become miserable and resentful that your partner is finding fulfillment but you are not.

    “A fulfilling relationship is a combination of your dreams and the dreams of your partner. It’s about putting both of your dreams on the table and encouraging each other to pursue these dreams,” writes Tiffany Mason, a life coach, in her article for LifeHack.org. “A healthy relationship requires both partners to express themselves and their needs. Make sure that you develop your purpose just as much as you encourage your partner to do the same.”

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    4. You share household chores.

    According to a study, couples who agree to share chores are more likely to be happier in their relationships. And those who are able to clearly define their responsibilities are also more likely to be satisfied with one another.

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    If you constantly argue about household chores, sit down and have a discussion about the division of labor at home. Write down every chore and who currently gets it done. Then, re-assign the tasks depending on who’s more suited to it. “Each helps the other carry life’s weight, and your differences allow you to bring a strength the other lacks,“ explains Carolyn Hax, in a column for The Seattle Times.

    5. You appreciate one another.

    Have you ever looked at your partner and thought about how grateful you are that he or she is in your life? Try saying that out loud.

    For a stay-at-home-mom, taking care of the kids 24/7 is exhausting, and for dad, working hard to earn money can get tiring, too. But providing validation gives your partner a boost of confidence that can melt away the fatigue. “I see what you do and I love you for it” — hearing your partner appreciate you instantly puts your relationship in a happier place.

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    Want to know more secrets about a happy marriage? One mom says, "jealousy is a useless emotion." Click here to read why!

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