She won’t stop bragging about how young her son was when he first rode his bike without training wheels, and teases you about how your son won’t even get on his. She leaves her daughter in your house for playdates without telling you that the poor lass has a bad case of the sniffles. Or worse, she’s holier-than-thou, preaching the good word of hygiene and cleanliness, calling forth lightning from the heavens to strike those who won’t listen.
There are tons of monster moms out there! And when faced with one who’s strange, overbearing, or just really annoying, what do you do?
Before you have a showdown with the mommy from hell, read our expert's advice on how to deal.
The Competitive Mom
The Profile: She compares her tot’s every achievement to yours. Mention how your son is in the honor roll, and she’ll proclaim that hers is in the top spot. She’s prepared to run a marathon of milestones and racing with her will just leave you in the dust.
A True Story: Jennevie Lo Shih, mom to Dustin Geof, 6 months, from Manila, once tried to beat a competitive mom. “While our kids were playing, I got so annoyed with this mom. She kept bragging about how smart her kid is, how her baby can do this and that at an earlier stage than my son. I started to think, ‘Why can’t my son do this trick until now? Is he a late bloomer?” So I started teaching my son different tricks.’”
The Real Deal: The competitive mom isn’t necessarily out to put you and your child down. Sharon Co, psychologist at PsychConsult Inc. in Quezon City, explains, ìOne possibility is that she was unable to accomplish her own dreams when she was young, so she wants to live out that dream through her child.”
Believe it or not, the competitive mom is just worried about her ability as a parent. “Some parents feel that their kid’s performance is a reflection of their own parenting. If their tot is doing well, then they feel like they’re being good parents,” Co explains.
And the child is already anxious, stressed, and pressured, ask yourself, ëIs this for my own needs or for the needs of my child? Confronting a competitive mom can be tricky, so subtlety is the key. Co suggests asking her, “I wonder how your child feels?” She may not be entirely aware that her kid is feeling stressed and you might just be able to provide an eye-opener.
An exchange of ideas can begin from here. Slowly, you can help point out the consequences of her actions on her child, but make sure never to put blame on her.
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