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  • Extended Family & Finances: 4 Things to Remember

    Here are ways on how to deal with in-laws that ask for too much when it comes to money matters.
    by Abby Manalang-Villarica .
  • 2.    Find a system that works for your family.
    There are no clear-cut solutions to dealing with family issues so the best is to decide as a couple what works for you. Some couples decide to keep things even between both sides of in-laws. They peg a certain amount of money, time and resources and stick to that regardless of the individual needs and demands of each pair of in-laws. This is their way of keeping boundaries in check while still being able to give and help out.

    Other couples find that one side may be of more need than the other and find solutions to deal with the unique family situations they are presented with. Maybe one side needs more financial aid than the other, but the other has a sick parent or member that needs more time and attention.

    Generally though, the idea is to find a system that works for your family and stick to it.       

    3.    Stick to your boundaries.
    Once you and your partner have decided and agreed on the responsibilities you can take on for each of your in-laws, try your hardest to stick to the system and boundaries you have set as a couple. Make sure you communicate to each side what it is that they can expect of you and stand firm to those boundaries even if they may pressure you to help out more. Maybe explaining to each in-law that though you may want to help out more and take on more responsibilities, it is clear to both you and your partner that securing your own family and children’s welfare comes first and you can only accommodate them so much.

    This is the tricky part of dealing with in-laws who demand too much. Understandably, it can be difficult not worrying about their welfare and giving in to too many of their demands because they are, after all, your parents and family. But holding on to the boundaries you have as a couple makes sure that you do not spread yourself too thinly, or get into situations where your own family’s welfare is sacrificed. Remember, your own family and your children are your first priority now and communicating this nicely and politely to the in-laws is a must.

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