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  • Bettina Carlos Gives Up Homeschooling: No Shame in Admitting We Can't Do it All

    The solo mom is thankful for the opportunity to homeschool her daughter for a year
    by Lei Dimarucut-Sison .
Bettina Carlos Gives Up Homeschooling: No Shame in Admitting We Can't Do it All
PHOTO BY @abettinnacarlos/Instagram
  • After a year of trying, solo mom Bettina Carlos is ready to let go of her homeschooling dreams and send daughter Gummy back to regular school. The decision didn’t come easy, she says in an Instagram post documenting Gummy’s first day in school.

    “For a time I felt like a failure. My pride refused to give up. No, pinasok ko to ginusto ko to papangatawanan ko to. I know the Lord was training me through it too,” she wrote.

    In 2018, Bettina decided to homeschool Gummy because she wanted to be more intentional about raising her daughter. “If you think homeschooling is literally just studying at home it’s not. It is actually allowing your children to explore and experience the bigger tangible world outside of the traditional classroom-whether in a school building or at home,” she wrote a year ago.

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    The solo mom was determined to make it work and came prepared. She and Gummy wrote down their goals and planned everything carefully in order to make the most of their homeschooling sessions. Gummy’s goals included understanding more words in Filipino, discovering Filipino food, and “not to talk when Mommy’s talking.” Bettina, on the other hand, looked forward to spending time with Gummy and fuel her curiosity to encourage learning.

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    The mom-and-daughter duo ended up with simple and practical rules: to listen, smile, and get rid of all distractions, wait your turn to speak, and of course, enjoy! 

    However, homeschooling entails a lot of commitment and sacrifice, and Bettina did go through it all. There were times she would fall asleep studying the next day’s lessons or planning how to teach them. But she persevered and saw what’s important.

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    “Its not to just get the job done but cherishing the sweet slow-paced learning moment with my child. Even tho the perfectionist in me was nagging me to step in and take over, I had to let her so she will learn. I was consciously reminding myself to praise effort, not perfection,” she wrote on Instagram. 

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    This year, however, Bettina knew she had to make a choice “to save the relationship and delegate academics.”

    The entrepreneur-mom, who manages C Kitchenry Culinary Studio, reveals in her Instagram post, “I really struggled teaching Gummy the discipline of time and following a schedule. When I become strict teacher I become ‘bad mom’. Sad to say I tend to be a momster. (Stress of work to do after and the delay of getting things done).

    “I wanted to push for another year. Para hindi naman ako gumive up ng ganon ganon lang. But God was also breaking my pride. I realized I CANNOT. But I had to work on accepting that ITS OKAY.”

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    Bettina shared the recent conversation she had with Gummy, when she asked her 8-year old if she wanted to go back to school. 

    “She said she wants to homeschool because she loves spending time with me BUT she really misses having playmates everyday (something I also struggle with cos I cant give myself to her all the time for the long play time she wants plus she gets sad when I need to be away to attend to other matters-solo child of a solo mom syndrome maybe? Our reality is I need to work still.I will still be away sometimes.) 

    “I assured her I’m okay. So at that moment we both agreed to try to go back to her old school-my only school of choice too. And today she starts as a 3rd grader,” she wrote.

    With this post, Bettina underscored lessons many of us moms must learn: humility to accept the fact that we cannot do everything no matter how good the intentions, the grace to admit it, and the importance of giving time for yourself as well. She ended her post with a hopeful note: “I thank the Lord for the opportunity to homeschool. Now Im just looking forward to this new season, excited for her.”

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