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Parenting => Real Parenting => Topic started by: maphine on July 16, 2008, 07:15:53 pm

Title: child tantrums
Post by: maphine on July 16, 2008, 07:15:53 pm
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Mommies ang Ynzho ko my tantrums na ata!

He would scream if he won't get what he wants or if his toy won't work according to what he desires.
Is this the stage that toddlers would show their own tantrums? I read a lot of articles but still it won't work. Like to ignore him or to talk to him calmly, but it won't really work.Mas nagiging worst kasi kahit nasa labas kami,eating in a resto he would do it.

help!!!

For those mommies na dumaan na sa stage ng mga anak nila ng ganito pls help me get over this.

Thanks a lot! :)

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Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: youngmom on July 16, 2008, 07:31:33 pm
time outs use to work for tanrums,o kaya hug him while stroking his back para mag cool down siya and tell him if he does it again in public,di na siya isasama(if he could understand u na)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: javvy820 on July 16, 2008, 08:46:16 pm
hi mommy maphine,preggy ako sa eldest ko nun may nabili akong book ang title "happiest baby on the block" and " happiest toddler on the block" unfortunately hindi ko sya nabasa ng buo konti konti lang sa sobrang busy.. Anyway may sinabi dun yun author na nagtatantrums ang bata kasi hindi nila maexpress yun feelings nila and minsan the more na sawayin mo lalo pa nagsisigaw ,, isa sa mga advice niya is yun instead na pagalitan o sabihan ng stop ang gagawin mo parang sasabihin mo na naiintindihan mo sya parang ex. Nagwawala kasi ayaw umandar ng toy ang sasabihin "" o i see ur upset you want it to move ok ok " parang ganun ( hirap iexplain sana maintindihan mo ang gulo ko) yun tell ur child daw what they want to hear tapos pag nakuha mo na yun attention niya tsaka mo iexplain bkit di pwede or bkit ganun nangyari,,you have to get his attention first yun daw secret,, for me nagwork yun as in i consider myself lucky kasi never kahit isang beses nagtantrums sa labas eldest ko since prinactice ko to sa bahay parang feeling ko alam niya na no need magtantrums kasi i understand him,,may isa pa sya sinabi pala yun "toddlerese" yun parang gagayahin mo yun salita niya which is ang bottom line din is to get his attention

Hope sa haba ng kwento ko makatulong hehe :)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: cheiz on July 16, 2008, 09:39:50 pm
Well, I'm not an expert on this field, yet. According to my MIL when our kids starts to have tantrum burst take a deep breath and always imagine how they are feeling. Syempre they (kids) are like midgets in giants world so everything to them is annimated so curious sila sa lahat ng bagay. Kaya pag may mga bagay silang gustong abutin,kunin or gawin and hindi nila ito makuha they cry and at the same time since they are still toodlers hindi pa sila marunong mag salita to say what they what. Sabi nga ng MIL ko PATIENCE.... MORE PATIENCE...
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: maphine on July 17, 2008, 08:04:41 am
Thanks mga mommies with your replies.I would really do that slowly to my kid.Your right PATIENCE is the key word. :D

Last night I read a lot of articles regarding tantrums and its possible causes. Some article noted that one cause may be: The child is not only wanting things that he likes but looking for the affection and attention that he used to have from the time that he learns to do his routines now. Like when a child learns to ride a bike with the help of his dad, up to the time that he would learn to drive the bike on his own, he would still look for his dad. It is a fact that boys need dads: Instinctively boys would be more comfortable with dads because they know their similarities.We should consider tantrums alarming when a child would want special attention from a person that he's looking for because this is the stage that the child's development will be based on how you deal with them with gender-gender participation in discipline and actions towards their acts.

I was alarmed with this because Ynzho might be looking for his dad. Before kasi we would take turns of playing with him pero ngayon sometimes he would be playing alone coz I have to do some chores pa.Sometimes he would do his tantrums just to catch my attention. So I was thinking may be my son needs and misses his dads comfort and attention now.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: youngmom on July 17, 2008, 03:10:35 pm
that's one possible reason.agree with sis javvy,sometimes u need to understand them to why they'r having tatrums,either bored,pagod na,gutom,antok na.yun kc possible reasons e,or naghahanap ng attention.i'm practicing this now with macky,pag iiyak nalang bigla,i carry him,kung naiyak pa din baka gutom,kung hind baka antok hele,kung hindi padin,i ask him what's wrong baby,and then shift ko attention niya with a toy,o kaya boses puppet then may puppet na kikiis siya(thisusually work talaga).
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: redq on September 24, 2008, 08:09:27 am
hi moms,

just want to share and ask help, i have this problem re: my 3yr old daughter's behaviour whenever she wants something and she can't get or have it, or even if you refused to give her what she likes, SOBRANG TANTRUM kahit manghihingi lang sya ng milk or water magwawala pa sya and sisigaw. minsan naman when she asked na gusto niya manood tapos hindi mo sya pinagbigyan kc time to sleep na, sobrang iiyak at sisgaw. i dont know? is this ok ba? ano ba dapat ko gawin, nag woworry kc ako.

i sent her to school just last week lang para kc ma-improove yung social skills niya, fist 3 days ayaw niya talaga pumasok and iyakl ng iyak w/c is definitely normal lang diba? 4th day naiiwan na sya sa loob pero ayaw niya mag participate, nanonood lang sya and when her taecher is inviting her to come with them she will just shout and will say "ayaw". up until now ganon cia. sabi nung teacher niya, mag seek daw ako ng advice or help sa mga Developmental Pedia, para malaman namin kung ano approach ang gagawin namin sa kanya. so un, plan ko give her a week to check if there is like big improovement pag still the same til the end of the week siguro i'l have to seek help na. ask lang po, may alam ba kayo, Developmental Pedia, na magaling of course... and how much ba usually un tsaka ano ginagawa? keep me posted naman po.  thanks a lot!


mom red
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: lane.platon on September 28, 2008, 10:22:09 pm
   Hi! We exactly have the same problem-i thought i was the only one who is in that kind of situation-Since Patrick is my only child-and considering that he doesn't have a dad-I try to give whatever he wants-He shouts most of the times when he wants something-and since hes a boy
  at his age(3) he still cant talk that well-I read from an article that usually 2 or 3 years old children specially boys,have these trantrums coz they try to communicate to adults using baby's language and the new words that they are learning-they still cant express exactly what they want or need coz maybe their language is limited-  so when they cant express it -they are helpless and the only way they know how to ask-"WHY CANT YOU UNDERSTAND ME??"  is thru shouting,crying or even throwing things at you- :) :)


  I also considered enrolling him-I was thinking maybe hes lonely or his attitude might change when            there are many friends or classmates around-but then again,I want him to enjoy his childhood as in no school no waking up in the morning or breaking his usual activities-and ofcourse, the tuition fee-I was so shocked to find out that even a very simple pre school with only 2 rooms nowadays, could cost 35k-45k
Im just thinking of teaching him by myself! hehe :D :D :D


Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: redq on September 30, 2008, 11:45:58 am
hi! thanks sa reply... pareho tayong newbie. you know what this time she is improving, nagpapaiwan na cia sa loob ng classroom and some of the activities nag paparticipate cia, though there are still times na she will told me that she does'nt want to go to school anymore, i'l just talk to her or i'l tell her na we will not going to her school but in her tita's house instead, pero sa school ko pa rin cia dadalhin, iiyak sya pero wala na cia magagawa. pero sabi naman ng mga teacher sa school nila ok lang daw yung ganon attitude but eventually she'll used to it esp pag everyday cia pumapasok. so far happy naman ako atleast diba nag improove cia, no need for dev. ped.

re: sa school ur right expensive nga, like in her school it's a totally play and learning school, they incorporate their teaching with dancing, singing, and playing. the teachers are teaching the kids also how to groom themselves, so when school is done once they go out of the classroom you'll see that they are clean, mabango hindi amoy maasim sa kalalaro, so ok talaga cia for me. however my kamahalan pero kc naisip ko un lang yung way for me siguro na ma improove yung social skill niya, since im working at night and my time is very limited para ipasyal ko pa sya everyday sa mall or sa iba iba place para maka-meet ng other kids diba, but i know there are some ways pa din, but for me applicable yung sending her at school w/c is good naman, siguro doble kayod na lang.....

my advice nama sau re: tantrums, my nabasa kc ako article sa isang parenting magz

Toddler: Tantrums

1. What causes tantrums?
Tantrums don't happen because toddlers are wilful and disobedient, or because you have raised a dreadful child! They simply occur because toddlers haven't learned to accept frustration. When they want to do something but can't, they are overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness and dissatisfaction. The tantrum is simply a release of those feelings. It might help to know that tantrums are common among toddlers. It's estimated that the majority of 2-year-olds have a tantrum at least once a week, which may last from 15 to 30 minutes.

2. Preventing tantrums
There are certain steps you can take to help reduce tantrums. Here are some techniques that might help ward off your child's next tantrum:

    * Limit your toddler's access to toys and activities that are fascinating but too difficult for his age.
    * Watch for fatigue and make sure your child has adequate rest.
    * Look out for signs of over stimulation and when they occur switch the child to a calmer activity.
    * Try to keep "no's" and "don'ts" to a minimum. Instead of "no's" offer distractions and alternatives: Show how to smell the flowers instead of picking them, for example.

3. Getting through a tantrum
Tantrums will end sooner if you simply let them run their course. While it's going on, your toddler needs a sense of your calm control to feel safe. So, try to remember that the tantrum serves a purpose. It's a release of rage caused by feelings of frustration, not hostility.

Sometimes a toddler needs to be left alone in a time out–but never out of sight– and just for a short while. At other times it helps to simply hold the upset child in a gentle and loving embrace. If a tantrum happens in public, it's a good idea to take your toddler to some quiet, relatively private spot until tempers cool.

4. Keep your cool, mom
One of the most difficult challenges is to keep calm in the face of a small child's uncontrolled fury. Yet an angry reaction from you is sure to make your child's tantrum even worse.

As your toddler comes out of the tantrum, offer reassurance and praise for regaining control. Try to forget the upset and look for cheering things to say. The more stable and positive you can be during and after tantrums, the easier it will be for your child to control outbursts of temper as life goes on.

hope this will help. thanks! GOD BLESS!!!

mom red




Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: chloe_mom on November 15, 2008, 12:27:15 am
Thank you for the enlightenment... Minsan nga naiisip ko san ba ako nagkamali sa pagpapalaki sa 4-yo daughter ko.  She is okay naman at home but challenge na pag nakakita ng kalaro or nasa school.  Either ayaw na umuwi or ayaw makipaglaro.  Parang she is possessive. Kasi pag may stranger sa kanya o hindi niya type na kinakausap ako kahit friend ko, ayaw niya.  Nagsusungit.  She pulls me away or shouts sa kausap ko.  Pansin ko din when she gets overwhelmed with too much attention from not so familiar people, she gets into this behavior.

Not all toddlers are like that kaya minsan, napapaisip ako pag nakakakita ako ng mga "behave" lang.  i do not compare her, though, kasi damaging yun sa self-esteem niya.  She doesn't even like some of her teachers.  Sinasabi niyang "ayoko sa yo!" during "those days".

I observed, though, that more hugs, "I love yous", kisses and pats on the back make a lot of difference.  The frequency and intensity of the tantrums are lessened.  Talking to her at home about such incidents or "misbehaviors" also help.  After processing the whole thing, she has to realize that things are not always according to her standards or ways.  At sinasabi kong love-love naman talaga siya but mali yung ginawa niya.  I make her promise not to do it again when I know na na-realize na niya at wala na talaga siyang resistance.

Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: kalix on November 19, 2008, 10:41:55 am
my son is turning 5 tomorrow, & thankful ako kasi never pa syang nagtantrum tuwing lalabas kami or nasa mall. pag may gusto naman sya i'll just talk to him sa mahinahon na paraan of course normal lang na umiyak sya pero afterwards wala na. madali lang kasi syang i-pacify. napaka-calm nga daw nyang bata. :)if he wants something at hindi namin kaya at the moment ini explain ko sa kanya. & then i give him other things na magugustuhan niya na hindi kailangan gumastos ng malaki. & i'm proud to say na napaka understanding nyang bata at his age. :) & everyday yan mommies, kinakausap ko sya, about anything! especially bago kami matulog. kung anong ginawa niya, nag-enjoy ba sya, etc. that way alam ko kung anong nararamdaman without forcing him. at na-eexpress pa niya sarili niya. at nasasabi niya pag galit sya, malungkot o masaya sya. at pag galit sya even before binibigyan ko sya ng oras para ma-calm down. tatanungin ko bakit sya galit & i give him outlet para mailabas niya. ex. pag galit na galit sya at gusto nyang manakit. sabi ko suntukin niya yung unan pero hindi kahit kanino. pag naisuntok na niya, bigla din syang mangingiti (nawewerduhan siguro sa ginagawa niya ;D) then parang wlang nangyari. at sa awa ng Dyos never pa syang nanakit ng ibang bata unless, sinaktan sya...

another thing is i've earned his trust. everytime may pupuntahan kami sinasabi ko kung san kami pupunta, anong gagawain namin, anong meron doon at anong i-eexpect ko sa kanya (good behaviour). though normal lang na pag andon sa place eh maglilikot wag lang mananakit or display any bad behaviour. kaya tuwing aalis kami tinatanong niya nako..the same din  pag pupunta kami sa dr niya. pag magva-vaccine sya i tell him, na tutusukan sya. na masakit yun pero sandali lang at mawawala din.expected ko na ayaw niya at matatakot sya pero i tell him na kailanagan niya para hindi sya magkasakit at andon ako para samahan sya. he really trust me up to now. pag sinabi ko naniniwala talaga sya, at pag scared sya i just let him, iniexpress talaga niya feelings niya at the moment na hindi sya natatakot na baka pagalitan ko sya. at kahit paulit ulit nyang tinatanong sakin paulit ulit at mahinahon ko pa rin syang sinasagot. saka sya titigil. natatawa ngako eh paglabas niya ng clinic ni dra, pagkatapos nyang inject at umiyak, sasabihin niya sakin, "tama ka mommy masakit nga pero sandali lang, ang brave ko di ba mommy?" ;D...same din sa school hindi din ako nagkaproblema sa kanya. same din ginawa ko, sinabi ko lahat anong makikita niya don,sinong mga makakasama niya, anong gagawin nila at hindi nyako makakasama sa loob...

i think ang key dito eh communication, teach them how to express their feelings na it's ok to feel that way, earn his/her trust & most especially show your love & appreciation... :)

there's no manual/book on how to be good parents. habang tumatagal natutunan din naman natin maging magulang hindi man perpekto, importante eh maging mapagmahal na magulang sa kanila. sakin importante kilala ko anak ko, alam ko kung anong gusto at ayaw niya. kung anong kaya at limitasyon niya. sa ganon malalaman mo kung pano mo sya iha-handle. you can start it from there. ganon din satin mga mommies...at pag di natin maituro sa kanila kung ano man gusto natin, don't feel bad, loosen up there's still ways. ;) :) :D ;D
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Mommy Lasty on November 23, 2008, 10:22:29 pm
Hi share ko rin un behavior ng 4year old baby girl ko... nung time na wala pang yaya un anak ko un tantrums niya normal at handle ko talaga as in nakakausap ko sya ng maayos then titigil na sya at sobrang okay naman sya like na kakain na sya mag-isa, naaayos niya ang mga toys niya after nyang maglaro and everything... ang problem ko lang sa kanya dati kapag gigising sya talagang mahirap at umiiyak... then nung may this 2008 kumuha ako ng yaya niya age 16years old kasi di ko na sya maaasikaso ng fulltime coz during that time eh pregnant ako then nanganak ako ng august this year lang... after that that wala pang 1month un yaya ng anak ko nagbago na din un anak ko lagi na syang sumisigaw, nananakit, laging umiiyak kapag me gusto, mahirap pakainin, takot maligo at mdami pa... ano kaya sa palagay nyo ang naging problem niya? kasi nahihirapan na ko sa kanya dahil di ko na sya mainitindihan at minsan napapalo ko sya dahil para lang tumigil. help please! thanks.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: anne.nanay on November 24, 2008, 11:30:43 am
when we were growing hindi ubra ang tantrums sa mommy ko.. she would let us cry until mapagod kami,,i can still rememeber and laugh at this na umiyak ako from sm cubao til sa house novaliches.. hindi niya talaga kami aamuhin.. hindi pwede sa kanya yung dadain sa iyak para lang ibigay yung gusto.. hindi siya nhihiya na umiiyak yung anak niya sa mall... kaya lesson is to let kids cry basta hindi nasasaktan, check on them from time to time, they use tantrums to get things according to what they want. and for us parents, just to stop them, bigay na lang.. hahaha
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: crazysexycool on November 24, 2008, 11:51:32 am
Sabi din ng mom ko, mas madali magpalago ng negosyo kesa magpalaki ng anak. Lagi nyang sinasabi let your NO be NO and your YES be YES. Kasi children resort to crying, tapos bibigay ka rin, iiyak na lang sha palagi para makuha gusto niya.
 
My 3-year old boy is diagnosed by a Developmental Pediatrician with Hyperactivity, 3 months yung initial therapy namin, ok naman. Medyo naiiyak lang ako kasi parang turture sa bata pag nakita OT niya, alam niya he's being disciplined. Bawal din kasi magwatch while the therapy is on-going kaya aalis ako saka babalikan when the session is finished. Yung advise lang ni Teacher, wag mong papaluin kasi alam niya mapapalo sha, reverse psychology kumbaga, but be firm, show him who's boss.

Ok na kami ngayon, it paid off, pero check pa din every 3 months, just to make sure...
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: kalix on November 24, 2008, 03:09:30 pm
Hi share ko rin un behavior ng 4year old baby girl ko... nung time na wala pang yaya un anak ko un tantrums niya normal at handle ko talaga as in nakakausap ko sya ng maayos then titigil na sya at sobrang okay naman sya like na kakain na sya mag-isa, naaayos niya ang mga toys niya after nyang maglaro and everything... ang problem ko lang sa kanya dati kapag gigising sya talagang mahirap at umiiyak... then nung may this 2008 kumuha ako ng yaya niya age 16years old kasi di ko na sya maaasikaso ng fulltime coz during that time eh pregnant ako then nanganak ako ng august this year lang... after that that wala pang 1month un yaya ng anak ko nagbago na din un anak ko lagi na syang sumisigaw, nananakit, laging umiiyak kapag me gusto, mahirap pakainin, takot maligo at mdami pa... ano kaya sa palagay nyo ang naging problem niya? kasi nahihirapan na ko sa kanya dahil di ko na sya mainitindihan at minsan napapalo ko sya dahil para lang tumigil. help please! thanks.
mommy, hindi kaya tinatakot o sinasaktan sya ng yaya niya?sana naman hindi...kasi naexperience ko yan dati sa son ko. nagwowork kasi ako non, walang problema sa behaviour ng son ko pero mula nung yung kasambahay na namin nagaalaga sa kanya kakaiba na behaviour niya. inobserbahan ko sya. everytime na lalapit yung kasambahay ko, sinisigawan sya ng anak ko at ayaw magpaiwan sa kanya.so alam ko na na baka may ginagawa sa anak ko. kaya sinabihan ko agad SIL, mom ko at even mga pinsan ko na bantayan at obserbahan ang kasambhay ko pag inaalagaan ang anak ko. at everytime darating ako i asked my son how was his day. at anong ginawa niya, nila ng kasambahay namin. at na mention nga ng son ko na "bad" daw si jenny. hindi niya ina ate dati inaate niya. isa daw syang "witch". tuwing inaalagaan niya anak ko, at silang dalawa lang sa kwarto, bigla na lang akong susulpot para makita ko kung ano man ginagawa niya sa anak ko. kinuwento nga  nga mga pinsan ko na sinisigawan niya daw anak ko at pilit pinapaligpit mga toys niya. kaya pinaalis ko na lang sya. at ang worst, inginudngud daw ng kasambahay ko sa bibig ng anak ko yung tetra pack na juice. pero saka lang sinabi sakin nung nakaalis na. kaya galit na galit ako. kaya observe mo din sis yung yaya ng anak ko mo. at tanungin mo daughter mo...another thing, baka din naghahanap ng attention kasi nga may bago ng baby. have time together without the baby, bonding din kayo. baka yun lang yung hinihintay ng daughter mo... hope it helps! ;) :)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Mommy Lasty on November 27, 2008, 07:31:33 pm
thank you mommy kalix... observe ko yaya and daughter ko.. and more time to my panganay. god bless.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: kalix on November 29, 2008, 08:26:51 pm
thank you mommy kalix... observe ko yaya and daughter ko.. and more time to my panganay. god bless.
welcome sis! God Bless din :)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: mamakat on August 04, 2009, 10:41:41 am
 my son is now 1 year and 3 months and he usullay shouts and cries pag may gusto siyang gawin tapos di pwede. he insists on doing what he wants or else magpo power tripping siya. ganun ba talaga ang mga boys?
 i haven't experienced this with my daughter who is now 7 years old.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: mariann on August 16, 2009, 05:37:15 pm
as much as possible, i didn't mind my kids when they start to have tantrums so hindi sila nasanay na mag-tantrums when they want something...

but with iza, when she wants something and her yaya cannot understand her, she stomps her feet to express her irritation.

we also don't mind them if they are whining para hindi ma-encourage.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: yummymom on August 16, 2009, 07:35:57 pm
Sis mamakat, my 2 year old son super tantrums din sha, he usually destroy his toys, tinatapon din, hay naku, mukhang ganito ata mga boys eh.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Mac.Rodriguez on August 16, 2009, 07:43:28 pm
naku sis... my son who is 1yr & 5months throws a fit everytime he doesn't get what he wants or he gets frustrated or when i say "no". he'll sit down or try to lie down on the floor and scream his lungs out!  ??? or he suddenly bends his head backwards which is really dangerous 'coz if you don't catch him, he'll fall down and hit his head on the floor. grabe! nakakasira ng ulo!  :o

my niece is very gentle naman. she just cries... medyo mahaba lang but doesn't really throw a fit on you. i think its a "boy" thingy...
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: hazelingrid.. on August 16, 2009, 09:29:29 pm
hi mommies..gnyan din po baby ko 1 yr and 1 week sya..pag nakain kami sa mcdonalds and may hwak syng fries pag ubos n yung fries de siyempre papalitan ko na aun sisigaw sya ng sooper lakas hehe nhhya n nga ako kc ako ang tintgnan ng mga tao..:)kala niya kc agaw ko yung fries niya:)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: mamakat on August 18, 2009, 10:21:36 am
mga mommies, thanks for your replies! it helps to know parang it's a boy thing na they behave that way!  ;)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: mumy-jan on August 18, 2009, 12:11:24 pm
naku sis... my son who is 1yr & 5months throws a fit everytime he doesn't get what he wants or he gets frustrated or when i say "no". he'll sit down or try to lie down on the floor and scream his lungs out!  ??? or he suddenly bends his head backwards which is really dangerous 'coz if you don't catch him, he'll fall down and hit his head on the floor. grabe! nakakasira ng ulo!  :o

my niece is very gentle naman. she just cries... medyo mahaba lang but doesn't really throw a fit on you. i think its a "boy" thingy...

naku ganyan din si jacob ko, everytime I say "no" to him humihiga siya sa floor then IYAK ng malakas.. tapos nagpapa-awa, naghahanap ng kakampi..  >:( naiinis ako kapag ganun siya kasi nagppspoil siya..
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: liamviem on August 20, 2009, 09:57:53 am
my problem with my 1.7 year old son is that nagtatantrums sya whenever he sees his grandma na which is my MIL..sinanay kasi ng MIL ko na kapag pinagsasabihan ko eh anjan na sya agad, kukunin niya..which is really not advisable i think..kasi ayaw na sa kin nung bunso ko..hindi naman kasi ganito yung eldest ko (4 year old girl).parang masyadong naiispoiled ng MIL ko kaya ako ang nagkakaproblema..hay wala na lang akong maagawa i end up crying kasi kapag kinukuha sa kin parang ako yung contra bida  :-[
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: precios on August 20, 2009, 10:18:13 am
haaayy,
yan ang problema ko sa boy ko,,he is now 2.6 years old,,magagalit sya pg d makuha ang gusto,,at kung anong mahawakan itapon,,may kapatid sya na girl 8 months old,,lage nalang inaaway,,ng seselos sya pg di napansin agad,,gusto siya lage mauna,,which is hindi pwidi na sya unahin always,,kaya minsan napapalo ko sya,,nakakatawa nga kasi every time na makagawa ng kasalanan mg sorry agad at hindi titigil hangat walang sagot na okay,,,maya maya ulit na naman..haayyy,,panu kaya yan,,minsa nakakapagod.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: mamakat on August 20, 2009, 02:15:41 pm
my problem with my 1.7 year old son is that nagtatantrums sya whenever he sees his grandma na which is my MIL..sinanay kasi ng MIL ko na kapag pinagsasabihan ko eh anjan na sya agad, kukunin niya..which is really not advisable i think..kasi ayaw na sa kin nung bunso ko..hindi naman kasi ganito yung eldest ko (4 year old girl).parang masyadong naiispoiled ng MIL ko kaya ako ang nagkakaproblema..hay wala na lang akong maagawa i end up crying kasi kapag kinukuha sa kin parang ako yung contra bida  :-[
ay naku mommy, di naman ata tama yun. ikaw ang mother so kung paano mo idiscipline yung anak mo ikaw na bahala dun. ask your hubby kung pwede di makialam MIL mo kasi he will bring that attitude paglaki niya. you will forever be kontrabida in his life. sa akin kasi di uubra ang mga in-laws ko sa akin. ako nasusunod dahil ako naman ang mother. pag ayaw ko ayaw ko talaga and wala silang magawa. alam ko naman ata what's right and wrong kasi in the end ako magkakaproblema so while bata pa dapat matakot din sila or bigyan ng respeto ang magulang nila.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: liamviem on August 20, 2009, 07:17:22 pm
my problem with my 1.7 year old son is that nagtatantrums sya whenever he sees his grandma na which is my MIL..sinanay kasi ng MIL ko na kapag pinagsasabihan ko eh anjan na sya agad, kukunin niya..which is really not advisable i think..kasi ayaw na sa kin nung bunso ko..hindi naman kasi ganito yung eldest ko (4 year old girl).parang masyadong naiispoiled ng MIL ko kaya ako ang nagkakaproblema..hay wala na lang akong maagawa i end up crying kasi kapag kinukuha sa kin parang ako yung contra bida  :-[
ay naku mommy, di naman ata tama yun. ikaw ang mother so kung paano mo idiscipline yung anak mo ikaw na bahala dun. ask your hubby kung pwede di makialam MIL mo kasi he will bring that attitude paglaki niya. you will forever be kontrabida in his life. sa akin kasi di uubra ang mga in-laws ko sa akin. ako nasusunod dahil ako naman ang mother. pag ayaw ko ayaw ko talaga and wala silang magawa. alam ko naman ata what's right and wrong kasi in the end ako magkakaproblema so while bata pa dapat matakot din sila or bigyan ng respeto ang magulang nila.

korek kajan sis..kaya nga di pa ko makapagwork dahil jan..yung nephew ni hubby na MIL ko nagpalaki naku sobrang stubborn and impossible..nafufrustrate na nga ako eh kasi pinipilit kong di magaya yung baby ko sa kuya cousin niya..hay
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: εїз" Mrs.Pisces "εїз on August 20, 2009, 07:32:59 pm
sis baby yuri 1year and 3months pag hindi mo binigay yung gusto niya. as in umiiyak sya tapos pag binuhat mo naman kakagatin ka at magpapadulas para maibaba mo sya then pag nasa floor na sya dun sya hihiga at pagulong gulong ..

mga sis first time mom po ako hindi ko po kasi alam if bakit ganito ang baby ko.. as in marunong na po syang manakit kahit wala pong nagtuturo sa kanya. kanina yung cousin niya. ayaw ibigay yung car niya. nilapitan niya tapos pinalo niya. nagulat nga po ako eh. kasi hindi ko alam saan niya nakuha yung ganung ugali.. then napaisip ako hindi kaya sa akin? kasi may mga times na napapalo ko si baby pero hindi naman masakit..
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: mamakat on August 21, 2009, 07:20:19 pm
sis baby yuri 1year and 3months pag hindi mo binigay yung gusto niya. as in umiiyak sya tapos pag binuhat mo naman kakagatin ka at magpapadulas para maibaba mo sya then pag nasa floor na sya dun sya hihiga at pagulong gulong ..

mga sis first time mom po ako hindi ko po kasi alam if bakit ganito ang baby ko.. as in marunong na po syang manakit kahit wala pong nagtuturo sa kanya. kanina yung cousin niya. ayaw ibigay yung car niya. nilapitan niya tapos pinalo niya. nagulat nga po ako eh. kasi hindi ko alam saan niya nakuha yung ganung ugali.. then napaisip ako hindi kaya sa akin? kasi may mga times na napapalo ko si baby pero hindi naman masakit..

di naman ata sayo nakuha mommy kasi like me pinapalo ko rin anak ko pag sobra naand pag ayaw makinig kung pinapakiusapan. tapos, explain ko rin bakit ko pinalo.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Mommy Jazz on August 21, 2009, 09:10:14 pm
My 2yo boy has a temperament prob. Dati akala naming mag asawa it's just a phase, but when we took him to a Development Pedia to check on his speech delay, this temperament problem was seen. Excessive daw sabi nung Doctor.
He can cry forever if his needs are not met. Masyado pang clingy, hindi ako makahiwalay, kahit sa bathroom sinasama ko siya dahil iiyak when I'm out of his sight. Eto po ang mga actions namin as per our Mother-Child Psychologist.
1) pag hindi pwede yung hinihingi niya, let him cry. Expect that his cries will get louder and stronger for a few days, to a week. You have to be firm and ignore him. Huwag palo, it  will not work, it will even aggravate the stress and situation. Ignoring him wil make him realize after a few days that his tantrums doesn't work anymore. Masakit man sa tenga, you have to go through this.
2)Pag tumahimik, that's when you give his request or reward him.
About his clingy behavior
1)separate yourself 30mins/day everyday increasing it gradually. Stay at home Mom kasi ako that's why it's hard for me to stay away from his sight, so I lock myself in the bedroom. Then it turned out, sa akin lang siya umiiyak ng sobra. When he's alone woth his Dad, sandali lang ang iyak niya.

Through the recommendation of the Developmental Pedia, we had him undergo Occupational Therapy. Their activities include
1) playing with toys that can practice patience like building blocks, stringing beads, floor puzzles and other toys with an "ending".
2)obstacle course game wherein he has to complete a set of task and get a reward game at the end of each task.
3)bounce him on the pilates ball. This calms him down. Ewan kung bakit. It works better than soothing him. I gues iba-iba ang behavior talaga ng mga bata.

He's doing OT 2x/wk for 2 1/2 months now and his change in behavior has been satisfactory. There are still occassional tantrums at hinahayaan ko syang maglupasay sa sahig pag hindi talaga pwede. Ang advice kasi nung therapist, I should have the last say, hindi siya yung magdi-dictate sa akin kaya ako nahirapan because I am being manipulated. It's a difficult transition but worth it.

Eto yung isang scenario na naging turning point namin. He always want to be carried at masakit nang talaga sa braso at likod. We were walking home one day and he started to throw a tantrum in the street because he wants to be lifted. I let him cry while pulling his hand up so he wont lie down on the pavement. I kept dragging him to walk and cautious for him not to trip. It's tough love. After 5 meters of agony, he stopped crying and started walking straight but still sobbing. So I loosened my grip and we walked all the way home. That was a moment I realized I am the boss, not the slave. I seemed to have proven myself to him because since then, he knows I don't buy his tantrum anymore.

Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Mom Massage on December 15, 2009, 11:55:31 am
My wife and I came across this site (by Chris Thompson) that proved very helpful with raising our 3 year old son.

http://www.talkingtotoddlers.com/hg/?a=TQn4EQS4HH

Not only is it effective on our son, it also proved effective on our friend's daughter. We were at a get-together last night when our friend's daughter got hold of our other friend's cellphone thus giving her (our other friend) a little problem leaving for work. Everyone else tried to persuade her into returning the phone from distracting her with a video to showing her her favorite toy. I approached the situation using one of the techniques I learned from the site. In a few seconds, our friend's cellphone was with me.

Up to now, these techniques still amaze me.


http://www.talkingtotoddlers.com/hg/?a=TQn4EQS4HH
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Mom Massage on December 15, 2009, 12:24:23 pm
We had the same problems you guys have with our now 3 year old son.

OT really helped a lot with his discipline.

Another thing that also helped was the site that we saw through surfing the web:
http://www.talkingtotoddlers.com/hg/?a=TQn4EQS4HH

This site gave us very effective tips and techniques on communicating with our little boy.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: mariann on December 19, 2009, 11:50:19 am
when my kids started showing signs of tantrums, i ignore them. be it in a public place or at home.
 
e.g. when my eldest was about to throw a fit at toy kingdom when she was about 2 years old, i simply ignore her and went my way to another store. right there and then, she stopped knowing nobody would mind her or get the things she wants.
 
with my little one iza, i just hug her when she's being unreasonable and talk calmly to her.
 
so walang tantrums mga kids ko.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: amber on December 26, 2009, 10:59:27 pm
sobrang mag-tantrum si baby, pag hindi nakuha ang gusto niya ayun pahirapan na. kahit na he's too young to understand certain things, i make sure na i'm being consistent with my words. kapag sinabi ko na "NO", hindi talaga pwede kahit ano pang gawin niya. kapag pinagbigyan kase every time na magtatantrum siya ay magiging habit niya na yun kapag may nagustuhan siya.

minsan nakakaawa na kase sobrang umiiyak kaya dini-divert ko na lang ang attention niya  ayun effective naman, tumatahan at balik na ulit sa dati parang walang nangyari
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: amber on January 11, 2010, 06:40:08 am
sobra ding magtantrums si baby.gusto palagi siya ang nasusunod. ;Dlalo na sa food pag nakita ka niyang kumakain, sisigaw na lang yun bigla.kaya di ako nagpapakita pag umiinom ng softdrinks at kumakain ng chips..hehe madalas pa pag may nadampot na bagay tapos kukunin mo iiyak ng todo-todo..

Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: toughmom moderator on April 17, 2011, 08:43:27 pm
Related SP topic: Could my Child be Bipolar?

Common symptoms presented by children with bipolar disorder include:
•    low self-esteem
•    difficulty getting up in the morning
•    giddiness
•    distractibility
•    explosive temper tantrums

read more:
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/toddler/development-child-care/could-my-child-be-bipolar
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: toughmom moderator on October 13, 2011, 07:43:52 am
Real moms tell us what works for them in pacifying their children when they act up.
"'deadma' works best"
"We explain why they can't get what they want"
"I explain how it affects them and Mommy"
"We teach her to answer, 'Yes Mommy. I will not do it again.'"
"We taught him that he should 'earn' it by being a good boy.”

Read what other moms shared on Dealing with your Toddler’s Tantrums : Real Moms Speak Out
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/toddler/behavior/dealing-with-your-toddler-s-tantrums-real-moms-speak-out

(http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/images/site-alpha/articles/tantrums.jpg)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: momaye on October 19, 2011, 01:57:56 pm
naku this is a problem i feared a lot. i am a working mom, and this double the problem. but anyways, marami resources from the web which we can read to atleast understand the situation of our growing toddler. my son though very sweet has a hobby na lulundag o liliyad pag di naibigay ang gusto niya. ang ginagawa namin we will distract him and take him away from the source of his tantrums. it will work naman but still merun un times na ayaw paawat. pansin naman pag inaantok sya. as i understand toddlers are not capable of controlling their emotions so they end up screaming, crying and un iba naglulupasay pa nga. the thing is we need to know first why he is acting like that. we should not scream at them kasi lalo nila gagawin un. most of the times gusto lang nila makuha attentions natin. tantrums can not be prevented completely but we can help them control their feeling by teaching them the positive discipline. and syempre, parents must stay calm during the process. if we will equal the same emotions of our toddlers it will just add up to the problem. best is try our best to make them listen to us and just love them the way they are, whether they at their angel or monster mode. :)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Anne Mercado on October 19, 2011, 06:06:00 pm
I agree with a lot of the posts here! When a toddler is having a tantrum just ignore, ignore ignore. No matter how long it takes, just ignore her. Eventually she will get tired and learn na when she shouts, walang pumapansin so bakit pa niya gagawin yun?

Although remember that they will still have this behavior since they still can't express themselves. Toddles scream when they don't get what they want kasi they can't talk yet and tell you straight about how they feel.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: carlsant on November 20, 2011, 03:07:45 pm
hi, can you please give me kasi yung nephew ko kapag sinasama sa mall et turo ng turo at kapag hindi binili or pinagbigyan eh nagwawala at naglulupasay sa pag-iyak. What is the best thing to do?
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: momaye on November 21, 2011, 03:38:35 pm
hi, can you please give me kasi yung nephew ko kapag sinasama sa mall et turo ng turo at kapag hindi binili or pinagbigyan eh nagwawala at naglulupasay sa pag-iyak. What is the best thing to do?

how old na your nephew? tantrums are normal but we should control them too, hinde un sila magccontrol stin.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: annamariemomof3 on November 23, 2011, 08:28:15 am
the best thing is not to give in to what he wants. minsan kasi para tumigil na lang kasi nakakahiya pingatitinginan kayo ibibigay nyo na lang ang gusto which is bad kasi ang tatalino kaya ng mga bata, once na narealize niya na kapag nagtantrums siya eh makukuha niya gusto niya uulit ulitin niya hanggang sa makalakhan na niya yung gawain na yun. stand your ground and set the rules. mappagod din yan at marerealize niya na he cannot get his way.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: momaye on November 24, 2011, 10:19:12 am
you may wnat to check this post of mine regarding taoddler's tantrums http://momayes.blogspot.com/2011/10/dealing-with-our-toddlers-tantrums.html (http://momayes.blogspot.com/2011/10/dealing-with-our-toddlers-tantrums.html)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Anne Mercado on December 01, 2011, 07:14:17 pm
I looked at your post Momaye and I agree that one of the best things to do is to ignore or distract kids who have tantrums. A tantrum is just an attention-seeking behavior because kids cant express themselves well or regulate their emotions, the way adults do.

So, if a kid has a tantrum, try to figure out why he is agitated first, then tell him in a calm voice that you will only mind him when he behaves. From there, no matter how much he cries or screams, just don't mind him.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: momaye on December 02, 2011, 08:13:27 am
I looked at your post Momaye and I agree that one of the best things to do is to ignore or distract kids who have tantrums. A tantrum is just an attention-seeking behavior because kids cant express themselves well or regulate their emotions, the way adults do.

So, if a kid has a tantrum, try to figure out why he is agitated first, then tell him in a calm voice that you will only mind him when he behaves. From there, no matter how much he cries or screams, just don't mind him.

Thank you for visiting my blog. medyo busy lang that is why hinde makaupdate ng posts but i really have so many topics i want to discuss like milk and rda, cloth diaper etc. kaya lang im still compiling reseaches pa. im a working mom kaya masingit singit lang ito.

you are right na habang pinapansin ang mga bata lalo silang nagtatantrums. when it is uncontrollable na talaga, you can distract them. mahirap talagang makalakihan ang ganitong ugali to the point na halos magpakamatay sa pagiyak para lang makuha ang gusto.

that is why as a first time mom, pag may nakikita ako unwanted attitudes ng son ko, nagreresearch ako at nakikipaginteract with other moms. though hinde pare-pareho ang bata, for sure you can learn 1 or 2 lessons naman.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Anne Mercado on December 06, 2011, 08:02:03 pm
You're welcome. I enjoyed looking around your blog :) And I also agree that the best way to approach parenting is through research and interacting with other moms. You are right that all kids are different but they need the same thing (ex: consistency, discipline and encouragement).
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Lelen on December 12, 2011, 12:51:13 pm
I just had experience of this last sat sa mall with my 19 mo old son! Hindi naman because hindi nabili ang gusto niya kase ala pa syang idea sa shopping, (thank God!)

My son loves wheels! Anything na me wheels, un agad ang kinakalikot. Nung sat, yung wheels ng stroller niya ang kinakalikot, When I said no! Hala, ayan na, he threw a tantrum na akala mo aping-api. What I did was, I carried him away from the place, I let him cry and yell. Deadma lang ako. After like a minute, ok na ulit sya. And I was really pleased, hindi ko sya pinagalitan, hindi ko sya inamo-amo, but it worked like magic. I just have to master this art of deadma!  ;D
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: smoothie on December 12, 2011, 01:59:14 pm
I just let him cry and ignore him. maya maya siya na lalapit tapos maglalambing sa akin. hehe
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: twelvth_goddess on December 21, 2011, 03:07:35 pm
It's hard kapag sa labas ng house nagta-tantrums ang kid cus you not only have to deal with a crying kid but you also have to deal with your own stress.

Zoe, at 14 months, is quite assertive. When she wants something, talagang she would really pursue it. Pag hinde pinagbigyan minsan uupo sa floor or iiyak. May isang beses pa yan na sumuot sa ilalim ng bed, nakakaloka. When she has tantrums, I try my best to stop myself from reacting negatively or abruptly. I check muna kung she's hungry or her nappy needs to be changed, or baka naman yung tantrums around her nap time na. As early as now, I talk to her and help her name her feelings kahit umiiyak sya. I ask 'are you hungry?' 'are you sleepy?' ganyan ganyan. Pag wala talaga and umaarte arte lang, I would tell her na I need to do something and she can talk to me when she's done crying/rolling on the floor. Tapos deadma na ko, I read a book or whatever basta sure lang ako na walang something na makakasakit sa kanya.

Nung nagsuot sya sa ilalim ng bed, medyo nainis ako talaga and nataasan ko ng boses. So as expected, iyak pa din. I just picked her up and put her in the mattress tapos hinde ko na pinansin hanggang she stopped crying. Nung tumahan na, saka ko niyakap. Challenging lang magpasensya lalo na pag medyo pagod tapos may ganong moments. Pero I'm trying to be as patient as I can.

Yung naglulupasay sa mall, pag ginawa niya yon sis, I suggest you pick him up and remove him fom the situation. Kase kahit na sya naman may gusto maglupasay, nae-embarass din sya na ganon ang ginagawa niya. Pag inilabas mo sya, iiyak pa din yan pero try to take him into a more secluded place tapos pabayaan mo mapagod umiyak. Pag napagbigyan kase yan, magiging weapon na nila yan. My 2 nephews, ganyan before. Pero ngayon, they have learned that when they go to a toystore, they can either get 1 toy or nothing at all.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: momaye on December 21, 2011, 03:54:23 pm
kelangan talaga hinde nila makalakihan un attitude nila na ito. its hard for our part kasi sometimes we feel guilty in tolerating them. kaya lang eventually it will naman. just make sure not to hurt them and if you does tell them why. don't ever tell them na kaya mo sila nasakatan kasi mahal mo sya kasi pag lumaki sya there's a tendency they will associate hurting with love. basta iparamdam lang natin na as always we are here for them but of course we can not give them all they want because they must also learn their limitations. sabi ng iba hayaan lang kasi bata pa which is wrong. habang maihuhulma pa natin sila gawin natin kasi pag malaki na sila hinde na natin sila matuturuan or it will be harder for us. yes, iba iba nga talaga ang mga bata at nasa ating mga magulang kung paano natin sila didisiplinahin.

i have a blog that you can visit. please leave a comment and let me know what topics would you want me to discuss. i can do research for you basta i hav etime. im a working mom kasi.

here's my blog: http://momayes.blogspot.com/ (http://momayes.blogspot.com/)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: mothadearest on December 28, 2011, 06:16:57 pm
Best to just let them cry. If you give in, they will learn that is the way to get what they want.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Anne Mercado on January 19, 2012, 08:26:02 pm
Best to just let them cry. If you give in, they will learn that is the way to get what they want.

Agree. It's difficult lang kasi you are in a public setting while they are wailing. Remember that if you soothe them while crying (meaning you give into their wants because they are having a tantrums) you are just encouraging negative behavior.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: keiko21be on May 28, 2012, 02:38:39 pm
I am a working mother of 2 wonderful kids (a boy and a girl). I am looking for a child psychologist because I am seeing changes/problems with my eldest (a boy) regarding his behavior. He is impatient, always having tantrums about everything even with small things and he is always angry. He is telling that he hates his life and we don't love him anymore. It started when her little sister came (everything is fine but now they would fight over toys and attention) and because he is the only child for 6 years and we think that he thinks that all the attention and love is no longer given to him.

All the people around him (his grandparents and aunts) are seeing the mood / behavioral change in him.

I am having a hard time deciding if this is just a phase, like a sibling rivalry; or if I need a professional help.

Hope anyone or someone can share or suggest something that we can do to help him.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: mommatn on May 30, 2012, 01:50:31 am
Hi Mommies. I also have problems with my 18 mos old baby boy (unico hijo). Pero it's not about tantrums pag hindi nakukuha ang gusto. Well, ginagawa niya rin naman umiyak at maglumpasay sa floor pag may hindi sya nakuha but I let him do it at tumitigil naman pagnapapagod. But my major problem is, takot sya sa tao lalo na pag una syang pinansin hindi yung sya unang namansin. Before napakafriendly ng baby ko, lahat ng tao nginingitian pero ngayon nagtatantrums na kahit relatives namin ni hubby ang nakikita niya. Gusto niya lang sa akin, pero sinasaktan niya ko pag ayaw niya sa mga tao, sinasabunutan, kinakagat at kinukurot niya ako ng bongga. Hindi sya nananakit ng ibang tao. Kami lang ni hubby ang sinasaktan niya pag nagwawala sya. Ang hirap lang kasi wala syang ibang nakikita sa bahay kundi kami lang ni Hubby. May kalaro naman syang neighbors minsan pero pag hindi niya feel yung mga tao nagwawala talaga sya at ako na ang kawawa for sure. One time nagstay kami sa family ko kasi may team outing si Hubby. Parang nakaglue sa akin si baby kasi ayaw nyang sumama sa mom ko, lola ko, sa lahat ng relatives ko. Pag nakikita na nyang papalapit na sila, yayakap na sya ng mahigpit sakin at kukurutin, sasabunutan at kakagatin na niya ako. Ang hirap ng ganito. Everytime may gathering ganito rin ang nangyayari sa amin. Minsan kahit sa mall ganyan sya pero minsan naman tawa sya ng tawa sa ibang tao. Ok sya sa kids, hindi niya lang type ang mga adults. I'm thinking of sending him to a play school, baka sakaling madevelop ang social skills niya. Mga mommies, ano kaya ang magandang gawin everytime sinasaktan niya ako, hindi kasi sya tumitigil agad at talagang nagkakasugat ako sa face. Pinapabayaan ko lang sya pero hindi sya tumitigil. help! :-[
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: KVsmommy on May 30, 2012, 02:37:00 am
Hay my little girl WAS not really 'tantrumera', she's been pretty good-natured for the most part of the so-called 'terrible twos'...BUT before she turned three, mga  a couple of months before siguro (she just turned three this May), she became really whiny. As in lahat iniingit niya. She always as in always insists for things to be done her way, at pag di sya nasusunod, umiiyak sya agad. Hindi naman sya yung tipong nagwawala talaga in public, although minsan she does cry when we go out pag di sya nasusunod, but when we're at home naku....talagang 'warla' mode kami pag nagtantrums sya. She's starting to act like a spoiled brat, and it really stresses me out sometimes. I mean why now that she's three na? Akala ko yung 'twos' yung terrible...

Hindi ko maiwasan minsan, natataasan ko sya ng boses, but I do say sorry naman after, and I explain to her why I got angry. Pero may times na super stubborn sya, what we do is do the face-the-wall-daddy-edition. Nilalabas namin sya sa terrace namin (gates locked of course), and we let her cry and cry there. We tell her she won't be allowed inside until she stops with her tantrums. Eventually, narerealize din niya when she did something wrong and knocks on the screen door na saying sorry. Nandun lang din naman kami looking at  her sa may screen door, di naman puedeng pabayaan sa terrace, baka madulas or something eh.

Hay araw-araw kaming may mga ganitong eksena, as in 90% of the week may ganitong drama....
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: momaye on May 30, 2012, 11:28:49 am
I am glad that my 23-month old son can control his emotion. Very masunurin sya and thanks to his new yaya. Parang matanda na mag-isip at pag binawal mo sya titigil. But still, there are times na ayaw pabawal especially pag napapapansin sya. Ganyan kasi mga toddler especially those who are entering the terrible two. Konting tiyaga lang mga mommies, wag na natin sila papatulan and always use the time out. Ang nagwork sa akin, sinasabi ko sa anak ko what will be the consequences of his action and natatandaan naman niya so he won't repeat it. In case naman na iiyak sya when he don't get what he wants, I offer him something na mas maganda for him or ilalayo ko sya sa pinagwawalaan niya. Usually kasi nagpapansin sila kaya nagwawala, as a parent kelangan maging sensitive ka sa needs nila. Ayaw nila ng napagaantay sila so as much as you can magrespond ka sa needs nila especially kung talagang kelangan na niya.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: chococream on June 01, 2012, 12:27:53 pm
hay naku mga sis, my toddler pag nagtantrums is nagsisira na talaga ng gamet,
tinatapon na niya ang chairs and tables niya, then if me makita na mababasag ayon kinukuha and tinatapon. Most of the time sya ganito pag  nakita niya ang cousin niya na kinakarga ko muna while yong pinsan ko is nagcr or me kinuha.

bigla na syang iiyak, tatapon kung ano makita niya tapos pag hindi pa yon uubra to get me to put the child ayon basag na ang kung ano. madami na talagang nasira ang anak ko.

kinukuha ko talaga sya at nilalabas, iyak pa din ng iyak nagagalet talaga sya tapos sisigaw, maghuhubad ng damit tapos andun na sa floor parang worm. as in super spoiled talaga na behaviour pag galet halos lahat ng andito sa bahay sasabihin na super maldita talaga anak ko.  pero if good mood naman talkative and lively naman sya and play sya ng play yon nga lang pag hindi sya napansin ko agad nko, ewan...kahit me kausap lgn ako sa phone, or tumawag dada niya or kausap lang si MIL tapos me sinabi sya na hindi ko nadinig or hindi ko napansin hay nko ayon na naman magwawala.

Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: ysLim on June 01, 2012, 01:28:13 pm
^naku same tayo sis. anak ko rin mahilig magtapon ng gamit para mapansin. kahit di sya umiiyak, pag walang pumapansin sa kanya, ayun magtatapon na ng kung ano-anong madampot sa crib niya. kung nagtatantrums, ganun din magtatapon ng gamit, at worse eh itatapon ang sarili.  :o eh kahoy ang crib niya so nauuntog sya pag ganun tapos lalong iiyak.

medyo nahihirapan akong idiscipline sya kasi sa bahay pag iiyak yan, kung titiisin ko man, hindi naman matiis ng lola o kaya ng tita. kahit nga maid ng isang bata sa bahay hindi rin sya matiis. kukunin tapos dadalhin sa labas. siguro rin kasi iniisip nila baka mastress ako eh buntis ako.

pero syempre ayaw naman namin ni hubby ng ganun kasi nasasanay na sya. so pag nasa bahay kami at nagtatantrums, tinitiis namin talaga, pag pansin namin na kukunin na naman, we firmly say na wag syang kukunin. matatapos din naman iyak niya tapos tawa na ulit. haaayy. ang kulit.

minsan ang ginagawa ko para tumigil, binibigyan ko ng water, syempre uhaw sya sa kasisigaw kaya iinom tapos titigil na.  :)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: chococream on June 01, 2012, 02:00:03 pm
ewan ko ba sis ysLim

dali syang ma upset, ma frustrate o ganito lang talaga agn age nila. happy toddler naman sya siguro dahil din full attention ko sa kanya kaya parang nagagalet sya pag nawawala ang full attention ko sa kanya. I dont like na na feel na envy, anger, nagtatampo na sya tapos recently lang is iiyak na sya while natutulog. hindi naman sya ganito before

kaya pag sleep na kami, kinakausap ko talaga sya tapos i try at most to explain yong na feel niya. sumasagot din naman sya if why nagalit sya ng ganun or ano bah. sana nga lang hindi sya ma influence sa school niya now, kasi medyo nakita ko din yong mga bata dun mga spoiled brat. crossing fingers nlgn talaga ako nito.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: babyblair on June 01, 2012, 02:22:28 pm
Thank God dahil walang tantrums si blair. I don't know if it's early to say. Pero as of now 13mos na siya. Eh hindi siya iyakin. She listens to me. And I would like to keep her good behavior hanggang sa paglaki niya.

Question ko paano pag pinagalitan ko siya dahil she did something I don't like.and she starts to cry? Ano ba dapat gawin? Susuyuin? Aamuin or just let her cry para she knows di niya ako makukuha sa iyak?
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: chococream on June 01, 2012, 03:41:05 pm
you have to be firm on teaching her the lesson sis, you don't generally have to spank her. explain to her what makes it bad, and why you don't like what she did sis. tapos if twice na repeat ka pa din sa reason why bad and why's tapos add ka nalang ng consequences kung uulitin niya example is hindi mo sya papayagan panoorin yong favorite cartoon niya or use her favorite pillow or something pero hindi talaga matagal bali ang punishment enough to teach her the lesson pero never deprive her sa necessities niya.

yon kasi ginagawa ko now. dahan dahan na namang nagets niya ang reasons ko, like other sisses here, deadma galore nalang talaga ako. damn those that listens to the whining toddler na nag tantrums. Tapos yong mga kukuha sa kanya goodluck sa akin. hehe
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Anne Mercado on June 03, 2012, 01:32:17 am
What exactly do you do when your child has tantrums? --> need to know this so I can help you better :) But in the meantime:

It's normal for toddlers to have these. And they continue to have them because 1) they do not know how to manage their emotions well, 2) they get your attention when they scream

So what do you do? Well, NOT punishing them for it is one.

The only way to do this is to reward positive behavior. That means ignoring screams even when they escalate. When he has calmed down- he will eventually, it's just a matter of time, that's when you talk to him. Its also important to tell your child you know what they want (even if they can't have it)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Tiger Lily on June 07, 2012, 02:38:29 pm
One of the reasons why some kids cry a lot is that they might want something. To know if they do, reading this article could be of help: Does your Child Use Crying to Get What he Wants? (http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/pinoy-parenting/does-your-child-use-crying-to-get-want-he-wants/page/3)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: aliya_liapot on June 08, 2012, 03:29:43 pm
Hi mommy maphine. Im encountering the same problems din with my daughter. Ive tried several styles but and nag work lang is yung tinitingnan ko sya ng masama. Kasi alam niya that im already mad. Tapos tatahimik sya and will avoid eye contact. Minsan magpapacute pa siya para hindi na ko tumingin ng masama.

Every child is different so try mo kung ano magwwork sa kid mo. Bringing toys that she loves also helps para maaliw. Sad to say pero ipad never fails to amuse my daughter. Try mo din yun.

Goodluck!
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: twelvth_goddess on June 13, 2012, 03:41:50 am
My daughter is at a stage na she uses screaming to get what she wants. As in loud, piercing screams talaga. We just ignore her. Napansin ko lang na pag daddy niya ang nag-firm voice, mas madalas na tumitigil sya kesa pag ako ang nagsasabe.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: hlazaro on December 30, 2012, 12:28:01 pm
Hello moms i need help, im short tempered mom i want some help how to handle my 20 month old baby girl.

1. is that when I gave her meds or vitamins since i also have hard time give it to her. Afterwards she starts tantrums crying more than hours.
2. Shes too clingy, i wanted to go down the stairs or cook and she whines afterwards she doesnt want to be left behind. All she wants to do is me to carry her.
3. How to introduce to her new yaya, coz she doesnt want to even go to her she only want to stay with me.

I REALLY NEED help IM GOING CRAZY ALREADY :(
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Mommy Jazz on January 02, 2013, 02:36:13 pm
Hello hlazaro! I shared my story similar to yours, backread nalang po.
1) check out another thread about giving vitamins, techniques other moms shared. When you give her her vits, does she somehow take it with tantrums or totally refuse it? Showing a little compliance kasi even with tantrums is a positive sign that she can be worked on.
2) If her being clingy stops you from you regular routine, let her whine and cry. Finish your duties and attend to her afterwards. Kung wala naman siyang sakit or doesn't hurt herself, is not hungry or wet, there should be no cause for worry. Nakaka stress talaga but it's part of the training. Start distancing yourself from her pa konti-konti. Leave the house say 15 minutes for the next 3 days leaving her with her Yaya, gradually increasing it to 30 mins in a week until her tantrums stops. Your absence is vital in this training. Kasi pag walang audience (ikaw yon), titigil ang performance (her tantrums). She needs to learn to come out of her own misery by herself without anyone comforting her. In my case, my toddler (now 5yo) sees me as an extension of his body and as a slave. His crying increased when I applied these steps pero when he came to realize he can't have it his way by crying, it gradually decreased. You also have to tell family members not to pick her up, even to show concern or recognize her tantrums. This way mas mapapabilis ang process.
3) With these , she should be ready to be with her Yaya na.


I got these tips from a Child Psychologist who checked my boy when he was about your daughter's age. Hope it helps.

Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: prettyhope on January 02, 2013, 04:24:06 pm
hi, Sisses! happy new year po! ako din, im happy na walang tantrums si gabbie ko and she's 2yrs and 4mos old now.. pag may gusto sya at hindi ko binigay yuyuko lang sya at hihikbi.. minsan iiyak pero kakausapin ko lang at papaliwanagan. like if gabbie wants a toy sabihin ko lang, wala nang money si mommy.. minsan okay na sa kanya minsan naman hindi.. minsan sasabihin niya "melon pa money mommy! wallet dame!" the first time i heard that hindi ko alam kung matatawa, matutuwa o maiinis ako eh hehe one thing is for sure, nagulat ako dahil alam niya na sa wallet nakalagay ang money hehe.. 

i am thankful kasi hindi naman sya yung bata na tulad ng iba na naglulupasay sa floor at ngangawa..  ;D iiyak lang sya sa tabi ko or habang naka-kandong... then maya maya okay na sya. :) :) :) madali naman sya kausap.. i pray na hangang sa paglaki niya ganun sya.. and one more thing i like about her is she say thank you every time makuha niya ang gusto niya  :) :) :)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: hlazaro on January 03, 2013, 07:58:52 am
thanks Mommyjazz it really help that some moms does help 1st time mom like me be guided. My daughter is very intelligent insecure lang kasi last 2 months ago umalis na yun yaya na nakagisnan niya since then kaya sya naging clingy now kasi ala pa me nakikita na permanent na yaya sa kanya so iba ibang faces nakikita niya sa house so ako lang ang trusted niya kaya sya mas nagiging clingy sa akin at doesnt want to go with other people she just met.
If my mga mom suggestions pa po kayo feel free po i really need some help i want to discipline her kasi
I'll try to apply on it. hirap lang talaga iwanan thanks again
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: KVsmommy on January 03, 2013, 12:20:07 pm
my 3.5 year old isn't really the ma-tantrums type of kid, pero lately, grabe she's become really difficult to handle. Ayaw makinig, ayaw sumunod, and always wants her way. Palibhasa she can express herself better na, and yung siguro nagkakaron na din talaga sya ng personal preferences kaya marunong na mag insist on what she wants. Hirap lang talaga pag tinamaan ng mood at nasa labas kami, naku nakakagigil minsan...
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: chester on January 03, 2013, 03:23:10 pm
my baby boy is 17 months old.  tantrums sa mga simpleng toys na gusto niya binibigay ko.  sa mga bagay na gusto niya pero maari niyang masira or makasakit, hindi ko binibigay, instead i shift his attention sa ibang bagay. pag nakakasakit siya sa iba/ako and he laughs, i told him na nasasaktan na ako and it's not funny.   He knows kung galit na ako and kikiss siya sa akin sa lips.  kung hindi ako galit at humihingi ako ng kiss sa kanya, inilalapit niya ang cheek niya para halikan ko, hindi siya ang hahalik. ;D
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: CherrylOTRP on January 11, 2013, 07:34:15 pm
i think ang key dito eh communication, teach them how to express their feelings na it's ok to feel that way, earn his/her trust & most especially show your love & appreciation... :)

sakin importante kilala ko anak ko, alam ko kung anong gusto at ayaw niya. kung anong kaya at limitasyon niya. sa ganon malalaman mo kung pano mo sya iha-handle. ...at pag di natin maituro sa kanila kung ano man gusto natin, don't feel bad, loosen up there's still ways. ;) :) :D ;D

Good Job Mommy Kalix!!!
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: susanlinamartinez on September 01, 2013, 11:00:30 pm
my son just turned 2 this month. he's a quiet a shy type boy. and when he gets upset the tantrums starts.. he will doing things that i dont like and will change his mood in a bad mood.. and when i talk to him in gentle way he will not stop crying.. but when i start scolded him..he will gets anger too and dont stop crying.. i dont know na what to do.. my way of diverting him every time he tantrums seems no effect anymore.. what wil i do? ayaw ko naman na lagi syang napapalo o napapagalitan.. ayaw ko sana syang sanayin sa galit.. :(
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Mommy Jazz on September 02, 2013, 11:20:50 am
Topic "whats the effective ways to a tantrum baby?" merged with this topic.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Scottish Mum on April 03, 2015, 01:30:16 pm
My 8yr old daughter Rebecca is really bad for taking tantrums just now but I am struggling on how to stop these because my   punishments don't work and just seem to make her tantrums worse :-(.   I have tried talking to her to see what caused the tantrum but she just ignores me, I've also tried naughty step, grounding her, sending her to bed early and loss of priveleges but none of these work.

Here are 2 examples of her tantrums:

1) She was playing Tennis on Xbox yesterday (she is a massive Tennis fan as am I) and computer was dominating scoreboard so when she was nearing defeat she threw controller on floor and started to cry and then shouted "ITS NOT FAIR, I NEVER GET TO WIN!!". I came into room and calmly said "I think its time for a little timeout because you are getting angry, you can go on it later once you've calmed down but if you take another tantrum, Xbox gets confiscated".

2) Yesterday, she wanted to walk to School with a couple of friends so I got her to get ready 5mins early so that she was ready to leave when friends got to the house. She put  her shoes on quickly and got me to tie shoelaces for her, then she put her jacket and schoolbag on so I then nicely asked that she zip the jacket and put her hood up.  She ignored me so, I put the hood up and started zipping the jacket but she unzipped it and put hood back down so next, I went to zip jacket back up but this time she didn't let me, she threw jacket on floor, stamped her feet on ground and shouted to me very loudly "I WANT MY JACKET OPEN STUPID MUMMY!", so I sat her on naughty step for 8mins explaining why she was put there.  Once 8mins were up, I put the jacket and schoolbag back on her and very, very firmly said "now this time, YOU zip it or else you are walking with mummy", she turned away from me in a strop so, I zipped her jacket and put the hood up and said to her "You are walking with mummy because you didn't do as I asked! The friends arrived as soon as I was leaving the house so I told them that Rebecca was walking with me because she misbehaved.

So, how did I handle the situations, could I have done anything differently and also, how can I stop or punish these tantrums because, as I've said, nothing I try seems to work?
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Mommy Jazz on September 03, 2015, 02:02:02 pm
10 Thoughts That Cross Your Mind As Your Child Goes Through a Meltdown
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/pinoy-parenting/10-thoughts-of-a-mom-whose-child-is-going-through-a-meltdown
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: emillywilliams on November 18, 2015, 06:01:22 am
There are some techniques on the internet that would teach you how to deal with your child emotionally, kids at this age don't understand logic, so you have to deal with him emotionally, let him feel that he decide and he's the one in control, while he does while you want and you are the one in control, that's very important (Emotional)

Visit our website for some useful tips  http://www.parentsskills.com (http://www.parentsskills.com)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Maricris Castillo on January 17, 2016, 06:32:55 am
Ako din po mommies my daughter is 18 months and nang uuntog po sya pg may tantrums or pinapalo ulo niya. Stressed nko sa call center tapos makikita ko pa anak ko na ganun. It makes me feel i wanted to quit from work pero im the only one na may work since pinapaaral ko pa si hubby
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Freya's Mom on June 07, 2017, 01:34:07 am
^My 19 month old baby does the same! Untog  niya talaga ulo niya as in pag di nakuha ang gusto. Minsan biglang subsob muka niya sa bed tas di gagalaw mga 3 minutes. Talked to her pedia about it and she doesn't seem worried about it. Basta here pedia told me na pag sinabi kong "no.", e paninindigan kong "no." talaga. Otherwise, mamimihasa and I'll be raising my very own Brat daw pag sinunod ko yung gusto everytime na mag tantrums.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Mommy Jazz on June 21, 2017, 01:42:46 pm
Try to leave your child alone in the room pag nagta-tanrum. In most cases kasi, they want attention and stop pag wala silang audience. Make sure na safe ang room or play pen.
Leave them alone muna for 15 mins, then gradually increase that hanggang sa masanay na ang bata na wala kayo sa paningin niya. The objective here is for the toddler to learn how to calm him/herself. To give him/her that chance, dapat hindi kayo present.
Mahirap para sa ating mommies at first kasi instinct natin ang laging maging "to the rescue". We need to train ourselves as well.
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Mommy Jazz on October 07, 2017, 10:13:21 pm
Faced With a Huge Tantrum? Let It Happen, One Mom Suggests
(http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/images/2017/10/05/171005-prnt-A2.jpg)

The mom recognized she needed to let her son to express his emotions before he could be consoled, even if it meant a huge tantrum. There was no shortcut, she said. You just had had to let out these difficult feelings.
Read more:
http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/preschooler/think-of-this-when-you-re-faced-with-a-crying-child-says-mom-a00026-20171006 (http://www.smartparenting.com.ph/parenting/preschooler/think-of-this-when-you-re-faced-with-a-crying-child-says-mom-a00026-20171006)



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Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Leslie Vera on May 28, 2018, 11:33:21 am
Hi Mommies Im glad I saw this post. I have 3 boys. eldest is 5, 2nd is 3 and youngest is 2. my 2nd son throws tantrums the most the the weirdest power! AS IN! he cries over spaces in between beds saying its not perfect and wants to have things done his way. its his way or no way. my eldest didnt have the same attitude. my husband work overseas and i work home based, but I have a yaya to help me out with the chores so pretty much im well hands on to my kids. thing is sometimes he just burst out of anger, masyado siya grumpy and he screams really loud. as a mom xempre i have to have all the patience in the world to deal with it. and aminin natin it gets into our nerves.I spoke to a doctor regarding his behavior since i was concerned dahil medyo advanced siya. ( he started reading books at the age if 2) and told me its normal. and he will outgrow it. i gave him timeouts and take away his privilege kapag nagpapasaway na. no treats, toys, milk for 5 mins. so far naman medyo sumusunod na siya. I feel you mommies. Just hang in there, di kayo nagiisa. :)
Title: Re: child tantrums
Post by: Mommy Jazz on May 31, 2018, 10:40:11 pm
Thanks Mommy Leslie. I remember the days din na isasara ko nalang yung mga bintana at pinto namin para hindi marinig ng mga kapit bahay. Sa lakas at frequent na tantrums na baby ko noon, baka isipin nila sinasaktan namin.

What we did is to ignore and true, tumitigil siya pag walang audience o wala ako sa room. I pull myself away basta sure ako na safe siya sa kinalalagyan niya.