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  • Moms React: What Would You Do If You Don't Like The Person Your Child Is Marrying?

    It's a scenario most moms would not want to face.
    by Kitty Elicay .
  • Over the past weekend, the public could not help but buzz about the civil wedding of celebrities Sarah Geronimo and Matteo Guidicelli, a happy event that was marred by controversy after reports surfaced that Matteo allegedly punched one of Sarah’s bodyguards. According to various news outlets, the altercation happened after Sarah’s mother, Divine Geronimo, unexpectedly arrived at the venue. Matteo then accused the bodyguard of revealing their wedding plans to Sarah’s mom. Fans of the couple were surprised and disappointed with what happened since they thought that Divine had already accepted Matteo after the latter revealed that he and Sarah were engaged in November 2019.

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    What if you don’t like the person your child is marrying?

    Over at our Facebook group, Smart Parenting Village, our member moms also could not help but relate with the issue, whether it's from the point of view of a daughter wanting to marry someone their parents do not approve of or as a mom who only wants the best for her child. It prompted us to ask, “What would you do if you don’t like the person your child is marrying?”

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    1. Pag-usapan mabuti.

    “Siyempre, nakakalungkot na hindi mo gusto ‘yung magiging mister ng anak mo. But kailangan mo ring isipin ang damdamin ng anak mo. For me, [kailangang] pag-usapan mabuti. Isa-alang-alang ang nadarama ng anak kung doon siya sasaya.” Anonymous

    2. Respect ang dapat manaig.

    “Hindi natin maiiwasan na sumama ang loob if that time happens. Pero siguro if I truly love my son or daughter above all, acceptance and respect ang dapat manaig.” Amor MC

    3. Trust your daughter.

    “Para sa akin na may anak rin na babae, I should always trust my daughter’s decision and choices for I am the one who raised her so I know her better. Parents should let their children choose and decide for themselves and we are just there to guide them — not be the one in charge of the decision-making. Kung magkamali man ang anak natin sa ginawa nilang desisyon, be there to support them sa pagbangon nila mula sa pagkakadapa. Dahil sure ako na natuto na sila sa pagkakamali na ‘yun.” Margarette Ong

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    4. Walang mag-biyenan ang mag-beshy.

    “A marriage counselor told us during our pre-marriage seminar: ‘Walang mag-biyenan ang mag-beshy.” Siguro takot lang si mommy Divine na mawala ang financial support ni Sarah sa kanila. Ganyan din ang mama ko. It is on Sarah’s part to secure na hindi porke nag-asawa siya ay titigil na siya sa pagiging mabuting anak. If, in the end, she fails with her decision, then panindigan niya ang consequence. Hindi rin siya dapat sisihin ng magulang niya.” Anonymous

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    5. We just want the best for our children.

    “Siyempre we just want the best for our children. Hindi masamang tumutol as long as may valid reasons like iresponsable, may masamang bisyo, at hindi mabuting tao ‘yung lalaki. At hanggat kayang ipaliwanag sa anak ang mga rason mo, ok naman siguro. Pero we can only hope na makikinig siya.” Jamily Mifsud

    6. It will always come back to how the parent treats her child.

    “I cannot choose who my daughters will marry. But what I can do is to strengthen her decision-making skills. ‘Yung tipong siya mismo kikilatis sa mga nanliligaw sa kanya. ‘Yung hindi ko kailangan manghimasok kasi kaya niya mag-weigh ng consequences ng actions niya.” Dana Bacalso

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    7. Open communication is key.

    “Of course, masasaktan ka kapag ‘yung ayaw mo para sa anak mo tinuloy pa rin niya. Kaya ngayon pa lang, kahit sa maliit na bagay we let our daughter choose what she wants. Tapos kapag ok naman, go, kapag hindi, ine-explain namin ng maigi why we don’t want it for her. Open communication talaga dapat with the kids.” Anonymous

    8. Lahat naman ng matitinong nanay, pinakamabuti ang gusto sa anak.

    “Lahat naman ng matitinong nanay pinakamabuti ang gusto sa anak. Lumaki si Sarah na God-fearing, magalang, masipag, at mabuting tao kasi nakikita niya sa magulang niya. Ang sakit lang ‘yung pinaka-important na event sa buhay ng anak niya, wala ang nanay niya.” Abby Chen Asinas

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    9. Dapat nakasa-alang-alang ang happiness nila.

    “Mahirap na ‘pag andun ka na sa sitwasyon na ‘yun. Mas madaling magbigay ng opinion o advice ‘pag hindi pa nangyayari sa’yo. Pero, kung ayaw ko sa mapapangasawa ng anak ko, kakausapin ko na lang ang anak ko pero kung ipipilit niya ‘yung gusto niya, hahayaan ko siya. Susuportahan ko na lang siya para maging masaya siya. Kung sakali man na dumating ‘yung panahon na narealize niya na maling tao ang napili niya, andun lang ako, susuport at tutulong pa rin sa kanya.” Love Codinera

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    10. Para sa mga magulang, walang perpektong lalaki o babae para sa anak natin.

    Kung ang boyfriend ng anak ko ay matino, walang bisyo, may trabaho at mahal ang anak ko bakit ko di ipapakasal ang anak ko? Para sa ating magulang walang perpektong lalaki o babae para sa mga anak natin pero dapat natin maintindihan na tatanda tayo at later on maiiwan natin ang mga anak natin. ‘Di ba masarap sa pakiramdam na maiiwan natin ang anak natin na nasa mabuting kalagayan at may tao na makakasama niya sa pagtanda? Cynthia San Jose

    11. Parents’ approval is a blessing to the marriage.

    “For me, wrong move na magpakasal ng walang approval ng parents. Aside from respect sa parents, parents’ approval is a blessing to the marriage. But as parents, if siya talaga ang gusto ng anak natin, we should accept it since sila naman ang magpapakasal at hindi ang parents. They will be the ones to build a family and tayo ‘yung magiging guides/coaches nila.” —Anonymous

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    12. At some point, parents need to let go.

    “Parents should stop being imposing, controlling, and expecting too much of their children when they are already mature and responsible enough. At some point parents need to let go and let God because they also have their own lives. If you have raised loving, respectful and grateful children they will always love you back. Parents do not own their kids. Parents prepare their kids to be on their own.” —Sarah Lou Acosta

    Can you still mend a family feud if you've been fighting for a long time? Click here for expert tips.

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