Starting off her birthday month this February, Heart Evangelista tackled love in the second episode of her online vlog series, "Dear Heart." One of the questions she addressed is about being with a man who has children from his previous relationship.
The actress dug deep into her personal experience being married to Sorsogon governor Chiz Escudero who has twins Chesi and Quino, 12, from his previous marriage.
Heart admitted that she used to be "so confused" about how to position herself when she came into their lives. Chesi and Quino were only 4 years old then. "I'm the youngest in my family, and I wasn't used to hanging out with a lot of kids," she explained.
There was a moment when she was faced with the realities of having children and doubted herself if she could take care of them.
"I had one eyeliner on, and Chesi was being difficult, and my hair was wet, and I was doing her ponytail, and she was crying, and we were in the States, so there was no yaya," the actress recalled. "Oh, my God! I really questioned myself if, "Can I really do it?" Heart revealed.
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW"It's going to really push you to your limit," Heart said of having kids and taking care of them. "Having a child is very special, but your patience has to be the long and winding road," Heart said. "Because technically they're not really yours," she added.
But artist and fashion enthusiast didn't give up and prayed a lot. "I'm very blessed that the kids of Chiz... have been living with me, and we're really really happy, and it all worked out," Heart shared. All her fears have disappeared, too, and everything is "better than ever," she added.
Heart's advice to women who are considering a future with a man who already has kids
For women who are planning a future with a man who already has children, Heart suggests to really sit down and think if you're alright with it. "Because there are other lives involved. It's not just the two of you," she said, referring to the kids.
CONTINUE READING BELOWwatch now"If you're fine with it, even if [the kids] don't stay with you, you have to embrace the idea that they're also going to be yours because they're an extension of the person you love," Heart stressed. "You have to be unconditional. You can't have rules like this and that, it just won't work out."
She also offered her two cents about how to start a relationship with the kids. "You cannot force themselves into their lives. You cannot force the issue, because you'll never be their mom," Heart advised. "You have to understand that, and you have to respect that they'll always have their mom," she stressed.
Heart suggested to be content with being a "fun tita," also cautioned about trying too hard to get the kids' approval. "You just have to be yourself. You just have to be pure intentions," the actress said. And the rest will follow — the kids will "feel," "smell," and "see" it.
Watch Heart give her two cents about the topic, starting around the 3:40 mark.
It can be tricky when you're caring for someone else's child, whether you're a stepmom, tita, lola. Click here for some tips.
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