At an advanced screening of the movie The Lion King that the Belo-Kho family hosted, Dr. Vicki Belo expressed one of her parenting fears and how she overcame it with the help of her husband, Dr. Hayden Kho, Jr.
“I was afraid she won’t love me” — the celebrity doctor told GMA News that this was the reason she didn’t want to be a disciplinarian at first to her 4-year-old daughter, Scarlet Snow. But then, Vicki discovered that her little girl loved her and her dad even more when they started to discipline her.
“Kasi parang before that she treated me like nothing, but when I started to put my foot down, parang now she looks for me, so combine love and discipline,” the mom of three said. That is always the goal, Vicki said. “Discipline without love doesn’t work,” she stressed.
Hayden, in a previous interview with Smartparenting.com.ph, shared that Vicki is more the nurturer and carer, while it’s his job “to define the identity of the child.”
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“Vicki is a naturally sweet and naturally nurturing person, so she learns that from their bonding,” while he takes the lead in being the disciplinarian and teaching Scarlet the “right principles.”
How Vicki and Hayden disciplines Scarlet Snow
Parents shouldn’t keep giving in to their kids, Vicki said. “You have to teach them early on the values; you have to be strict,” she stressed, adding that instilling discipline should start as early as age 1 to 3.
Like other kids her age, Scarlet Snow does throw tantrums also, albeit rarely. Vicki says she and Hayden call out the behavior right away.
“The one thing you shouldn’t do is let it get worse,” Vicki added. It also helps to know and understand the child’s moods, such as when she is tired or overwhelmed.
“When she [misbehaves], I always say, ‘pause and look at me.’ She knows when she’s done something wrong. She will avoid your eyes,” Vicki previously shared with Smart Parenting. When talking to Scarlet Snow about misbehavior, they refer to their Christian faith, which is how they get through to her. It comes in handy now that Scarlet isbigger and gaining more independence.
For the Belo-Khos, every opportunity can be a teaching moment for their child. But calling out a child who’s about to throw a fit is not the same as scolding the child. Dr. Vicki says she never scolds Scarlet in public — she instead explains it calmly and ends her lecture with a hug “so it always ends up on a positive note,” she added.
On the tricky subject of corporal punishment, Dr. Vicki said she and Hayden believe in spanking as a way of discipline as the Bible explains it. Instead of their hands, they use a “spanking rod” that has “a louder sound, but it’s not so painful.”