When people talk about the roller coaster of emotions a mom who just gave birth goes through, Sitti Navarro Ramirez offers what it's really like with daughter Issiah Dañelle, also known as Lilibubs. She is discovering every day is a day of learning and adjustment.
"For the past couple of weeks, I feel like I’ve been in an emotional pendulum," the Philippine Bossa Nova Queen wrote on her blog. She enumerated the highs and lows she has had to deal with from jealousy and confusion to sadness. You're "high and in love one moment" to "angry and frustrated the next."
Sitti admitted there were times she wanted to cry, and she did sometimes. "The only thing constant is how tired I feel all the time," the new mom noted. "I expected motherhood to be difficult. I expected it to be life-changing. But I suppose I didn’t expect to feel so many feelings all at once, all at the same time," Sitti explained.
The new mom wondered how she became overwhelmed with emotions. Was it Lilibubs crying while recovering from her lip and tie surgery? The whole household including her succumbing to illnesses or her going back to work? It could also have been postpartum hair loss, a new yaya, worrying about her sick mom, or trying to make ends meet, and even hormones!
"Maybe it was the strain of wanting to do and be more as a wife and mother and finding that I was just physically and mentally unable to do so," Sitti added. "Maybe it was when I started to pray less because my mind was just blank all the time, tired all the time," she mused. It could be each and every one of the things she enumerated and combined.
The singer, however, understands she can learn a lot from her postpartum experience. "It gives me comfort knowing that after every trial, there is sure to be a lesson learned," Sitti assured herself.
On being jealous of her daughter's yaya, Sitti was reminded that it takes a village to raise a child, to be more appreciative that Lilibubs is taking well to her new yaya. "I have neglected to give thanks for this and also for the fact that nowadays it is extremely hard to come by a good yaya," Sitti added.
On her worrying about Lilibubs and going back to work, Sitti is reminded that her daughter will not be hers at some point. "We were given these beautiful children to raise up, take care of, and wholeheartedly love, only to release them at strategic points in their lives. That all of mommyhood is a cycle of caring, preparing, and releasing," she explained. She should allow her daughter "the space she needs as she begins to come into her own person."
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"It’s okay not to be okay," Sitti reminder herself. "To get help in taking care of my baby doesn’t make me any less of a mother," she added. And while her physical body needs rest and self-care to be able to care for her husband and child, her spiritual self also needs caring, which is where prayer is vital.