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  • Dani Barretto On Her Relationship With Dad Kier Legaspi And Being A 'Prodigal Daughter'

    "I was a very hard child to raise. Lagi ako naglalayas."
    by Rachelle Siazon for Pep.ph .
  • Inamin ni Dani Barretto, 27, na sinusubukan niyang manumbalik ang komunikasyon nila ng kanyang estranged father na si Kier Legaspi, 48.

    Hindi kaila sa mga nakasubaybay kay Dani na hindi niya inimbitahan si Kier nang siya ay ikasal sa mister niyang si Xavi Panlilio noong April 2019.

    Noong March 2019 ay nag-vlog pa si Dani na tanggap na niyang hindi sila on speaking terms ng ama.

    Pero noong taong 2020 ay naramdaman daw ni Dani na nais niyang makausap ang sariling ama.

    "I spoke to him last year. I called him," pag-amin ni Dani sa vlog ni Vicki Belo nitong Hulyo 15, 2021.

    Patuloy ni Dani, "I was very emotional. I knew he was just there. I wanted my daughter to know him.

    "I don't want my daughter to grow up na what if she asks me about my dad, wala ako masagot because I don't know what's happening in his life."

    Sa puntong iyon ay pitong taon na raw ang lumipas mula nang huli silang magkita at magkausap.

    "I didn't even have his number. I had to ask for his number sa lola ko, his mom. I called him and we spoke," ani Dani.

    Plano raw ni Dani na makipagkita sa ama.

    "We kept trying to plan to see each other but because of COVID hindi kami matuluy-tuloy."

    On Dani's early memories with Kier

    Ayon kay Dani, ang ama niyang si Kier at ina na si Marjorie Barretto ay naghiwalay noong ipinanganak siya noong October 1993.

    Lumaki raw siyang kilala si Kier pero hindi ito constant figure sa buhay niya.

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    "I don't think I actually celebrated a birthday with my dad. Growing up, that was actually a major frustration for me.

    "Kasi siyempre, when you have friends, you see them at birthday parties, tapos may cake blowing, tapos complete family pag may birthday.

    "I didn't have that growing up. It wasn't naman much of a bubog."

    May mga alaala naman daw siyang nakapiling niya ang ama.

    Sabi pa ni Dani, "We had a relationship naman. I have memories of him. Hindi naman total nothing. I do have naman good and bad memories."

    Falling-out with Kier when Dani was 19

    Growing up, masakit daw para kay Dani na hindi consistent ang pagkikita nila ni Kier noong kabataan niya.

    "Because I knew he was just around. I knew na hindi naman siya OFW. He's just within my reach.

    "But when I got older and I had more freedom to reach out to him, I did, I tried."

    May pagkakataon ding tumira si Dani sa bahay ng amang si Kier.

    Balik-tanaw ni Dani: "At one point, I actually lived with him pa for three months when I was 19.

    "It was a very dark phase in my life. At that time, I wanted to get to know him. I wanted a different point of view.

    "I lived with my mom all my life, I wanted to try to know my dad, so I lived with him.

    "We had fun. Dun ko nakilala dad ko. We had a relationship. I have great memories of him."

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    Pero doon din daw sila nagkaroon ng hindi pagkakaunawaan.

    Paliwanag ni Dani: "But naudlot siya, e. After three months, dun kami nagka-falling out. A fight occurred one night.

    "And then, hindi na namin na-resurrect from that night. We just stopped talking after that night. Then it has been seven years."

    Hanggang sa noon ngang nakaraang taon ay muling nagkausap ang mag-ama.

     

    On being a "prodigal daughter"

    Aminado naman si Dani na lumaki siyang sakit sa ulo ng ina na si Marjorie dahil sa kanyang inner wounds.

    "I was a very hard child to raise. I was a prodigal daughter. Lagi ako naglalayas," diretsong pag-amin ni Dani.

    Patuloy niya, "Ako yung very confused in life. Laging may issue sa school, issue sa life, issue sa friends.

    "So, my mom really had a hard time with me. I gave her so much problems, kaya kapag may hinihingi yung mom ko, 'Okay, mom, I'll give it."

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    Ikinuwento pa ni Dani na noong taong 2017 ay naglayas siya at nanirahan sa bahay ng paternal grandmother niya.

    Gulung-gulo raw ang isip noon ni Dani dahil kakahiwalay nila ng nobyo niya ng limang taon.

    "I blamed other people instead of myself. Nadamay yung mom ko, nadamay lahat. I decided to leave.

    "And then when I left, I lived with my grandma, my lola—my dad's mom—I'm very close to her."

     

    On meeting Xavi and how he became a positive influence to her

    Noong panahong wala si Dani sa poder ni Marjorie, nakilala niya ang mister niya ngayong si Xavi Panlilio.

    "So at the time, that was when I met him. Hindi ko nakikita yung family ko nung time na yun," balik-tanaw pa rin ni Dani.

    Sabi pa niya ukol sa paglayo sa inang si Marjorie at apat na mga kapatid, "We're very close. Me being away for four months, that was really hell for me. Super hell.

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    "I can't go back. 'Umalis na ako. Kailangan ko panindigan ito.' I was very ma-pride. I admit that."

    September 2017 nang maging kasintahan ni Dani si Xavi, at ito raw ang nagsilbing positive influence sa buhay niya.

    "Siya ang nag-tame sa akin," napapangiting saad ni Dani.

    Kasama ni Dani si Xavi sa vlog ni Vicki.

    Ayon kay Xavi, nang makilala niya si Dani ay wala nga ito sa piling ng ina at mga kapatid nito.

    Sa isip daw noon ni Xavi, "I realized you may have had reasons for leaving, but at the same time, you need to do damage control for what she left in the past, what happened to your siblings, your mom."

    Pero hinintay raw muna ni Xavi na magkakilala sila nang husto ni Dani bago niya pinayuhan itong makipag-ayos sa pamilya.

    "I didn't do it in one go. I really studied her. I never judged based on the decision she made because everyone has their reasons din.

    "When we got to the level of of our relationship when we were more comfortable with one another, I told her, 'You know, I really think you should patch things up.

    "'Just because you're seeing them you don't have to kneel and say sorry. It's more of being present again. You do it gradually, not in one go.'"

    Sabi naman ni Dani, si Xavi talaga ang tumulong sa kanyang maging kalmado sa buhay.

    Ayon kay Dani, "That's why I always say he tamed me because my emotions are always heightened. I always yell.

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    "I was really a different person [then]. But mahihiya ka pag yung kaaway mo hindi ka sinisigawan.

    "Parang, 'Okay, I have to tame myself.' He taught me how to fight nang maayos. We can argue lang. We don't have to say hurtful things. You can discuss."

    Ikinasal sina Dani at Xavi noong April 23, 2019. Ang anak nilang si Millie ay halos magdadalawang taong gulang.

     

     

    This story originally appeared on Pep.ph.

    *Minor edits have been made by the SmartParenting.com.ph editors.

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