just last month, i scolded a friend, sabi ko, "don't be too quick to judge people who are in pain. we may not agree the choices that they made on account of their feelings, pero we cannot impose on them, how they will cope and move forward"...
natatawa ako, kasi, muntik na kitang sabihan na --- move on.
i know you will, in time. i know you must, in time. i know we will fully do so, in time.
the pain is ok, if only fleeting. there is but a reminder that your child whom you truly adore, is half of the man that you still do adore. we cannot love our children, without feeling (albeit unconsciously) affection, for their fathers --- for how do we separate the source, and the consequence? of course, we love our kids to the highest level and we even used that love, to stand strong ---- use that to stand strong and move forward.
don't wait for the time that he has a new gf, or has been engaged, or be married. we can no longer deny the paternity, and it would be unfair for your child to do so. kung sincere and responsible naman sya over the child, let him be.
there is a seminar for co-parenting at ateneo and don bosco-makati. if you're serious about involving him in his life, maybe you could attend counselling for yourself or for the two of you, before you embark on actively including him in your lives, para you could let go of the baggages and the rules are clear.
there are rules about separated parents who would wish to be both present, in their kids' life. focus on that. yung sakit ----- haaaay matagal nang masakit... pero lilipas din yan, or in time, di na rin importante yung pain mo eh.
ang important, your child. what will she gain from the relationship with her dad?