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  • Joyce Pring and Juancho Trivino got married right before the COVID-19 pandemic.

    A month after tying the knot on February 9, 2020, Joyce and Juancho joined the rest of the world in staying home to curb the spread of the COVID-19 virus. All this time together inevitably led to some tension and fights during their first year of marriage.

    Joyce, who is now around 7 months pregnant, recalled during a Facebook Live session on January 21, 2021: "Nung lockdown talaga, grabe iyong mga arguments namin because we were adjusting so much. Kinailangan namin hanapan ng way that we [could] constantly communicate in such a way that we both understand.

    "It won't only deal with the way that I'm willing to communicate, which is straightforward, but with also the way he wants to communicate, which is a bit more malambing, more relaxed."

    Joyce and Juancho then formed two rules to keep the peace between them. The first rule had to do with how they approach arguments.


    Joyce revealed, "May rule kami na when we have an argument, he gives me space first and then we talk about it when we're both settled in our emotions."

    This was important for them to do so they could avoid any screaming matches.

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    Joyce continued, "I know that's hard [for] married couples to never scream at each other, mas lalo na kapag nag-aaway kayo. Pero napapansin namin that when you're screaming na, kapag mataas na iyong boses mo, masyado ka nang emotional."

    "We step away from that kind of situation before we escalate," she adds.


    Their second rule was to regularly check with one another the state of their marriage. Joyce explained: "We do date night every week, 'tapos talagang nag-uusap kami that date night and we ask the same questions.

    "Like we ask each other, 'How would you rate me as a husband or wife during this week?' and 'What are the things that I can improve on? And what are the things that you would like to encourage me on?'

    "Halimbawa, kapag nag-aaway kami ni Juancho. Like last week, 8.5 lang siya sa akin. Tapos sasabihin ko sa kanya bakit 8.5 lang siya sa akin.

    "'Kasi, love, nag-schedule ka ng basketball game with your friends kahit na ang tagal na natin hindi nagkita dahil lagi kang nasa work.' Nakri-criticize ko siya from a place of love and, I think, when you become married especially and when you're in a committed relationship, kailangan mo makahanap ng way to be completely honest with your partner by also understanding who they are as a person."


    Joyce said Juancho was "the more sensitive one" between them, which was why they came up with this system.

    "Ako, medyo tough ako, e. You can tell me straight to my face kung naging maldita ako or masakit ulo mo kasi annoying ako. Kaya ko iyon tanggapin.

    "Pero si Juancho, kailangan i-explain sa kanya in a better way. You have to kind of ease him into that.

    "And we have to honest, iba-iba iyong personalities ng mga tao. So, kung iyong partner mo ganoon, kailangan mo mag-find ng workaround. And that was our workaround."

    Their rating system has become a "sacred routine" for them. "We wouldn't fight about big things at the moment. We try to find ways to discuss it when we're both calm.

    "We rate each other as husband and wife every week and then we ask each other, 'How did I hurt you? Will you forgive me? And how can I improve?' And that has been such a big help."


    Joyce and Juancho have already celebrated their first wedding anniversary. The couple is now expecting a child together, due in July 2021.

    This story originally appeared on Pep.ph.

    *Minor edits have been made by the SmartParenting.com.ph editors.

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