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  • Be Intentional In Listening: 7 Skills All Husbands and Wives Need for a Healthy Marriage

    Supporting your spouse’s interests and giving them some space are just some of them!
    by Kate Borbon .
Be Intentional In Listening: 7 Skills All Husbands and Wives Need for a Healthy Marriage
PHOTO BY Pexels
  • Much like parenting, marriage is a journey that teaches us something new all the time, including skills that are vital in maintaining a healthy relationship. From listening to communicating to showing affection and appreciation, here are seven skills that every husband and wife need to work on, according to the moms of Smart Parenting Village.

    Be intentional in listening

    Listening is one skill that moms of Smart Parenting Village consider most important. “Listen to understand,” wrote one mom. “Don’t just think of yourself or how you feel, especially after an argument. Learn to be intentional in listening to what your spouse feels and has to say.”

    During arguments, you can practice this skill by hearing out what your partner is saying instead of speaking at the same time as him, which can just make it more difficult for you to resolve the situation, some moms said.

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    Know your partner’s love language

    Many moms wrote that being aware of your spouse’s love language — whether it is words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, acts of service, or physical touch — is a helpful way to make sure that all of your partner’s needs are accommodated and fulfilled.

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    Communicate with each other

    Communication has always been considered vital in maintaining good relationships, especially ones between husband and wife. For one, it allows both parties to effectively inform each other of their needs and frustrations, which then gives them the chance to figure out whatever issue might need fixing.

    As one mom wrote, “You both need to communicate your feelings and be able to understand each other with compassion and affection. Lalo na when it comes to goals and problems.”

    This skill also involves learning to be careful of what you say during arguments when it can be easy to let yourself get carried away by anger and frustration. As one mom pointed out, “Ang hirap bawiin ng masasakit na salita.” To avoid saying things you don’t mean, one mom recommended stopping to evaluate what you have to say before you start speaking.

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    Support your spouse

    Whether it is a new hobby your partner wants to learn, or a business venture he wants to get into, showing support for your spouse in his chosen paths and endeavors is a heartfelt way to let him know that you are there for him all the way.

    One mom wrote that though her husband tended to jump from one interest to another all the time, she supported him anyway because “Ang sarap kasi makita yung asawa mo na masaya siya sa ginagawa niya.” How sweet!

    Supporting your spouse can also be shown by respecting his need for space now and then like some moms pointed out. “Both should understand that getting married doesn’t mean, you will always do everything together, separate yourselves from friends and outside world,” one mom wrote. Another said that giving your partner some space is a way to avoid ‘toxic arguments’ from happening.

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    Stay romantic

    You might have already been together for many years, but don’t let that stop you from finding little ways to make your partner feel special! One mom shared that she and her husband would still find time to give each other sweet surprises, which help keep the love alive between them. Another mom suggested preparing yummy meals for your partner and regularly going on dates, which are a great way to recharge if you’re feeling burnt out!

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    Forgive and ask for forgiveness

    Now and then, you or your spouse will make mistakes and failures. Learning to forgive your partner and ask for forgiveness yourself can strengthen your relationship and deepen it further. One mom wrote, “Knowing how to make it up to each other after a fight. Being forgiving and not staying angry at each other for a long time. I believe this is our strength in our imperfect relationship. Without this, we would have parted ways long ago.”

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    Put your marriage first

    Prioritizing your marriage can be difficult when you have children to care for, but if you want to raise happy children, it is important to put your marriage first. Julie Ingenohl, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Fatherly that people who put all their focus on raising the kids might end up completely neglecting the person who is helping them raise those kids—the same person who will also be there once the kids grow up and have lives of their own.

    “Learning to set priorities: Marriage first, kapag OK ang pagsasama ng mag-asawa magiging maayos din ang buong pamilya. Mahalaga ang mga kaibigan. We treasure them most but we must know that husband and wife relationship should go first,” shared one mom.

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